TRADE TOPICS.

New Zealand Illustrated Sporting & Dramatic Review, Volume VII, Issue 353, 29 April 1897, Page 11

TRADE TOPICS.

John M’Caw, a Blue Spur (Otago) Prohib., lectured at Blue Spur a few nights ago. He announced himself as a staunch believer in Prohibition, but declared that, to be effective, Prohibition must go hand-in-hand with moral suasion. “ Man,” said John, “ was a free agent, and force should not be applied to make a man abstain from making use of the gifts God had given him. And he did not believe in Prohibition in districts where sly-grog selling would take its place. He thought it only tended to make men become sneaks. He -would rather have a public-house where a man could go in in the broad light of day, and have a drink if he wanted it, than see men slinking in at back doors, like curs.” The Spectator has hopes of John. He is too levelbeaded to remain a member of the Pump Party. — Spectator.

Overproof gooseberry wine appears to be a favourite tipple withTimaru “ Prohibs,” judging by the recent case in which a vendor of this seductive “ refreshment” was fined ten bob for selling alcoholic “ gooseberry.” The wives of the prohibited it was who gave the show away. They complained to the police that their hubbies went to defendant’s house sober and returned — you know : “ Have anozzerwizzmeolefler.” Really its about time somebody invented a new “ temperance” drink.— Spectator. So far as I have found, states a writer in the S.A..L. V. Gazette, there is only one risk a fellow runs when he drinks a rum and milk, a whisky and milk, or a brandy and milk. The risky business is not in drinking the whisky, the rum, or the brandy—the risk lies in the milk. People had better beware of milk. It is not often pure of late, especially now that rinderpest is rampant. I met with a man the other day who told me he was stricken with a peculiar and annoying illness after having drunk some milk on the course of a journey to Johannesburg. He says he’ll stick to “ B. & S.” for a while. I can scarcely blame him. Thus the Spectator : —Rev. F. W. Isitt, speaking at a recent Pump gathering at Wellington, said “It was intended to sow the colony kneedeep in literature instructing voters how to vote at the next local option poll.” That so ? But most voters know how to vote without “ literature ” to them. They proved this at the last local option poll. By the way, the Spectator would suggest that the blank sides of the “ literature ” should be utilised. Pity to waste good space. Why not print that parody on the “.Lord’s Prayer (from the Prohibitionist) on the backs of the hand-bills — beg pardon, we mean “literature.”

Sterrong derrink again! According to the. Edinburgh correspondent of the Otago Daily Times, a quart whiskey-bottle has been found in the stomach of a huge cod-fish landed at Bukie. It is with pain that the Spectator chronicles this item, and reflects that if that cod had only kept away from the drink he might have evaded capture ! “ Forty million gallons of whiskey in bond in Scotland!” exclaimed a red-nosed man as he laid his Star on his knee in the Ocean-Beach (Dunedin) tram, and cast his eyes roof wards with an ecstatic expression of countenance. “ For-ty millions of gallons!—whew!” “Yes,” commented a pious-looking party, wearing his hair a la Tennyson Smith, and a very large piece of blue-ribbon on his breast, “Yes, you may well feel astonished, yea, and dismay, my friend, at those figures. You may well deplore the fact that the Arch Enemy is so busy in Scotland.” “ What are you giving us ?” asked the red-nosed party, “ I was just thinking what a glorious drunk you could have with forty million gallons of whiskey, that was all. For-ty million gallons 1” The long-haired party groaned audibly and resumed the reading of his Star.