The Family Circle

New Zealand Tablet, 25 January 1917, Page 61

The Family Circle

i PEOPLE LIKED HIM. V People liked him, not because • i He was rich or known to fame, He had never won applause’ As a star in any game. ; His was not a brilliant style, His was not a forceful way, But he had a gentle smile And a kindly word to say. Never arrogant or proud, On he went with manner mild, Never quarrelsome or loud, Just as simple as a child. Honest, patient, brave, and true Thus he lived from day to day, Doing what he found to do In a cheerful sort’ of way. Sort of man you’d like to be, Balance well apd truly square ; Patient in adversity, Generous when his skies were fair. Never lied to friend or foe, Never rash in word or deed. Quick to come and slow to go In a neighbor’s time of need. Never rose to wealth or fame, Simply lived, and simply died, But the passing of his name t Left a sorrow far and wide, Not for glory he’s attained, Nor for what he had of pelf ” Were the friends that he had gained, But for what he was himself. THE CATHOLIC FEDERATION; ITS AIMS AND OBJECTS. A Prize Essay. The following is the winning essay in the competition promoted by the Thorndon branch of the Catholic Federation. For a juvenile production it is well written, and shows thoughtfulness and originality: A united body fighting for no party but a principle, and that one of toleration, is the Catholic Federation. It has no objects save those which are dictated by this principle, and also the moral welfare of New Zealand. Thanks to its admirable unity, these objects are usually attained in a short time : everyone who contributes sixpence or a shilling, making a new piece of effective mechanism in the vast machine, which, owing to such help, is enabled to travel on oiled wheels towards its goal. Its energies have of late been concentrated on obtaining for Catholic pupils the same privileges which the State schools enjoy. The Federation has to safeguard the interests of one hundred and forty thousand Catholics, half of whom are adults. In order that the principles of vtheir religion may not be violated, these are spending £IOO,OOO a year on education. ■ It is also doing good •work in its successful attempts to reform the cinematograph films. This last achievement is its most memorable one, and one of which it is justly proud. As a result of the Federation’s efforts, a Governmentcensor has been appointed, to examine films before they are produced at picture theatres. They are also working vigorously for the extinction of the custom of allowing children to sell newspapers on the streets. This should be a tangible proof of the.; Federation’s earnestness and activity. The bulwarks of intolerance and religious indifference should soon be submerged by this golden flood, which has so strong a purpose behind it. The Catholic Federation is represented in more than one greatcountry in the world. One of its chief centres of

activity is Germany* where the party has attained great popularity as a result of its stand s for the : privileges of workmen. In America it is also well represented, owing to the large number of Irishmen who have emigrated to that country. r - ■ . Thus it will be seen that the Federation is strong, not only in unity but in numbers. It has one great qualityresolution, and the power, of achievement. ■ ‘ Succeed; I judge men' only by results,’ said Napoleon. The Federation has already been .so judged. ' Let ’.us’ hope that a future crop of similar judgments will force its opponents to acknowledge that their utmost exertions will do little to keep them in power,, if they refuse to accede to the just demands of a righteous cause. . ■ ' ■; ■; P. J. A. Emerson, ' ' Marist Brothers’ School, Wellington. OF NECESSITY. - The father of a family presented himself at an emigration office, and asked for tickets. > - ‘ How many are you?’ inquired the agent. ‘ Threemyself, wife, and child.’ ‘ Your age and profession?’ went on the clerk. —*l ye just turned thirty; profession, carpenter; my wife, a needlewoman.’ Three of you, you said?’ inquired the man. ‘ What about the child — sex and age?’ Boy seven months.’ 4 Profession ?’ The father s eyebrows fvere raised so much that they almost formed Gothic arches on his forehead. His profession, I say ?’ repeated the agent. The astounded father paused just a moment longer wondering where red tape would slop; then, as if inspired, he said - ‘Bachelor!’ WANTED TO SAVE THE HORSES. The cavalry instructor was lecturing severely a particularly wooden-headed recruit. ' . ‘ How many times have I got to tell you,’ he asked, ‘ never to approach horses from the rear without speaking to them? One of these day they will be kicking you on the head, and then we shall <s have a lot, of lame horses on our hands!’ COULD NOT ARREST HIM. Do you see that man over there?’ he world-famous detective spoke in a low whisper, and his friend looked quickly round, scenting a mystery. ‘ Yes,’ he replied, just as cautiously. ‘ Well, he’s a professional forger.’ ‘Then why don’t you arrest him?’ asked the friend, in surprise. The world-famous detective grinned agjgravatingly. ‘Can’t!’ he said, briefly. ‘lt’s not breaking the law to make horse-shoes.’ • THE CAUSE OF DEATH. A city man went for a day’s shooting and, rigged out in a corduroy fhxit, double-peaked cap, leggings, and other picturesque paraphernalia, engaged a small country boy as guide. The two were greatly astonished when a rabbit jumped out from behind a log, looked about, and dropped as if dead. . 4 There isn’t a mark on it!’ exclaimed the sportsman. 1 ■r- . . 4 No,’ replied the boy. 4 I guess he must have laughed himself to death.’ HIS FACE WAS FAMILIAR. This war is responsible for some strange situations. A certain stately dowager had rather a shock, the other

