MEN AND MARRIAGE.

New Zealand Tablet, 29 January 1914, Page 47

MEN AND MARRIAGE.

To THE EDITOR. Sir, —' Irish Parent' writes a very sensible letter. There are one or two remarks 1 would like to correct. She says it is a lonely thing to go through this world and never get married. 1 for one who has never married, say it is not lonely. If one does good to others, if he or she lives a right Catholic life, they can save their own souls and help to save others. Then she says : ' What are they to do—they must wait to be asked.' To that I say they can ask of God to direct them the right way. Then if you cannot get a Catholic husband or get a Catholic wife, it is more creditable to yourselves and better for others not to marry at all.—l am, etc., A Man Who Came from Ireland. To the Editor. Sir, —In your recent issues there have appeared some letters on the marriage question. One by a mere man, who modestly signs himself 'Be Fair,' puts tho blame on women, and one by a woman blames the men. These represent the two apparently most intcrestcc • parties declaiming at one another, ' It's all your fault.' Another is by a parent, who chivalrously puts the blame on her own kind, and still another by a priest who backs her up. It would appear from these that the parents are to blame. I think myself the priests could do a little more. They are leading the more perfect life, having taken the priestly vows, and dedicated themselves to the service of God and the uplifting of humanity. ' Sacerdos ' says nearly all t*he men and nil the girls desire to get married. I don't agree with him. PerTiaps we don't know our own minds, being mere women. Although we think we don't want to give up our independence and tie ourselves for life to that incarnation of selfishness, the modern young man, we really may want to. I would suggest that in every parish there be started matrimonial bureaus, and see if they are rushed by aspirants for matrimonial honors. In the event of not being rushed some time might profitably be spent in convincing the misguided maidens that they don't know their own minds. This, of course, is only my suggestion. Seeing that the marriage rate is declining, if the clergy cannot help matters a little they may find the situation serious. —I am, etc., On TnE Shelf. January 19. To the Editor. Sir, —I have read with muxvn interest the correspondence that has appeared in your columns on the subject of ' Men and Marriage,' and, speaking as a young and periiaps a confirmed bachelor (not quite sure about the latter) I would like to give my opinions for what they are worth. To my mind people do not marry, firstly: Because the man is not plucky enough to face the trials and tribulations of married life unless he is earning something like £5 a week, or unless he is in a position lo provide a girl with . a home equal to the one to she has been accustomed. In other cases, certain girls, who work seven hours a day over a typewriter or at dressmaking, do. not prove suitable companions for marriageable men, unless the said men are in a position to afford" Them all the luxuries that they have been accustomed to in their parents' home. As one who has met a lot of city girls I might say that the average type-writing girl or the dressmaking girl for that matter, ' is absolutely impossible as 'a mother and the head of a domestic household. So what is a man to do Either ho must be in a position ■ to employ a cook and housemaid, or else endure a great

deal of unnecessary inconvenience and hardship early in his career, and this is not conducive to happiness, or prosperity. The average girl does not appear to realise her position in that she must act as a companion throughout the long years; that she must work hand-in-hand, and share all the hardships inseparable from married life, and that she must make the bread-winner's position as light as possible, and that the first few years of married life is practically a period of self-denial. As regards the parents' share in this controversy, it is quite true that a large number object to their daughters 'keeping company' even with quite eligible young men, and the idea of a girl asking a young man to her parents' house is often directly discouraged. Often, if the young fellow just simply ' bowls along ' to see his lady-love, the reception he gets is often of a very lukc-warm character. Young men are not in quite the same position, for rarely does a fellow ask his lady friend to his parents' house (why, I do not know), and often the man's family do not know with whom he is 'keeping company.' A whole lot of the fault of 'why men do not marry,' therefore, lies with the parents. In the first place they do not give their girls a thorough domestic training that will properly fit them for their life's work, and in tne second place they do not show enough interest in the subject as to whether their children are ever married or not. This little screed coming from a young unmarried man will perhaps not carry a great deal of weight, but the opinions expressed arc certainly the result of my observations during the past few years.—l am, etc., J.C.G.M. Christchurch.