HERE AND THERE.

New Zealand Illustrated Sporting & Dramatic Review, Volume V, Issue 256, 20 June 1895, Page 9

HERE AND THERE.

' Owing to pressure on our space our leading article has been unavoidably held over. I intended giving a brief description of the commodious premises owned by Messrs. Ireland and Co., of Palmerston North, in the present issue, but unfortunately pressure on our space and the irregularity of the mails between Palmerston and Auckland compel me to hold it over until our next issue. The firm is a well-known one in Palmerston, and Mr Nash, the genial manager, has made himself popular with the trade throughout the district. The Nelson people evidently conduct their public houses in a manner pleasing both to the powers that be and the public generally if the following culled from a contemporary may be considered as a criterion: —“ At the annual meeting of the Licensing. Committee of Waimea Sounds, all the applications for renewals, etc., were granted and the Commissioner expressed that on the whole he was highly pleased with the manner in which the houses were conducted

We reproduce the following from the Sydney Bulletin merely as an example of the imaginative powers and cheerful mendacity of the average prohibition exponent: —The luridity of the Sydney drink-cure man : “ The skull of a man who has died from delirium tremens contains an alcoholic gas. A small opening in' the skull, soon after death, permits the gas to escape. It can be ignited, and burns with a bluish flame.” Formerly, delirium tremens produced, at the worst, blue devils with green horns. Next 1

There have been several well-contested football matches played on the grounds in Palmerston North during the last two or three weeks, and that genial boniface, Mr Hall, of the Royal Hotel, has as usual been somewhat to the fore. As a player ? No. Referee ? No. Trainer ? No. In what capacity then ? you will naturally ask. Well, I will tell. Mr Hall is an old footballer hfmself, and appreciates the fact that after a rapid game, when “ half time ” comes, the players feel somewhat in need of a gentle stimulant, something a little more satisfying than half a lemon, and, like the Good. Samaritan, he has got into the habit of mixing unostentatiously with the crowd of players, and murmuring as he approaches a particularly fagged out player, “ You will find the flask in my left pocket, old man ; don’t be afraid, it’s good stuff.” That his philanthropic efforts are appreciated goes without saying, for the flash always comes home empty. One of the peculiar institutions of Palmerston North is a gentleman whose area of acquaintanceship, is probably the largest of any that I have had the pleasure of hearing of. To listen to him one could not help marvelling at its extent and indiscriminate character. You perchance mention the name of a prominent statesman in his hearing “ Oh !” comes the rapid interjection “ you know him too, that’s peculiar, he is one of my oldest friends, always stops at my house when he passes through here and wouldn’t think of going anywhere else.” A short time afterwards you mention another name, that of a person in an entirely different sphere of life, and desirous of information suggest “ I suppose you know him Mr X——“ Know him ” comes the answer, “why my dear boy we have been pals for twenty years, I always call him Barney.” “ But ” you say “ his name is not Barney it is Thomas.” “ Quite so,” comes the unabashed reply, “ I know his name is Thomas as well as you, but I always call him Barney, it’s a sort of nickname.” High or low, poor or rich, my friend knows them all and knows them intimately. It’s an amiable delusion on his part and I thing it must spring from a species of philanthropic regard for mankind at large. Still it leads, at times, to rather ludicrous mistakes as when for instance a short time ago two gentlemen (one a foreigner) were having a discussion on South African affairs, and one of them remarked “ you know of course the difficulty in becoming intimate with the terra incognita ?" when my genial friend, who only caught the last few words, chipped in with, “ Difficulty, man ! nonesense, he is the most genial chap in the world. Why Terry and I went to school together and the last time he saw me he said ‘ I’ll never stop at any house but yours when I’m in town old man.’ ” The foreigner looked somewhat surprised. As for me, my whisky went the wrong way and an opportune fit of choking saved my reputation as a grave and austere man.

Mr H J. Williams, Secretary of the Brewers’ Association of New Zealand, passed through Palmerston, en route to Wellington, on Friday last. Mr Williams, who has been making a brief trip through the Manawatu district, expressed himself as pleased with the growing desire for unity amongst the licensed victuallers with whom he had come in contact.

