THE GOOD NEIGHBOUR.

New Zealand Journal of Agriculture, Volume 66, Issue 3, 15 March 1943, Page 181

THE GOOD NEIGHBOUR.

“A LL . the world loves a lover,” so ' the saying goes, and in the same strain I would like to add “And all the world loves a bride.” So because there will be many Easter brides amongst you, I have planned this issue for brides-to-be! I hesitate to offer advice on the wisdom or otherwise of young folk marrying in war-time it is a question which can be decided only by the two concerned. But if you have made up your mind to marry the one you love, do not let present-day conditions interfere with your wedding preparations— him, and make your wedding day a thing of beauty and harmony that you will not easily forget. It takes courage to be a war-time bride, but because you have decided to be married at Easter, I would tell you of a war-time wedding which took place early in 1941. They were a young couple-she was twenty-two, and he was twenty-four. After a honeymoon that lasted two weeks the young husband went overseas, and some months later the wife learned that he would return no more. Yet as she told me her ■ story she smiled through her tears and said, “I wouldn’t have missed being married for anything. I will never forget him. We were divinely happy for those two weeks, and I have no regrets of happiness that could have been mine, but wasn’t.” And her words reminded me of two lines by the poet Longfellow: at least they were not true of this bride. “O lost days of delight, that were wasted in doubting, and waiting!. O lost hours and days in which we might have been happy!” Yet marriage must not be entered into lightly. I would like to share with you a piece from a book I enjoyed, entitled “The Girl’s Everyday Book.” “Romance often comes with so flashing a light that it blinds one’s eyes to the more steady and less brilliant fires. Many girls push on toward marriage before they have learned the zest for work, the give and take of play, and the joy of worship. They do not realise that to be enduring romance has to fasten on to the tough fibres of work and friendship and ideals They do not know that when it has only physical attraction on which to ■ feed, it burns out like a Roman candle. It is

“Do not keep the alabaster box of your love and tenderness sealed up until your friends are dead. Fill their lives with sweetness. Speak approving, cheering words while their ears can hear them, while their hearts can be thrilled and made happier. The kind things you mean to say when they are gone, say before they go.”— W. Childs. -x- * * ’ “I am bigger than anything that can happen to me. All these things, sorrow, misfortune, and suffering, are outside my door. I am in the house, and I have the key.” C. F. Lummis.

. “There is one in the world who feels for him who is sad a keener pang than he 'feels for himself; there is one to whom reflected joy is better than that which comes direct; there is one who loses all sense of self in the sentiment of kindness, tenderness, and devotion to another—that one is woman.” Washington Irving, *" * * “Child, shall I tell thee where Nature is most blessed and fair? It is where those we love abide. Though that space be small, ample is it above kingdoms; though it be a desert, through it runs the river of paradise, and there are the enchanted bowers.” — Ibn Ahmed Attar.

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not so long since we were taught to think that physical attraction between man and woman was an ugly thing in itself; Today we know that no human faculty or capacity is bad in itself, but there are desirable and undesirable expressions of every power we have. It is just because of the great place of physical attraction in the life of love, out of which has come all that is richest in human ' experience, that the misuse that prevents its fine flowering ' brings such disaster.” Marriage is not a thing of loosely knit sentiments and easy emotions; but a firmly woven texture of mutual faith and respect, quite superior to degrading suspicions and little jealousies and petty selfishness. It is a full-time job——three hundred and sixty-five days a year, with no holidays. But if you feel that the man you love will help you to make your marriage into everything that you desire from life, then I say go ahead. “If you have found the man with whom you can share things-your thoughts, your secrets, your dreams, your enthusiasms, and your

pastimes, the man with whom you are never bored, whether you are talking, dancing, or merely sitting in silence, the man who understands you, helps you to idealise yourself, cheers you on and gives life a real meaning for you—then you have at least found the ‘ideal’ man for you. That’s all that counts —why ask for more?” !■ ; Do you know that delightful verse by F. Bourdillon called “Night”? How true it is! “The night, has a 'thousand eyes, ■ And the day but ■ one .... Yet the light of the bright world dies' With the dying sun. ' The mind has a thousand eyes And the heart but one; Yet the light of a whole life dies When 'love is done f And so to every bride of this coming Eastertide I send my wishes for lasting happiness, and just one piece of advice: never lose sight of your sense of humour. The love that endures and outlasts even life itself is, the love that can, laugh -at thing, however big, however small. Whatever troubles may befall you—and you will encounter many as the days go don’t let them , » get the better of you. Keep smiling, mUrJyj and here’s luck! / / {J

ON BEING IN LOVE