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Camp News (Northern Command), Volume 1, Issue 7, 14 June 1940, Page 7

YULE SMILE ! — : f NEW TURN; Drill Sergeant (impatiently): Didn’t /on hear “About turn?” I New Recruit: No. Wot about ’im? * * * * The old soldier was recalling his var experiences. “As we got to Wipers ...” he began. «' “Yeeps,” interrupted his wife. 1 The soldier sighed and started all V.ver again. “As I was sayin’, he Continued, “When we got to Wipers. | “Yeeps,” exclaimed his wife. | He looked at her sympathetically. Blimey, duck,” he sighed. “You *aven’t ’alf got ’iccups . bad.” ♦ * * ♦ I ■ v -h: I I An old fisherman hauled in his net .nd found a ihine in it. 1 Hailing a passing merchant ship, he piled, “What shall I do with this?” I Back came a yell from the skipper, ; : Give me a hundred yards start, then vou can do what you like with it.” I - . B . ♦ . * ♦ * 5’ .. . it “A pound of candles, please,” said She very old lady in the village shop. 1 “No candles, missus, owing to the Var.” j “Mercy on us. Are the poor things by candle light now?” .* * * * ! w Uli ' “Whose is that cigarette end on the joor?” inquired the orderly officer. . The culprit looked at it for a moment. • “You’d better have it, sir,” he replied. “After all, you saw it first.” ♦.♦ * * I ' • “And how high does your balloon Jo?” asked the old lady. The sergeant scratched his head. ‘Funny you should say that, ma’am,” ie replied. “I’ve been wondering ' ? ibout it all day. * “You see, when we pulled it in this 'horning we looked on top . . . and ('here, large as life, lay a perishin’ arp.” t«' 1 IP' * * . * * I SO THE GUY RAN! y Private Jones was in hospital bed, lace downwards, a nasty wound in is back. t To his side came the local parson, ommiserating: “My poor fellow, how id you come by your wound?” “Well, it was like this ’ere,” exlamed Private Jones: “When the 'aptain said, ‘Do or Die, men,’ I bought he said, ‘Do a guy, men.’ ” r ' . - ♦ * * * |t! Rookie: Yes, Cutie, my mother had great sense of humour. *■ jli Sweetie: She must. She had you!