THE OVER-HELPFUL MOTHER.

New Zealand Tablet, Volume LII, Issue 18, 20 May 1925, Page 61

THE OVER-HELPFUL MOTHER.

In reply to an inquiry about her studies, a young high school girl recently said: “I’ve had too much help in my French, so I haven’t got along very well. You- "see, mother knows French, and she .likes to help me, and I’ve hated to take that pleasure away from her. But when I begin again next year I’m going to do it all by myself.” The love of independence and the joy of self-help are inborn in every normal person •„ they appear in the two-year-old, .who insistently refuses to be helped, as well as in ' the young man who wants to “shift for himself.” What healthy girl of boy fails to find zest in doing work all by herself orhimself, in beginning a task and hanging on to the end, even though . the way leads through hard places? Tasks are like games; they are no fun if they are too easy. To-day there is no spinning or weaving for the girl, no woodwork for most boys. , As household labor has lessened, the high ’ school curriculum has changed. The work there has grown harder; young, people are i expected to know more. . Some wise parents have met the new' conditions sensibly..' Many ■ welcome the serious study put upon their children ; but. some—and their anxiety is ■ easily understood and forgiven—have! tried to help by doing part of the work themselves. ! Many a mother confesses to hemming for her daughter when the tasks in domestic art f are heavy or troublesome. Many fathers .do the lessons in mathematics that are puzzling their children. '

A young girl said recently, “I have a pile or essays; that have, good marks on them fk»- triSon-v-nj •.0 - roc a- .v .1 ■ but . when' !.. leave school I’m . going to lay them away, tie them with ribbons, and label 1 them. ‘ Mother’s Essays/, for she gave me the ideas for most of them, and helped mo to write all of them.” That mother wanted her daughter to succeed, but she forgot that it was not a case of making an essay but an essayist. ... ~.. '•.. N •, • Everyone knows the misguided, over-help-ful mother who dresses her daughter beyond the family income.' One, mother works' in a shop that her daughter may dress like a girl of fashion. The girl has an excellent voice, but she will never be a singer because the mother has taken away her power to do —the ability to hold fast unto the end. A young boy came home the other day and threw his books impatiently, on a ‘ chair. “I’m sick and tired of school,” he ‘ said. His mother had some of the ideas of the Spartans. “I’m sick' and tired of housework,” ’was her reply, “but it’s my work. Going to school is yours. Go and do it.” And the boy who - was only a ' few, months ago “sick and tired ,of school” has done so well at - school since then that he . is now head of his class. ‘ ; f ; To many young people life is becoming hard because it is too easy. Watch any normal, healthy , boy or girl ; see how a good hard task brightens the eye and brings to the face a ‘ glow of ' Interest, ; Strong, healthy young backs need burdens to; carry not over-heavy, but‘good hard. housework cooking for the family, compositions; that make them think, and the hundred tasks that are 1 list - heavy enough for the young backs to hold without strain, but: with wholesome exercise. When the parent comes along and lifts the burden, he subjects his child to the danger of flabby muscles, lowered vb tality, loss of power, unfulfilled possibilities. The dangers of overwork have been emphasised until the phrase is in current and continuous --i.se. Is it not time to think of under-work and its attendant evils? • > ; c ..: ila ..■.