PERSONALITY PARADE NO. 3

Dozerdust, Volume 1, Issue 5, 9 July 1943, Page 3

PERSONALITY PARADE NO. 3

by

EDDIE HEAL.

I am writing this from Hospital. You will know why when you read my story:-

Cooks are such important people in the Army that I thought it 2 high time one of them appeared on our page. l regret that decision now, for one of those cooks is re sponsible for my present helpless condition. Dont jump to conclusions, howeverjmine is external not internal trouble. Eddie is the villain- he’s a cook and a mighty big one tool

> Ho was born in Christchurch in A - 1915. and later (of course) worked in a Brewery. No wonder he wants to get back to his civilian workl . He trained for an Army Cook, but unfortunately that Course did not give the necessary experience in opening tins without an opener, so he now feels at a loss. With the other cooks a four-hour shift;the first from 4a.m. till Ba.m., the second Ba.m. till 12 midday, the third midday till 4p.m», and the fourth from 4p.m. till Bp.m. I went to interview him during the afternoon and caught him between the pastry and the apples. He was ,■ the typical, well-built f bronzed South Islander. I immediately

remembered him as the chap who played (with a knife and fork on the window and carriage, furniture) — k M other’s Drawers will soon fit Annie”, from Burnham to Lyttelton on the first stage of our journey to the Frozen North. When I asked him why he had decided to become an Army Cook, he explained that he wished to get even with a number of enemies. To accomplish this, there wore two courses open to himto become a General or a Cook. Ho chose the latter. He then excused -himself for a few minutes and I heard him pointing out to the Orderly (in very colourful language) that if he didn’t keep the petrol cooker stoked up with logs , he wouldn’t get any dinner. When he returned-, he.told me that , with his favourite actress, he liked to be alone. I couldn’t see her about so I stayed where I was. He brightened with fatherly pride when he told me he had two fine children back in NZ. (by that he meant the South Island, of course) ’’Are you married?", I asked. I came to in hospital some hours later.

Some time ago, we - received an article written in what appeared to be hieroglyphics. < It was handed on to our Art'Editor for translation ... With the aid of a bottle of “Butterfly Brandy”, “Plonk”, and a liberal supply of meths we received the translation before going to press. We do.not offer editorial com- ' ment on the article. It appears on Page 4. ********************************** Sgt. Fred Watts wishes to nominate Sapporo D.Holwell and Leo Inns for the High x Diving Class at any forthcoming swimming sports. Both are exports of the crash dive I ****************************** For information re the “Pink House”, see Sapper Leo. Inns. **********************************

Who was the DOKO Sapper who escorted an elderly Frenchwoman to supper at the recent dance? After exhausting his limited French vocabulary trying to. toll her that it was supper-time, he was slightly taken aback with her reply in good English ”l know it’s time to eat”. mi — — I I »»WIW — W —IJ <> «» *****