THE RIGHT SORT OF A SERVANT GIRL.

New Zealand Tablet, Volume XXIII, Issue 33, 13 December 1895, Page 27

THE RIGHT SORT OF A SERVANT GIRL.

(By J. T. P. O'Aleaka.)

My friend, Ctnrlie Fitzroy, was one of the best hearted fellows you coi\ld,meet. He had a comfortable horn-, a devoted wife, a family of children, troops of friends, and a handsome income And yet he was not happy. Twice within twelve month his villa had been broken into and ransacked by burglars, who had abstracted sundry heirlooms in the shape oE the family plate, aod some old-fashioned jewellery which he highly prized, and the loss of which caused him much mortification. The thieves had effected entrance through windows carelessly left unlatched by hia servant maids — a dereliction of duty on their part which brought about its punishment in the shape of instant dismissal. "If I could only get a good reliable servant," thought Fitzroy, " I should indeed be supremely happy."

Toe day after hia second unpleasant experience he fell ia with an old acquaintance of his, Mr Mulligan, a genial County Cork man, to whom he b 2 wai lei bia misfortunes, and whom he asked to recommend him sonu reliable woman who would lake an interest in her business and protect his property. "Of courae lean help you," said mulligan, to whose ea^y-going n»ture everything was possible. "If you want a g'jod aad trustworthy girl, get a raw new-chum Irish-woman, trail) her up yourself, and I'll be bound you'll never have cause for further complaint." He followed tbis up with a lecture as long aa your arm, in which he dwel r , as only a man who has kissed the Blarney Stone I can, on the infinite variety cf merit possessed by the Irish io general, and tha new-chum servant girl in particular. Fitzroy being in a quandary, gladly fell in with the suggestion. Accompanied by Mulligan, he proceeded to a registry office, where they were fortunate enough to meet with the very article required ia the shape of a strapping girl, with a head of hair that set at defiance the efforts of comb and brush to subdue it into modern fashion, and * face which, though pleasant and good-humoured, was disfigured by a veritable archipelago of freckles. Terms were Boon struck, and that night Bridget arrived at her new home. Fitzroy was not at all charmed with his bargain at first. In walking about the house she made aa much noise as a regiment of soldiers, and, moreover, she did everything so awkwardly and broke so much crockery, &c, that at first both he and his wife thought they would ntver be able to pat up with her. Bat her good nature conquered everything. Nothing came amiss to her. She never replied to a cross word, always admitted her off jnces, was ever pleasant, and the children idolised her. To guard against further visits from the enterprising burglars, Bridget received strict injunctions to see tbat the doors and windows were securely festened each night, and for a couple of weeks Fitzroy watched her closely, but without finding any neglect of those specific duties. By degrees, however, Bridget grew careles3 of this special work, although she had improved greatly in every other way, and when Fitzroy made the discovery he resolved to give her a fright that would be a lesson to her in the future. As after events will show, Fitzroy was sadly out in his calculations. In his salad days he had been an amateur actor of some merit and he still possessed a variety of the costumes, wigs, moustaches, beardf, &c, that he used to u*e in the performances. One night he disguised himself as a burglar, and s ealthily approached the open kitchen window. Bridget was sitting over the fire, witb her feet on the hob, m'ently engaged in conning over some item of news in the evening newepaper. " Now," thought Fitzroy, "is my chance." He mounted the sill aa roiselessly as a cat, and springiog into the kitchen, rushed up to Bridget, ami clapping his hands smartly on her shoulder, told her in a most de ermined voice that if she budged an inch or said one word he would blow her brains out, The effect produced, however, was quite different to what Fitzroy hal anticipated. Bridget hailei from Limerick, and history tells us how the women from that quarter can fight. She was on her feet in an instant, and before one could utter the proverial "Jack Robinson '• she hid swung a chair high in the air and brought it down full weight on Fitzroy's heid, with the result that he lay at her feet quite stupifidd from the blow. She kept over his prostrate body ready at any moment to repeat the stroke and it was then, as he becan to recover, that he rea.ised that he had reckoned without his host. •'Bridget," said he, quite humbly, '-it was only a joke I was playing nn you." "Joke, d'yez call it," exclaimed Bridget, "staling into a gentilman's house. If ye move an inch, >c apalpeen, I'll brain ye." Ia vaia Fitzroy expostulated. His disguise was so perfect thtt Bnd^'t could discern no trace of her employer, and believed him to be nothing else than an iuterlop»r. He wa-J s ; stupid from the effjeta of the blow that he had Dot sense enough to tell her who be was. Ha dared not makj any attempt to remove the disguise, for he was afraid to move lest Bridget would kill him. And so be lay at the feet of his servant for fully ten minutes. To all his prayers and entreaties Bridget paid no heed. Suddenly he thought of a ruae to distraot her attention. "Look at the r-»t 1" he exclaimel, pointing brihiud her. The effect was magical, la an instant Bridget jumpei oa the table, for whoever knew » woman, no mitter how brave otherwise, who could face even a mou-e. At the same instant Fitz'oy rose from the floor and made for the window. He hid just reachei there when Bridget made a violent lounge at him with a potato masher, caught him a clout fair on the head, and left him a senseless form oa the kitchen floor. This time she thought she had really killed him, so she rushed up . stairs to her employer's bedroom, at the door of which she rapped vigorously, crying out in a loud and agitated voice, " Masther I Masther 1 Git up 1 I've kilt a burglar 1 I've kilt a burglar 1" Mrs Pitzroy, who was unaware of the joke her husband intended i playing on Bridget, was much alarmed, and ran down in her dishabille, only to find her darling husband sitting on bis haunches and gazing

•tupidly about him. His false wig and beard had fallen off in the last encounter, and a email stream of blood was running down his f -ce. " Are yon hurt, my love ?" tenderly naked Mrs Fitiroy. " Hart 1" he ejaculated. " Hurt I did you say ? If I could only hear the drnms boating I'd swear I was on tbe field of battle."

The Fitzroy family did not go to be<l until the early hours of the m rning. Mr Fitzroy 's head was swathed in cloths of cold water, which Bridget moieeded every now and then with her tears.

Poor girl I She expected to ba bundled off without ceremony next morninp, and her brave spirit almost quailed at the thought that she had near y murdered the bast of masters aud had ruined her reputation for ever.

When Fitzroy recovered next day next day, like the true gentleman that he is, be called Bridget into hie study, and apologised to her for frightening her. "I only got what 1 deserved," he said, quite demurtly. " Mrs Fitzroy will rise your wages, and I hope you'll stay with is until you get some one to take you to a house of your own. You're a brick really, Bridget — a regular Amazon. A clout from yon, my girl, is nearly equßl in force to a blow from a Nasymth hammer.

Bridget is still with the Fiizroys, and is as happy as tbe day is long. Mr Fitzroy does not bother his head about the doors and windows now ; he is quite satisfied to leave everything to Bridget, and right well she fulfills tbe trust.