I must say a word for Mr A. Woolley, the proprietor of the Commercial Hotel in Wanganui. It has only been taken over by hirh comparatively lately from Mr J. Cattell, who brought it up to an enviable standard. Mr Woolley has by no means let it drop from that standard, and at present it holds the name.of being the favourite resort of Bohemians and literary men. It also enjoys the unique distinction of being the only house in Wanganui where beer may be bought for threepence a half pint. Perhaps that is one of its attractions for literary men. Mr Woolley is an old resident, and one of those publicans who thinks more of the comfort of his friends and guests than of the sixpences he expects to get out of them. In fact, his well-known and oft repeated remark, “ It’s my turn now,” is, .proverbial amongst his customers. Arthur is a good fellow, and both his waipero and his kai are worth sampling. A Palmerston friend with a penchant for breaking forth in delirious verse occasionally, thinks that the following pretty accurately de- ■ scribes one of the local Hebes. See if you can

guess who it is : — Airy, lively, 4ond of fun, Doesn’t care for any one; As full of mischief as can be, Making love, but keeping free; A lass that you can never hold, Rather warm at times, then cold; - In short, her moods are like the moon, Even tis true, but varying soon; ’ ’ But still I love her changing ways, Rather her smile than other’s praise, Although I know her promise true Don’t mean a bit for me or you, ■ • Eor even when she casts a smile On you or I’tis but a.guile. Remember, then, before ydu start, Don’t lose your head or lose your heart.

For the benefit of the inquisitive, I may say that the above verse is written in the form of an ordinary acrostic of three names. A Christchurch contemporary says :—“ One or two of the local publicans have devised a method of dealing with those who, under the assumption that they are travellers, ask to be served with liquor on Sundays. A ‘ Visitors’ Book ’ is provided, at the head of each page of which are printed the clauses of the Licensing Act dealing with Sunday trading. Underneath are ruled columns, with headings, including the occupation and address of those who demand.to be served, the date on which the request is made, and the place where the applicant slept on the previous night. The applicant is required to fill in these columns before his wants can be attended to, and if the particulars are not found to be • satisfactory he has to go empty away. In one ‘instance the book was made to serve another purpose. The publican thinking a name put down was somewhat familiar to him, although he did not know the applicant by sight, looked through his file of prohibition orders, and there found that the man was a prohibited person. He was confronted with the order, and quickly followed advice to clear out before a policeman was sent for. - <

Of the two hotels in Palmerston whose application fora renewal of license was adjourned, one is kept by a gentleman of the Hebraic persuasion, whose life according to his own account has been a most chequered one. He has dealt in everything from suspenders to principles and has usually been successful. Although at present he is, a boniface his old business instincts will come to the front occasionally. A few evenings ago in company with a well-known local auctioneer and a couple of commercials I paid him a call. After several drinks we gave him a number of hints of the sledge hammer type that it Was his turn, but only met with the reply that “ a shillink in vas a grand game for shentlettien.” Despairing of any other result we agreed to the “ shillink in.” The landlord lost and a look of sadness came o’er his countenance that would have been a study for a realistic artist. We all ordered cigars and as the orders were given his countenance brightened up until it became almost seraphic, he stepped lightly up to the bar and remarked “ Repecca ma tear give the shentlemen the special brand I have lost die cigars." I couldn’t understand this spasm of generosity until I got outside and we attempted to light the cigars and then I appreciated the meaning of the “special brand,” ana smiled as I listened to the weird strains of profanity that permeated the atmosphere. We have much pleasure in drawing the attention of our readers to the advertisement appearing in another column regarding the wines produced by the “Glen Var” Wine Company, •near Lake Takapuna, Auckland. These wines have been before the public for some years and have met with the approval of all who have given them a trial. Being perfectly pure and unadulterated, they are specially recommended for the use of ladies and invalids requiring a mild stimulant or blood producer, numerous testimonials to this effect having been received by the ’ proprietors from doctors of this city and their patients. As will be seen by a glance at the list given in the advertisement, the prices the wines are now offered at should bring them within the reach of all, and we feel satisfied that everyone ‘ who tries them will consider he has received excellent value for his money. “ Good wine needs no bush,” and it is not too much to say that these will stand on their merits and compare favourably with the products of much older wine-producing countries in which every assistance is given to the industry by the authorities. We may, however, point out that it is very desirable in the interests of all residents in a new country such as this—in which, as we are all agreed.it is so necessary to as far as possible produce what we consume ourselves; thus utilising the raw material on the spot, and at the same time finding employment for our surplus population without recourse to Government aid.—to support such a promising industry in our midst in every way in our power.