COOL.

New Zealand Illustrated Sporting & Dramatic Review, Volume XIV, Issue 830, 1 February 1906, Page 26

COOL.

A little Ir'shman, smoking a short clay pipe, entered the crowded bar of a busy hote 1 , elbowing several customers aside. He took a match from the match-stand on the counter, and then waked out without saying a word. The astonished barman gazed after him and wondered who he was. The very next morn ng the little Irishman walked into the same. place, lit his pipe, and then made his way out again. As he reached the door the barman caUed out after him:

“I say, who are you?” The Ir'shman turned round and sa.’d. “ You know me,” then went out. Next day, at the same time, he came again, he'ped himse f to a match as usual, and lit his pipe. He was just walking off when the barman caught h'm. “ Who are you?” asked the barman. “ Oh, you know me,” replied the Irishman. “ No, I don’t,” said the barman. “Who are you?” “Why,” was the cool reply, “Im the man that comes in here to light h’s pipe every mornin’.”

“ Good morrow, Mrs. Maloney. Will ye kind y give me a lend of your spade?” “Certainly, Pat. What do you want it for?” “Mike’s in the bo" and I want to dig h m out.” “How far is he in?” “Up to the heels.” “ Why, then, can’t ye lift him out?” “ Because he’s the wrong way up, faith!”

“ They have named a brand of cigars after Barker.” “ I should consider that qu te complimentary.” “ You wouldn’t, if you knew the cigars.” V. * *

Scene, Kimberley Railway Station. —Sandy, just arrived and looking ghim, is met by a friend, when the follow ng dialogue was overheard. — “AVeel. Sandy, what’s the matter?” “ Lost my luggage!” “ How did you do that?” “The cork came out!”

A Useless Trunk.—“ Buy a trunk, Pat,” said a dealer. “ And ?vhat for should I buy a trunk?” said Pat. “To put your c othes n,” said the dealer. “And me go without? Divil a bit,” said Pat.

Now that nearly every craft of His Majesty’s Navy has cold storage capacity, salt junk for the handyman is a’most a thing of the past. Chilled and frozen meats have supplanted it.