SMILE RAISERS.

New Zealand Tablet, 18 August 1921, Page 46

SMILE RAISERS.

Teacher; “Do yon know the population of London?” “Not all of them, ma’am; we’ve only lived here two years.” Mother: “Annie, I hope yon are not teaching the parrot to use slang.” Annie; “Oh, no, mother. I’m just telling him the things ho must not say.” Father was testing his son’s knowledge of arithmetic. “Now, sonny,” he said, “suppose your mother had three pounds and I had ten. It I gave her seven pounds, what would she have?” “Hysterics,” muttered the precocious child as he drifted into the garden. Teacher: “Now, Bobby, how much do six and four make?” Bobby (eagerly); “Eleven, sir.” “Teacher; “Now, guess again.” Bobby (doubtfully); “Twelve nine— thirteen.” Teacher: “How about ten?” Bobby (exultantly): “Oh. you can’t mix me up that way. Five and live make ten.” One Saturday afternoon a, woman entered a grocer’s shop. After ordering her weekly list of goods, the grocer asked her if she would be good enough to take the things with her. She became indignant. “Well, ma’am,” replied the grocer, “I’m sorry to have # to ask you to take them, but I’ve no one —my right hand’s away with a swollen foot.” “I’m not at all sure,” said the profiteer’s wife to the head master of the fashionable preparatory school, “how your school is going to suit my dear boy.” The head master smiled confidently. “You need not worry about that, madam,” he said; “we’ve taught him how to hold his knife already.” A countryman who went to a / large city to see the sights engaged a room at an hotel, and before retiring asked the clerk about the hours for meals. “We have .breakfast from seven to eleven, dinner from twelve to three, and supper from six to eight,” explained the clerk. “Look here,” inquired the farmer, in response, “what time am I goin’ to get to see the town?”