COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE IN IRELAND.

New Zealand Tablet, Volume XXVII, Issue 5, 2 February 1899, Page 20

COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE IN IRELAND.

HOW MARRIAGES ARE MADE IN IRELAND. l Michael MacDonagh, in an article on ' Love Making in Ireland,' Bays : A song called ' The sprig of shillelagh,' which has become very popular with the Irish peasantry since it was written, close on a ceutury ago, says : ' Love is the soul of a neat Irishman, He loves all that's lovely and loves all he can.' And yet, though there seems to exist a widespread impression that strong, passionate, masterful love is a characteristic of the Irish temperament, love making in Ireland is really a very calm and placid business, and the old song 1 have quoted notwithstanding, the average Irish peasant takes unto himself a mate with as clear a head, as placid a heart, and as steady a nerve as if he were buying a cow at Ballinasloe fair. Love by no means decides all the marriages that are made in Ireland. The match is often made in a ludicrously cool, businesslike and mercenary fashion between the parents of the ' boy ' and 1 girl,' the young people themselves not being allowed, and, indeed, not expecting any voice in the matter. But if thire is little romance in the origin of most of the matrimonial contracts made in rural Ireland, they are, as a rule, entirely successful. The marriages thu9 prosaically arranged are as happy as happy can be. Pat and Mary fall fondly in love with each other after they are made husband and wife ; children quickly spring up around their hearth, and the older they grow the more passionately do they cling to each other. Their domestic felicity is rarely, if ever, disturbed by jealousy, for Pat makes the faithfullest of husbands, and Mary the FONDEST AND TRUEST OF WIVES, and as there is little or no illicit passion, the crimes which spring from that source and make desolate so many homes in other countries are almost unknown in Ireland. A favourite proverb of the Irish peasantry in regard to matrimony is : ' Either marry very young or become a monk very young.' Early marriages are the rule in Ireland, and the poorest marry the earliest. And yet many of the Irish poor enter into matrimony as a sort of provident investment for old age. A very intelligent Irish peasant once said to me : ' A poor man ought to marry young, that his children may be able to assist him when he grows old.' When Pat and Biddy begin housekeeping their little cabin is soon filled with children, and the more their flock increases the more they say : ' Shure, the childer will be a support to us in our ould age.' And, happily, this investment for old age never fails them. In no country in the world is the affection between children and parents so strong : in no country in the world is the duty of children to provide for their aged parents held so sacred as in' Ireland. Four generations may be seen in many of the poorest cabins in the West — the children, the young father and mother, the grandparents and an ancient grandmother or great-grand f either. The large hums of money which have been annually sent by children in the colonies and in America to parents in Ireland during the past half century are another striking demonstration of this intense filial affection. But, happily, many of the marriages in rural Ireland have THEIR SPICE Or ROMANCE. The match is made by the boy and girl themselves. An Irish peasant maid in the heyday of her youth, with her pretty figure, her abundant black hair, her large blue eyes, with ibe.ir indescribable half arch, hall shy expression, is quite irresistible ; and the boy has too often an imprea-ionable heart and a ' deludhermg tongue to render it always necessary that the parents should make the bargain.' The youthful couples meet at dances or on Sundays after Mass even a wake is turned to account for a little courting — and they are in hearty accord with the boy who said : ' It is a great plea«ure entirely t-> be alone, especially when yer sweetheart is wid ye.' Yes, they have the flattering tongue, those Iri->h boys. ' Oeh, I wish I was in gaol for stealin' ye,' wai the oomphment one of them paid to a pretty colleen. Even when they get a refusal they have a 'soft word 'to say. Eileen was engaged to another boy. and so she had to bay no to Tim when he asked her. ' Wisha, thin,' said Tim, with a sigh. ' I wish you'd been born twins, so that I cud have half of you.' The girls in Ireland can afford just as well, if, indeed, not better than the gain of any other country to take up an independent position in regard to matrimony, for the proportion they bear to the males is not so large in Ireland as in other lands. When the day has been named, whether by arrangement between the boy and girl themselves or through the intermediary of their parents, preparations are made on the most extensive scale for a grand wedding. It is considered essential in the humblest circles that, for the honour of the family, the guests at the wedding, which include sometimes the wnole of the countrywide, should have lots of eating and drinking — ' lashin's and lavin's of everything.' Closeness on such an occasion is the unforgivable social sin. A PRETTY IRISH SERVANT MAID, who had got married, called to see her mistress. ' I hear you are going to Australia with your hu^bani, Kitty,' said the lady. ' Are you not afraid ot such a long voyage /' ' Well, ma'am, that's his lookout,' said Kitty. ' I belong to him now, an' if anything happens to me, shure it'll be his loss, not mine.' But ihere is not always that complete lo j >' of the wife's identity in the husband which the above anecdote suggests. It is the wife that rules the household in rural Ireland. The husband surrenders to her all his earnings, to the uttermost farthing ; an excellent arrangement for Pat, who, feeling the money burning in his pocket, as he says himself, is disposed to get rid <v it rapidly ; and a still mure excellent arrangement for the sake of the children. Bridget is, indeed, Pat's guardian

angel. On many a Saturday, when a boy in Limerick, have I seen the long line of country cars returning homeward from market in the dusk of the summer evenings, the wives driving and the husbands, with a 'drop taken, 1 perhaps, quietly in the straw behind. Having such happy homes and faithfal wives, is it any wonder that Irishmen are loath to leave them behind 1 An Irish car-driver was wrapping himself up carefully before starting on a journey on a cold winter's day. ' You seem to be taking very good care of yourself,' said the impatient fare. 'To be sure I am, sir,' replied the driver. ' What's all the world to a man when his wife's a widow V