The Retort Courteous

New Zealand Tablet, Volume XXXIV, Issue 25, 21 June 1906, Page 1

The Retort Courteous

No ' reproof valiant ' or ' countercheck quarrelsome ' oould have been half so effective in resenting an offence against good taste as was a ' retort courteous ' that was administered at last week's meeting of the Taieri Burns Club. On the evening's programme there was a poetic recitation by a stranger. Unknown to the Club committee, it contained a veise to which the many Catholics present would naturally take exception. .The poem represents an aged Scottish dame reading an amusing record of the world's strange inventions. At the end of each, came like a refrain the ancient dame's comment : ' Do<l, that beats a' ! ' Finally came a verse

which told how the Cardinals met in Rome, made the Pope infallible, and declared his word to be the word of God. "Whereon the old grandani commented as usual : 1 Dod, that beats a' ! ' * At the close of the proceedings the chairman invited a priest who was present to propose a vote of thanks to the performers. He did so in happy terms. In the _course of his remarks he complained, however, "that the performer referred to above, had omitted one verse of hia piece. And this verse the Father (being a ready rhymer) supplied in this wise :— 4 Then she read o' a Clutj on the far Taicr-ee, That meets whiles, o' nichts, for enjoyment, ye see, An' a Papist, ye ken, mon, a member may be, If Jie pays his subscription, juist live a " Wee Free." But ah ! when she read At the Club things were sajd That made the puir Papists feel raw, She scratched her auld head, And tae hersel' Paid : " Dod, that beats a' ! " ' • In its substance— and still more, perhaps, in the smiling manner of its delivery— this poetic sally was a complete success. ' Ridentem dicere verum Quid vetat ? ' There is no reason why one may not tell a truth or convey a rebuke with a smile lighting up his face. The large non-Catholic element in the Club appreciated both the justice of the rebuke and the gentle and original, yet effective, manner in which it was administered.