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New Zealand Illustrated Sporting & Dramatic Review, 24 April 1913, Page 25

Says the “Bulletin”: —It is notorious that Victoria’s Licenses Reduction Board has improved the “temperance” aspect of social life by closing up unnecessary hotels, and those conducted in an unpleasant, undesirable, and sometimes illegal manner; that it is, in fact, doing more satisfactory work in one year than a dozen cold-tea fanatics could do in a score. Yet, one J. C. Martin —a parson, of course—now accuses it of “buttressing the trade by providing for seductive houses of entertainment.” Apparently Martin wants places like Scott’s, the Oriental, the White Hart, and Champion’s wiped out, and the frowsy, unkempt beershops that used to disgrace the “little” city streets and lanes left untouched. At the same time, he probably wonders why fai.-minded people have a whole-hearted contempt for the Wowser, and refuse to take him and his bowlings seriously.

Statistics which show the average consumption per head of tobacco in various countries during 1911 place New Zealand half-way down the list. Holland, with 6.921 b, occupies premiei position, followed by the United States, with 4.361 b. New Zealand, further down the list, is placed between New South Wales, 2.691 b, and Queensland, 2.651 b. Tasmania and South Australia - (Some next, with 2.301 b, and 2.141 b, respectively, above Victoria, with 2.021 b. The United Kingdom is credited with 1.411 b, and Russia ends the list with 1.231 b. The chief source of supply is the United States, which in 1910, out of a total of 2,0 5 3,00'0,0 001 b, produced 1,103,4a.0,0001b. Contrary to general opinion, Virginia is not the largest to-bacco-growing State in the Union, Kentucky, with 303,000,0001 b, producing more than twice as much as Virginia does. The ranks of the cig-arette-smokers continue to increase yearly, and the number of cigarettes on which tax was paid during the last fiscal year in the United States of America totalled 11,239,000,000, an increase of 1,984,000,000 over the preceding year.. New Zealand’s imports of tobacco for 1911 totalled 2,786,0001 b, on which duty to the amount of ££92,000 was paid.

The following little story is related in a London paper, which points a moral to our wowser friends. “Last summer a couple of Northampton L. V.s were having a brief holiday at Blackpool. On the sands was a “Stiggins,” fully equipped with tracts, umbrella, and wearing top hat with the black band, a white tie, etc. In a couple of seconds he was recognised as a teetotal lecturer, who had been trying to convince a crowd on the Northampton Market Square teat they would all go to hell if they did not give up whisky drinking. To make sure of their man one of the L.V.s said to the lecturer: “Excuse me, but aren’t you Mr. So-and-So?” ‘Yes,” responded Stiggins. “Well,” said the Northampton hotel proprietor, “I wish to thank you heartily for the advice you gave me as one of your crowd some years ago.” The abstainer, naturally thinking he had reformed the man, said: “Of course you signed the pledge after listening to my address. How pleased lam to hear it.” And then the tears ran down his florid cheeks. . Signed the pledge be hanged!” retorted the L.V. “No such thing. I had my place done up, got more business, banking account increased, and today I have all these,” pointing to his gold watch and chain, diamond pin, and rings, “And,” he added, “I have a cob at Northampton.” “Stiggins” tried to get a few words in, but the L.V. continued: “Don’t you remember saying, ‘Look at the publican, he can have his gold watch and chain, his diamond rings, and his fast-trotting cob’? Well, I say, I took your advice, I profited by it, and today I have all those, but at the same time I have given good value for money, paid up all Lloyd George’s unjust demands, and never gone out seeking customers or interfering with other peoples’ freedom.” —“Verb sap.”

Mr. “Wet”: “Allow me to congratulate you.” Mr. “Dry”: “What for?” Mr. “Wet”: “Oh, for just anything —the sunshine, the blue skies, the fact that you are up and about. Isn’t that something?” Mr. “Dry”. “No!” Mr. “Wet”: “Then congratulate me for not having a disposition Tike yours.”