All Sorts

New Zealand Tablet, 23 February 1911, Page 358

All Sorts

Bricklayer (to mate, who had just had a hodful of bricks fall on his feet): “ Drop’d ’em on yer toe! That’s nothin’. Why, I seen a bloke get killed stone dead, an’ ’e never made such a terrible fuss as you’re doin’.”

‘ This beetle-paste I purchased here doesn’t seem to kill the beetles at all.’

‘ Ah ! you see, madam, the properties of this preparation are not to kill the beetles at once, but to undermine their constitutions.’

1 This,’ remarked Mr. Cane, ‘is my photograph with my two French poodles.. You recognise me ?’ ‘ I think so,’ said Miss Coffee. ‘ You are the one with the hat on, are you not?’

‘ I understand some of your hens have stopped laying?’ —‘Two of them have.’ —‘Ah, you don’t feed ’em right!’ ‘No; it wasn’t that. It was a motor car.’

Farmer on board a steamer (suffering a good deal from the rolling of the vessel), to friend: This capt’n doesn’t understand his business. Why don’t he keep in the furrows

‘ This bell,’ said a well-meaning sexton, when showing the belfry of an interesting village church to a party of visitors, ‘ is only rung in case of a visit from the Governor, a fire, a flood, or any other such calamity.’

‘ Why do you always put a pitcher of water and a glass on the table before an orator ‘ That,’ said the chairman of many reception committees, ‘is to give him something to do in case he forgets his piece and has to stop and think.’ The largest theatre is the Paris Opera House, covering three acres; the largest bronze statue, that of Peter the Great, in St. Petersburg, weighing, 1100 tons. The biggest stone statue is in Japan, 44 feet high; the largest college is in Cairo, with over 10,000 students and 310 teachers. Damascus has the honor of being the-'oldest city.

Wagner, writing in 1846, said of Schumann : I He is a highly-gifted musician, but an impossible man. When I came from Paris I went to see him. I told him of my Parisian experiences, spoke of the state of music in France, then of that in Germany, spoke of literature and politics, but he remained as good as dumb for nearly an hour. One cannot go on talking quite alone. An impossible man!’ Schumann gave an account of this interview, which practically agrees with that of Wagner: ‘ I have seldom met Wagner,’ he said, ‘ but he is a man of education and . spirit. He. talks, however, unceasingly, and that one cannot endure for long together.’

The vicar and his family had endured, uncomplainingly the inflictions of Miss Pry, the bore of the neighbourhood. Finally the vicar’s stock of patience was exhausted, and he made himself scarce, manlike, leaving the burden of the ordeal to his wife.

One day recently _ Miss Pry called, and the clergyman, in the pensive seclusion of his study, read along for two hours, when his appetite told him it was luncheon time. He arose to call downstairs, and as he opened the door his wife’s voice floated upward with an odd intonation. ‘Luncheon is ready!’ she said. ‘All right,’ he replied; ‘and is that bore gone?’ ‘Yes, dear,’ sweetly responded the vicar’s wife; ‘but Miss Pry is here and will take luncheon with us.’

Pearl oysters live in tropical seas on clean, sandv bottoms from 15 to 20 fathoms down. The strong cord which is thrown out between the hinges of its shell anchors the mollusc to coral masses or to other shells. There are the creatures which for centuries have furnished oriental pearls, the desire of kings and millionaries and collectors. From the spot where it is anchored, the oyster never moves until it is wrenched away by the hand of'the diver. Only one shell in a thousand contains a gem of any value. Pearl fisheries are scattered all over the equatorial seas, and thousands of men are engaged in diving for the pearlbearing molluscs. In Ceylon there are ten fisheries, all worked under Government control. No less than 5000 •boats manned by divers work every summer in the Persian Gulf. Australian fisheries produce small but exceedingly brilliant pearls, the Pacific Islands are famous the world over for their gems, Tahiti being the centre from which these are exported. The white seed pearls from the Red Sea and the Persian Gulf go to market at Bagdad, while Bombay distributes the yellowish pearls preferred by Hindus. The pearl fishery at Bahreini, on the Persian Gulf, is busiest in the spring season. The divers bring their families, and build huts of palm and bamboo. Boats carrying 15 to 20 men go daily to the banks which lie under 10 or 12 fathoms of water. The diver is naked, his body rubbed with oil. _ His nose and ears are stuffed with cotton. He carries a knife to fight off sharks and to' loosen the oysters, and wears a basket fastened round his neck. Tied to his feet is a bar with a weight at either end. He remains under water about two minutes, and brings up about 75 oysters. He will dive on an average about fifty times a day.