MISCELLANEOUS.

New Zealand Illustrated Sporting & Dramatic Review, Volume XIV, Issue 821, 30 November 1905, Page 27

MISCELLANEOUS.

MASSAGE OF THE EYE. (The latest treatment for defective sight is massage of the eyeball.) The treatment is by no means new By which they set such store, For I, and doubtless also yon. Have practised it before ; For when ere yet the dawn is red I’m called upon to rise, Half-blind I struggle out of bed And just massage my eyes When argument is waxing warm. Though Brown may be a fool, I think it only decent form To keep extremely cool. But when he says that he believes I’m simply telling lies, Off comes my coat, up go my sleeves. And I massage his eyes. “Tattler.” An exchange says that a Laplander will often skate 150 miles in a day. It may be added that there are people who will state as many lies in half that time. Higgs: “You said you gave a shilling for these two cigars we are smoking. I don’t think much of mine.” Keen: “Yes, I gave a shilling for the two, tenpence for one and twopence for the other. I am afraid you must be smoking the twopenny one.” Mrs Edgerton Blunt: “But why did you leave your last place?” Applicant: “I couldn’t stand the way the mistress and the master used to quarrel, mum.” Mrs E.B. (shocked): “Dear me! Did they quarrel much, then?” Applicant: “Yes, mum; when it wasn’t me an’ ’im, it was me an' ’er.”