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New Zealand Illustrated Sporting & Dramatic Review, Volume XX, Issue 1125, 2 November 1911, Page 23

“I see,” said Mr Smart, looking up from his paper, ‘that a man fell three hundred feet from a chimney, yesterday.'’ “Was he hurt?” inquired Mrs Smart. -Eh? Oh, no!” said Smart sarcastically. “But I believe complained of a slight headache.”

“Willie, why have you struck your little sister?” “It’s all aunt’s fault, mother. She said if I hit Mary she’d never kiss me again, and I wasn’t ,going to let a ■chance like that slip.”

“Before I propose, Miss Plainer, I must know if you have anything in the bank; ' •Yes, Mr Hunter. I have a sweetheart there; he’s the manager. We are to be married next month.”

Alphonso: “Gwendolyn, why are you so cruel as to keep me waiting for my answer? It is now ten minutes since I asked you to be my wife.” Gwendolyn: “Oh, pardon me, I forgot! I was simply choosing my bridesmaids!” , . ? ‘

“Tommy.’ you bad boy! You’ve eaten all three cakes. I told you you might have. ohe, ; not three!” “Yes, mother; but I didn’t know which ,one you meant, so I ate all of them to be sure T got the-right one.”

“I have here,”- said- the young inventor, “a device tha will be a boon to the typists.”