PERSONALITY PARADE: NO 4

Dozerdust, Volume 1, Issue 6, 17 July 1943, Page 3

PERSONALITY PARADE: NO 4

MAJOR SUCKER 0. B. E.

BY

Some men move through life as smoothly as a river through a Naiouli forest; some sweep! through life like a tropical storm; some vegetate like cabbages in a garden and some plod through like draught horses in harness. But not so Major Suck -er, 0.8. E, whose sharp wit, shrewd observations and playful style charms young and old®

When first he poked his nose on to the stage of life, in the village of Christchurch, he bum -ped into misfortune#• an

unwanted child. His mother, a fashionable lady of the town, his father, a gambler of some standing among bookies, the young Sucker grew up in an atmosphere of stale cigar smoke and cheap scent. He was treated like a girl by his mother, like a coming jockey by his father. At school he was almost expelled by his preoccupation with small girls* underwear— a habit he transferred to women as he grew in years. On leaving school his ambition was to be a gentleman like his father, but make his money as easily as his mother. A few years as a bookie, backing unsuccessful pugilists, convinced him he did not have the brains of his father. Major Sucker then toyed with the idea of a University course, as most of his class do. instead he took a job selling Fruit Machines to Barbers and Billiard Saloons at which he did very well until the police caught up with him® He then joined the State Housing Dept, and took an active part in forming a " sweep n as a method of allocating the houses. It is believed he did very well-, He was one of the first to volunteer for the war, offering his services as' an organiser for the ” Victory Loans n . Again he did very well, until the scandal sheet,Truth, bogan asking too many questions. He then pressed for overseas service, and, as.is known, was appointed ” Gossip Writer M for Dozerdust.