AN ATTEMPT TO CONVERT A PRIEST. AND HOW IT ENDED.

New Zealand Tablet, Volume XXVII, Issue 14, 6 April 1899, Page 28

AN ATTEMPT TO CONVERT A PRIEST. AND HOW IT ENDED.

Thb following amusing: story is told in the Paulist magazine, the Missionary, by one of the Fathers engaged in the work of missions to non-Catholics :—: — ' Alter one of my lectures I was asked to visit a non-Catholic stricken with paralysis and nigh unto death. It was a journey of sixteen miles by buggy. I found the man in a condition of doubtful consciousness and gave him conditional Baptism and Extreme Unction. . , ' After administering the sacraments I said to the sick man b son-in-law, who was a Catholic, " Joel, how did you become a Catholic ? ' Now Joel is a typical Tar-Tarheel farmer, one eye out, a scant gray beard, and an earnest face. As I spoke Joel's eye twinkled, his face brightened, and he exclaimed : " Lor bless you, Father, its the richest thing you ever hearn tell on, and I'm just obleeged to laugh every time I think on it. Bless you, I became a Catholic by trying to convert the Catholic priest, and it happened at this here very house whar twenty-five year ago I had come to try and turn my poor old father-in-law (who is there almost a dying now) agin the Church. You see I war raised in the Hard Shell Baptist Church, and my poor ignorant father, who was a Primitive Baptist preacher, taught me to hate Catholics worse nor pizen. I was true to his teaching and was baptised by him when I Ifrowed up, and in time became a deacon, and was sure proud of it. I thought 1 knowed Scriptur as well as any man in the whole country, and I was the most argyfjing man that could be found. Well, when I seed the Catholic Church coming down in this here country, I said to myself, ' Joel, now is your time to fight like Lee and Jackson.' And hen I bt-ixl my own family a-leaning that a-wuy to the Catholics blt-^s yon, my bottoaiest blood riz ! 'Joel,' f»aul I to my^'lf. 'go in.' And I went. I knowed the Catholic priest was a-comin' down this way on thii here very road, and I made up my mind to l'o to the bottome-t bottom and settle the whole thing by converting the priest' Down I came here with a page of tooltip and a pencil, and ppent tho morniu' writing out tests a<rin ldol.itry and a worshipping ot imaged and a-payn>g money for sins to be torgiven and not allowing the Scriptures to be read and all the other lie* agin the Church. I tried to get a iriend to btand to my back, but he lett me and went oft".

KNOCKED OTl' Illh LEUS.

' " With my paper in my hand. I stood iv the road awaiting 1 for the priest and soon he came. " Hello !" says I, " air you the Catholic priest ?" " I am," bays he. '• Well," says I, " I have come to show you the wickedness ot the doctrine you are apreaching and parvarting the Lord's own creatures agin all Scriptur "— and with that I read off to him my text, but he only smiled. "My good man," says he "did you ever read a Catholic book?" '-Why, no," says I; "come to think of it. I don't believe 1 have. The fack truth is, father that in them days I would have as soon picked up a live rattlesnake as a Catholtc book." " Have you ever heard,' continued the priest, "a Catholic explain Catholic doctrine?" "No,' said I. '• I thought not," said he ; " Catholics don't teach what you think. Here is a catechism which will explain Catholic doctrine. Now," continued he, " what Church do you belong to?" " Why, I am a Hard Shell Baptist," said I. " Well what is the creed of your Church ?" said he. ' The Lor' bless you, father, he knocked my legs completely fram under me by that question. I ain't never hearn tell on such a thing- as a creed in the Baptist Church and I seed I iust didn't know nothing.' i 1 And none o' you," said Joel, twinkling his one eye on his Protestant friends present, " ever hearn of such a thing nuther." " And what !" says I, " Mr. Priest, ain't the Primitives the oldest and first church?' "Read that, says he, showing me a history with the ages of the different churches. " Did I never 1" said I. " The fack truth is, Mr. Priest, I thought the Primitives was the oldest and first church; but if they ain't, I don't want 'em, and if yours is the drat and true Church, it is mine, too !"

' " With that he offered to instruct me, which he did. I entered the Church and here I am to-day, twenty-five years after my conversion thanking God for my attempt to convert the priest, and bringing the priest to the dying bedside of my poor old iather-in-l avv he whom I tried to turn agin' the church." ' As Joel finished, I gave him some necessary directions in case his father-in-law should recover full consciousness, and I then returned home I did not, however, feel easy, and after several days again returned to my patient. This time I found him fully con-

sciouß. I asked him whether he had realised having received the sacraments, and he answered " No."

A THEOLOGICAL QUERY.

' " Then," said I, " Mr. D , would you like me to baptize you achjtfifjuid receive you into the Church 1 " "I don't kyeer," he repliakc " I am not sure I understood you," I said ; " please tell me plainly." " I don't kyeer," he again answered. I was puzzled. If he had said yes, I would have known what to do ; or if he had answered no, my way would have been plain ; but I don't kyeer ! — what would you have done, gentle reader ? I resolved to tackle him again.

: " Mr. D ," said I, "you are very sick and have only a short time to live." " I spec I'm very low," said he. " You are," I replied, " and now is the time for you to prepare to meet God. You know what the Catholic Church is and the necessity of baptism. I wish you to tell me plainly whether you desire baptism and to be received into the Church. Now, do you really wish to be baptised ? " " I do," said he. " And will you promise to live ever after as a good Catholic, keeping all the laws of the Church ? " "I will," he answered. I thereupon gave him the rites of the Church and prepared him for death.

4 In a few days he died, and I was requested to preach his funeral from the house.'