TESTS OF SOBRIETY.

New Zealand Illustrated Sporting & Dramatic Review, Volume XIV, Issue 816, 26 October 1905, Page 23

TESTS OF SOBRIETY.

The London “ Pall Mall Gazette” has recently been criticising the tests of sobriety that are in vogue at the present time. Many of these tests are ludicrous enough, and some of them may be effective in certain cases; taken as a whole, however, they are not much to be relied upon. Pointing out the injustice of some of these methods the writer says: ‘ ‘ The fact that an inhabitant of Cork, when asked to repeat the words, ‘ Our British Constitution,’ could get no nearer to the truth than ‘ our brittle consolation,’ did not, and quite rightly, cast any reflection upon his sobriety in Ireland, but it would certainly have got him five shillings or seven days in any London police court.” This is where the injustice of the system comes in; such a case is about as fair as expecting a Chinaman to say “ Bule Britannia” without murdering the words. The old-fashioned test of setting a man to walk a chalk line is by no means a fair one either, for there are plenty of perfectly sober people who would find it hard work to wak such a line without wobbling. A man who would certainly lay himself open to suspicion was the individual recently discovered in one of uie London streets at two o’clock in the morning, kissing a pillar-box and asking it to come home. Another incident of a doubtful nature was that of a citizen who was discovered in the early hours on guard beside his friend, who was reposing in the doorway of an empty house. A curious passer-by, attracted by the vigil, asked, “ What’s the matter with him? Drunk?” And the loyal friend (we insist upon his loyalty, because without it the story would have no moral) indignantly retorted, “ Drunk be blowed. Didn’t you see ’im move ’is ’and?” Such cases as these may be beyond the pale of a word test, but there are a thousand and one cases where verbal tests are too unfair to be considered. A man with a slight brogue, for instance, might, and probably would, be completely cornered with an ordinary, everyday English word oi’ sentence. Any foreigner, too, would be put altogether at sea with the most simple test in our language. This in itself should be sufficient to condemn such a practice. A really drunk man is easily discerned, but it is when an individual is hovering on the border line between sobriety and drunkenness that the difficulty of conviction becomes fully apparent. Some of the tests recently applied to a suspected man in a London Police Court consisted of making him attempt to walk on a crack in the floor, reading a portion of the Parliamentary news in a daily paper, stand on the right foot and put the ball of the left foot on the calf of the right leg, and finally throwing the eyes up. The prisoner failed at the “ oneleg test,” as no doubt a good many people would who never touched liquor on any occasion. The magistrate, however, imposed a fine. This strikes one as being a very grave injustice, and renders anyone liable to be sentenced for not being able to balance the body on one foot. Tests of this sort are a farce, and should be dispensed with as too unfair for use in any -British court of justice. The “ L.V. Gazette” suggests that the use of the name of the admiral of Russia’s late Baltic fleet would be just as fair as the words generally in vogue, and this word, as everyone knows, has been a poser to three-quarters of the world’s population. However, it is high time that some reasonable test was imposed, and surely it should be an easy matter to differentiate between a drunk man and a sober one.

the challenge by Mr. Isitt during one of his recent addresses, is not going to take place. Mr. Thomson claims that Mr. Isitt was not sincere in his challenge, and nevei’ intended to debate. * » * < The prohibition fanatics are still wailing dismally throughout the land, and assisting themselves liberally to the cash of the foolishly credulous. When will the fleeced ones gain a little bit of common sense, and turn from the oily tongues of the slanderers? Of about 40 passengers who reached Napier recently by the Tangaroa from Wairoa, quite a number had difficulty in obtaining sleeping accommodation on their arrival. After pacing the town for some time, a mother, daughter, and her child were located in one single-size bed, and two men of the same family in another bed in the same room. Should there be further reduction carried at the next licensing poll, not to mention nolicense, it will not be very inviting to outside people visiting this or any other town in similai* circumstances.—“ Napier Daily Telegraph.” * * * * “ The publican, speaking broadly, is a sly grog-seller,” said the Hon. (?) VVooiley in a recent speech. “He studies the policeman on his beat and the magistrate on his bench, with a view to corrupt practices. If the front door is watched he keeps the side door open, and so sells on Sundays and election days.” Happily the publican is too much of a gentleman to speak broadly about Woolley and his kind. Were he to do so he could vent some truths that they would not like to hear even whispered. Our Taranaki correspondent writes: — The so-called American orator, Mr. J. G. Woolley, has been addressing meetings in Taranaki in favour of no-license. At New Plymouth he gave two addresses, and on each occasion Mr. J. Paul, the local brewer, had a few words to say from the liquor trade standpoint. Mr. Paul certainly had the better of the deal, judging impartially. In the course of his remarks Mr. Woolley, in laboured language pictured the woes, etc., caused by the liquor trade in America, whereupon Mr. Paul asked him why he did not stay in America and remedy the evils, instead of coming to New Zealand to tell us what to do. On the first night Mr. Wolley showed himself far from a temperate man. He was subjected to a slight interruption, and at once threatened that if he was annoyed in such a manner he would give orders to have the interjector evicted. A short time after another interjection was made, whereupon Mr Woolley gave orders to “ Throw that man out.” No one was thrown out, but the members of the audience afterwards re frained from raising his hair. * * It # The Red Lion Inn, Hampton, which in the days of Henry VIII. was a fa vourite places of call for that monarch’s hunting parties, is now being pulled down, and will be rebuilt on up-to-date lines. The house was patronised by Pope, Swift, Bolingbroke, Colley Cibber, Quin, Peg Woffington, and Kitty Clive, who dined there on their boating excursions to Hampton, and in more recent days the summer visitors included such celebrities as Michael Balfe and Mme. Vestris. It is also stated that the hostelry was the scene of the famous drinking bout between Addison and Pope. The house stands at the corner of Thames-street, and within a mile of Hampton Court Palace.