day at a dinner party. She was ■ seated next a man who ’mad© himself ;; agreeable. ; Suddenly she ■ said, ‘Your face is very familiar. Where have I met you ?’ ‘Well/ said he,: perfectly self-possessed* ‘ I was once 5 your ladyship’s coachman; Circumstances' have changed ; I am now a Government contractor for horses.’ DID NOT UNDERSTAND. In a railway carriage recently two men were talking rather loudly. ‘ Lord French is very sick,’ one of them observed. / Yes,’ said the other, ‘ so is the Marchioness of Powys, but the Duchess of Cleveland is getting on famously. The Earl of Rosebery seems to be dwindling away. I can’t make it out/ When they left the carriage a passenger remarked to a friend that these two, fellows seemed anxious to impress the company with the fact that they were acquainted with every one in Burke’s Peerage. Peerage be biowed!’ he said rudely; ‘they were talking about dahlias.’ BOYS WHO DID BIG THINGS. Some of the greatest achievements in the world have been made by youth. David, the sweet singer of Israel, was a shepherd, a poet, and a general before he was twenty years of gae, and a king at the age of twenty-one. Raphael had practically completed his life’s work at the age of thirty-five. He did no great artistic work after that age. James’ Watt, even as a boy, as he watched the steam coining out of the tea-kettle, saw in it the new world of mechanical power which has followed the discovery of the power of steam. Cortes was master of Mexico before he was thirtysix. Schubert died at the age of thirty-one, after having composed what is considered one of the 'most entrancing melodies ever written. Charlemagne was master of France and the greatest emperor of the world at the age of thirty. Shelley wrote Queen „I lab when he was only twenty-one and was a master of poetry before he was twenty-five. Patrick Henry was able to shape the revolutionary history of a new country before he was thirty, and astonished the world by his oratory before he was twenty-six years old. At the age of twenty-four Ruskin had written Modern Painter ,s-, and Bryant, while still a boy of the high school, wrote TJinnafopstlx, a masterpiece in itself. WHY HE WANTED HIM. It was the first night of a new play, ‘ I say,’ remarked the author to the manager, ‘ that scene-shifter over there is a most peculiar-looking fellow.’ ‘ Yes; he’s an Eskimo/ said the manager. ‘An Eskimo! What on earth made you take him on V ‘ Oh, I thought it would be a comfort to see one happy face if the play turns out to be a frost !’ . ONE WAY OF SETTLING. Three commercial travellers meeting at an hotel one winter evening had a hearty supper together. Supper over, the three found some difficulty in allotting their respective shares in the bill, but one of them at length cut short the dispute by proposing that whoever had the ‘oldest name’ among them should go free, the expenses being halved by the other two. This amendment being promptly accepted. No. 1 produced a card inscribed ‘ Richard Eve/ which No. 2 trumped with ‘Adam Brown.’ Then No. 3, a portly veteran with humorous grey eyes, laid down his card with the quiet confidence of a great general making a decisive movement, and remark, with a chuckle ‘I don’t much think you’ll beat this ’un, gents.’ / And he was right, for the name was ‘ Mr. B. (Ginning/

RISING TO THE OCCASION. ~ ~ One battalion of >the local Territorials had challenged another to a sham fight.;;- I ; The defenders took possession of . a magnificent V) position on a cinder heap overlooking the six-fee t-wide river. To make themselves secure, they ‘ blew ’ up the only bridge, by simply posting up a notice to say they - had done so. " -> Imagine, then, their indignation when they saw the enemy calmly crossing the bridge, every man holding his rifle over his head with one arm, and waving the other frantically in front of him. Here, I say, you know called out the captain of the defenders, angrily, ‘you can’t cross that bridge ! Cant you see it’s supposed to -be blown up?’ ‘That’s all right,’ replied the attacking sergeant, calmly. ‘We’re not crossing the bridge. Can’t you see we’re supposed to be swimming?’ ZONES AND GENDERS. While inspecting examination papers recently, a teacher found various humorous answers to questions, A class of boys, averaging twelve years of age, had been examined in geography. The previous" day had been devoted to grammar. Among the geographical questions was the following: ‘ Name the zones.’ One promising youth, who' had mixed the two subjects, wrote: ‘There are two zones, masculine and feminine. The masculine is either temperate or intemperate ; the feminine is either torrid or frigid !’ BILL WAS CONSCIENTIOUS. ‘Bill had charge of the animal tent,’ said the old circus man, ‘ and among his pets was a leopard, the only one we had with the show, and quite enough too. inis leopard gave Bill more trouble than all the rest of the menagerie put together. It was certainly an ugly brute. ‘ Well, one day, when we were showing in the Midlands, I had come up to London to arrange about some advance business. I was eating my dinner in the ■ hotel when a telegram was handed to me. It was from Bill, and read : “The leopard has escaped. Prowling about town. What shall I do?” * That was just like Bill. He had to have explicit directions, even in an emergency like this. He didn’t want to make a mistake. ‘I immediately wired back to Bill: “Shoot him on the spot.” I didn’t think any more about it until a couple of hours later, when I received another telegram from conscientious, careful Bill, asking:, “Which spot?” & . 1 LIMITED QUALIFICATION.’ Lady of the House : ‘ Listen, Charlotte, I am going to give a party: supper and a dance. Now, you will have to show what you can do, so as to keep up the credit of my establishment.’ Cook: ‘With pleasure, ma’am; but I can only dance the waltz and the polka ; you will have to excuse me from the quadrilles.’