All Sorts

New Zealand Tablet, Volume XXXVII, Issue 4, 28 January 1909, Page 158

All Sorts

- ' The longest day ' in Norway lasts from May 21 to " 'July 22 without^ interruption. ~ ■ ' - More women attain the age of 50 than men, but afterwards ,the men have the best of it. Electric wires are used in some parts of India " as a safeguard against the poisonous snakes who may feel disposed to enter the dwelling-Jhouses. V Few- tillers' of the soil live a harder life than the Scottish 'crofter.; and only his dogged pertinacity enables him to extract a living from his little holding. Jimmie: 'My ma's gone down-town to pay some bills.' Toinmie : ' Pooh ! The man comes to the' house to collect' ours!' - ■ "-- ' Well, my little man,' said .a visitor to the son of 'his host, 'what do you do in school' all day?' ' I wait' till it's time to go home, sir!' The Salesman : ' Madame, we are .selling this material for just what' we paid for it.' Old Lady : ' And you've the face to think I'm goin' to help you out of a bad bargain!' ' I am speaking,' said a long-winded orator, ' for the benefit of posterity.' ' Yes,' said one of his hearers, ' and if you keep on much longer your audience will be here.' > ' And how do yoTTlike journalists ?' he asked the little - maid in a most condescending tone of voice: . ' I don't know,' she replied, artlessly ; ' the only one I know is the - "one who brings our paper every morning.' • . American Lady : ' Your family -has been' - settled in England for -a long time,' I- presume?' Aristocratic Briton: - ' Yes; .they came over with the Normans.'. American Lady: ' Is. that so ? I have heard of the Normans ; *they own -half , of the Chicago stockyards.' A veterinary surgeon pronounced _ a hunter to be afflicted with an incurable disease. - \ i ' What had I better do?' asked the owner of his groom. ' Well; sir,' .was the reply, ' conscientiously speaking, -I ' should part with him to another gentleman.' The mother of a conscientious little miss, wishing to rid her of the fear of some cows in a field through which she had to pass, told her to go right by and pretend she didn't see them. ' But, mamma,' protested the small maid, ' wouldn't - that be deceiving the cows?' ~ ' This watch will last a lifetime,' said the jeweller, as he handed the watch to the customer. 'Nonsense!' retorted the other ; ' can't I see for myself that its hours are numbered ?' ' This is an age of steel,' said the after-dinner speaker. ' Permit me to suggest,' interrupted the chairman courteously, ' that for the benefit of the reporters present you spell that last word.' " . A party of travelling men in a Sydney hotel were one day boasting of the business done by their respective firms, when one of the travellers said : ' No house in the country, I am proud to say, has more men and women pushing its line of goods than mine.' ' What do you sell ?' he was asked. 'Perambulators,' shouted the traveller as he fled from the room. The city of Palermo, Sicily, has established several municipal bakeries, which keep the price of bread within the^reach of the poorer class. In London, 800,000,000 eggs are consumed yearly, which weigh 60,000 tons, and cost the eaters £4,uuu,000. An acre of good fishing ground will yield "more food in a week than an acre of the best land will in a year. • More than 1000 people in Paris earn a living by for-tune-telling. Their joint income is said to amount to £400,000. - " In meditating on the - terrible calamity involved in the Italian earthquakes (says a correspondent of the Melbourne Advocate), I am reminded that this is the 70th anniversary of the great Irish storm on the Twelfth Night, 6th January, 1839, the most eventful climatic incident, perhaps, for centuries. It occurred on a Sunday evening, beginning at about 9 o'clock. The force of the wind was so great that the Atlantic waves were lashed into spray and carried inland for many miles like rain, and appeared next morning like a whitish coat of salt on the bushes. The forests of the country in many cases were demolished. Heavy trees were uprooted, and large bnesr broken from ten to twenty, feet above ground. Houses were levelled all over the country, hay and corn stacks blown away like feathers.