The STAGE

New Zealand Illustrated Sporting & Dramatic Review, Volume IX, Issue 455, 13 April 1899, Page 8

The STAGE

[By

Orpheus.]

“ Orpheusi ” will be glad to hear from those managers of theatrical companies touring New Zealand who desire that, the public shall know the movements of the companies. Any information as to date’, etc., will be acknowledged in these columns, as well as any other items of interest to the theatrical world. All letters should be addressed — ‘ Orpheus,” Sporting and Dramatic Review, Vulcan Lane. Auckland. SAVING THE PROPS. A SAUVE QUI PEUT. In Gisborne Town the lights were low, All traffic hush’d in street and row, While Morpheus cuddled every Pro’ Of Moore and Roberts’ Company. But Gisborne woke in sudden fright, When fire-bells clanged at dead of night, A nd engines strove with all their might. To see if they could pump any. The Theatre 1 Fire I Fire’s the shout I With rugs their “nighties” flung about; Scared players—men and g rls—dash out From the adjacent hostelry. 0, what a panic; what a rush ; Confusion and confounded crush; With many a bump and many a push, In blind and heedless jostlery. Some stable burns —a false alarm— But still the theatre walls are warm : Come, save the properties from harm, With quixotic temerity. They bundle out the box of scrip, Each actor grabs with iron grip, His wardrobe —lets the others rip— And bolts out with celerity. Far from the crackling flames and heat, They halt and line the stony street— A crew as nondescript a treat As Falstaff’s ragged regiment. A row of Pros., in light attire, With salvage from a fancied fire, Sitting upon a scorching pyre— It was the pavement edge 1 meant. Sweet Madge upon her bandbox sat, While Alec wore a triple hat, And Harry Ashton got the fat Of wigs about him flying I Quoth Maggie Moore, “ Why play the goat; Is this the Lane of Petticoat ? Old clo’! Old clo’! That Hebrew note, Methinks I hear you crying.” “ All danger’s past 1 Just please restore Your gear to where it was before The fiery billows ’gan to roar And threaten us despitefully. Perchance some mischievous old boy, Who isn’t here, will much annoy . Hereafter skiting frightfully.” Bright Ada, with her ancle sprained, Perforce had in her bed remained, And from the scrimmaging refrained, Lamenting loud and mournfully. Next morn there was a howdy mess— i She couldn’t find that neat black dress For Mrs Quinn, and did express Her indignation scornfully. Till sprightly little Osgood Moore Espied the gown behind a door, Remote from where it hung before, The crew showed such sagacity. Here ends the fable. Let it teach This moral: Dare the imminent breach ! •But, trustful reader, don’t impeach • Your faithful bard’s veracity.® ♦ * • « • * When Madame Blavatsky met Pythagoras in Hades, she questioned him thus Madame B.: Tell me, Pythagoras, was Homer’s account of the Siege of Troy a true history ? Pythagoras : True history be sulphuredl What could Homer know about it 1 At that time he was a Camel in Btzctria ! Madame B. (impatiently): There you are with your transmigration nonsense again, but, magno. est Theosophia etprißvalebit— l’ll refoim ion yet, you old sinner. An Egytian poster, stuck up at the Port Said Theatre, is a noble example of “ English as she is wrote” in the land of the Fellahs:— Theater Khedivial. . 1 To Night Is Perform THE MASCOT, in 3 akts. Begen at 9p m. Enters Free. Judging by the arthography, the audience would not be speZZ-bound. However, as that delicious “ Enters Free” seems to indicate a gift horse, one need not be too censorious. Still, “Be. en at 9 p.m.” suggests a suspicion of a collection to be taken up. The announcement, at least, implies a sense of “ La Maecotte’s” difficulties. Dropping a T and an E would suggest that the performers are not letter-perfect and suffer from an absence of ease when the piece “is perform.” Still, the K in “3 akts” only needs an O before it to make everything OK.

At Abbott’s Opera House, on Monday evening next, the popular Auckland Banjo, Guitar, and Mandolin Club once more make their bow to the public. Besides concerted pieces, a long and strong list of performers includes Miss Ethel Mclntyre (contralto), Messrs M. Hamilton Hodges (the splendid baritone), Arthur Ford (tenor), Chas. McFarlane and George Rowe (banjo and mandolin soloists), and S. E. Coleman (elocutionist). Dr. de Clive Lowe will also give his clever ventriloquial sketches and songs. Mr Arthur Towsey (conductor and musical director) will be in his place as usual.

On Tuesday evening the benefit to Mrs Bagot Birch deserves support, as well for the excellence of the programme as for the good object aimed at by the promoters.