SMILE RAISERS.

New Zealand Tablet, 13 February 1919, Page 46

SMILE RAISERS.

New Curate: "What did you think of the sermon on Sunday, Mrs. Jones?" Parishioner: "Very good indeed, sir. So instructive. We really didn't know what sin was till you came here." fa i —■ m "All right behind there?" called the conductor from the front of his car. "Hold on!" cried a shrill voice. "Wait till I get my clothes on!" The passengers craned their necks expectantly. But it was only a small boy struggling to get a basket of laundry aboard. j "Sedentary work," said the college lecturer, "tends to lessen the endurance." "In other words," butted in the smart student, "the more one sits the less one can stand." "Exactly," retorted the lecturer; "and if one lies a great deal one's standing is lost completely." A Scottish farmer, being elected a school manager, visited the village school and tested the intelligence of the class by his questions. His first inquiry was: "Now, boys, can. any one of you tell me what naething is?" After a moment's silence, a small boy in a back seat rose and replied: "It's what, ye gi'ed me t'other day for hauding yer horse !" He was one of those fellows who are always in a hurry, and the motor-bus was one that refused to be bustled. It crawled up the hill like a tank at about two miles an hour. "Hi, driver," said the ill-tempered man, spitefully, "we are not going to a funeral, you know." "You're right, mister," replied the driver, "we ain't. And we ain't goin' to a fire neither."