Native Humour.

Waiapu Church Gazette, Volume XV, Issue 5, 1 November 1924, Page 454

Native Humour.

This diocese possesses a unique treasure m the form of a highly venerated Maori priest, H., whose conversation sparkles with humor. We feel that these jewels should not. be wasted on the few who hear them. We have asked one of his intimate friends to supply us jvith a few of his sayings, but these can be fully appreciated only ' by those who know . his genial and fascinating personality and the innocence and naivete with whieli his bon mots drop out. Most of them depend -upon his use of English phrases, proverbs and big words aptly but more or less appropriately, Here is a selection : : — •': He was preaching m Maori to\ the •'boys at Te Aute but thinking the sermon was being too long drawn out the Chaplain intervened. Complain-

ing of this afterwards H said: "You see I have sixteen points m my sermon, but when I finish two the Chaplain says time to stop, I not finish my dress." ' "But what were you preaching about?" "Oh, I preach about the law toaie of immortality." • He had been visiting settlers along the Coast. He thought them much better folk than the city dwellers of Opotiki. "When I come to Opotiki I laugh m the end of my sleeve." An agnostic fellow traveller up the Coast ridiculed Christ and religion. To his criticisms of the Bible H. presented a wonderfully intelligent and sound defence, but when he ex- ' pressed contempt for Christianity,- H. reined m his horse, j)roduced a mere which he happened to be carrying, flourished it and exclaimed fiercely, "If no Christianity I eat you! I no half caste, I full blooded Maori. I put you m frying pan, I cook you!" A plymouthist attached himself to him on a journey and expressed anxiety about H.s soul. He was saved, he was going* to heaven, he was not afraid to 1 die at any moment. When they reached the river it was m flood. The plymouthist was afraid to attempt it, but H. produced a rope and, tying it to the frightened man 's horse and to his own saddle, dragged the man half-way across. Then he cut. him adrift and addressed him: "You say you not afraid to die? Die then!" 1 H. likes, the congenial company of fellow priests when he comes down to Synod by the boat. "If I go to Synod by . myself I have to travel with Dick, Harry and Tom." Asked at a clergy conference re his procedure as to banns or license for native aspirants to marriage, he exclaimed: "If they good people, if they communicants, I give Bishop's license. These not good people, Ino give Bishop's license— l na cast pearls before swine."