CHAPTER XV.

New Zealand Illustrated Magazine, 1 May 1901, Page 604

CHAPTER XV.

TWO WOM It N IN WHITE

Caroline was dressed for a party. Since the night of Greraldine Ward's debut husband and wife had not appeared in societytogether ; indeed, Howard had chiefly divided his time between his study and solitary tramping, and Caroline had spent a portion of each day at " The Little Dustpan." But to-night there was no excuse. A Parliamentary personage was giving a big party to celebrate a political triumph, and all Melbourne —or that portion of it distinguished by talent, beauty or wealth — was to be present, including the Vice-regal party. Caroline had no desire to stay away. Iphigenia on her sacrifice lamented to part with the light of the sun, and the suffering wife did not find her self-repression easy. Since her repulsion Howard had maintained a cold aloofness, too proud to proffer an unwelcome friendliness, too absorbed in his own torments to observe his partner in the fiery flame. " Surely oppression niaketh a wise man mad, and a gift destroy eth the heart " a very wise man wrote long ago, and Howard was finding Frank's gift a self - destroying portion. Caroline was not looking her best ; her face was worn and sharpened, the stern denial of the past few months had intensified the old expression of austerity. There was nothing alive about her but her eyes, which burned with a feverish fire. She was conscious that she was looking plain ; her clear paleness of skin had lost its freshness, the gold glints were absent from her fair hair, the new sweet surprise of life, which had so wonderfully softened and gladdened her expression, had departed with its girlish charm, and left her rigid and stiff. She looked to-night a prim, expressionless woman of thirty. Howai'd joined his wife on the staircase. He had barely looked at her for months, but now his eyes travelled slowly over her thin figure and back to the sharpened face,

with a gradual lowering of the lids over bis gloomy eyes. No woman wholly arises above the animal apprisement of the mau she loves, not even the most spiritual. Some escape into convents from its contamination, others call it affinity, or intellectual names, hut it is part of the price woman pays for thu fall, that the man's ruling retains some of its original force over her. "You want some colour," said Howard, coldly. His disapproval shamed her. She felt like a creature put up for a price and found wanting. For a moment she had a wild wish to run away and hide herself from his criticising glance. The sweet equality of their past relationship, the simple natural bond between them was as though it had not existed. She remembered that she was a wife who had not been hard to win. She stood there and bore quietly one of those anguishes which surely must tell for a woman's soul at last. She laughed a little hysterically. "It is the cold," she said. "I am never very rosy in the winter." The hand she rested on his arm trembled so violently that he noticed it. " Would you rather not go ?" he asked, kindly. " Don't ask me to stay at home," she answered in a sudden fright lest she should lose this evening with him. " The Governor will be there and Lady " she added in hurried confusion, " and Frank." Howard laughed, and led her to the carriage. The drive to St. Clair was a silent one. Their destination was a mansion overlooking the esplanade. They were late, and it took some time to get through the crush and reach the host and hostess. That duty perfoi'med, Caroline found a quiet corner for hei'self, and looked on dreamily at the animation around her without any wish to take part in it. Not that the note of pleasure rang falsely to her — she 'had that rare gift of creating gods and goddesses everywhere ; she had been set apart from Vol. TT.— No. 8.— 41.

favour by his judgment, and just now she had no strength to demur. Presently there was a little murmur and rustle as of expectation or welcome. Carolino stood up to look. There was a woman entering the room, beautiful as a statue with the grace and charm of life. Caroline knew her instantly. " Geraldiuo Ward ! ' she exelaimod, above her breath. The perfect arms and shoulders, the grout dark eyes, the wealth of black-bronze hair, tho inimitable grace won? not to be mistaken. She was dressed in dead-white satin, and wore neither flowers nor jewels, and needed none. The first sensation of the wife who had been slighted for lack of beauty was a covetous envy of the woman who possessed it; the next was a strange thrill of imparted magnetism. She turned and saw Howard by her side. His startled breath arrested her attention. The soft gaze slio had turned to him lingered in wondering surprise. Sho saw his face flush, grow young and glad, then pale and aged. While oblivious of her presence he watched the other woman in white. Geraldine made her slow progress of triumph with many interruptions. Her friendly eyes lightened and brightened aH she came. Her smile had something of melancholy in its sweetness. Caroline missed no expression, no gesture ; she drew in all the perfection of form and grace of the woman who had supplanted her as she might have breathed a fragrant poison in desperate pain, fascinated even while her life fainted. All around her seemed wavering and fading, yet she saw Geraldino's half-perceptible start when her glance fell upon Howard, the widening of the pupils of the dark eyes, the half mocking of her smile and bow. Then for oue swift deep moment the two women's eyes fastened — and G-eraldine passed on.

Many people are boru and go through life, and die, and do not experience what Caroline did in those moments. All the reserve of her passion rose. It seemed that she had been shipwrecked in the night, and the

waves of despair silenced her cries. Then a greed of jealousy tore her, and presently she was aware of the pleasant hum of voices around her again, and the soft strains of a waltz from a further room. She answered several greetings quite pleasantly, talked coherently to her stout old beau who had the knack of always finding her in a crowd, and all the time her dual self was asking : " How can I keep him ?" and her hope was in the goodness of the other woman's face ! Her temperate judgment reasserted itself through the keen passion of the hour. She reached and grasped the truth — her unknown rival was good ! With a sti'ange fascination Caroline watched her all the evening, moving her position with apparent naturalness as Geraldine went from place to place. Her own manner changed ; she felt so horribly agitated that by a sort of mental necessity she covered her agitation by converse with one and' another. Frank joined her, but a spirit of restlessness seemed to possess him also, and presently Caroline found hei'self alone again. The rooms were stiflingly hot. In company with her host she made her way to a glassed-in balcony, where at his suggestion she rested while he went away to send her some refreshment, as she had declined to face the crowded supper-room. The balcony was sweet with the fragrance of hot-house flowers and plants, and under the cover of concealing shrubs Caroline stood and looked out over the moonlit bay. It was one of those still warm nights that are not unfrequent in the earliest spring in Australia. The sky was darky blue and cloudless, spangled with stars. The white waves breaking on the sands wafted their briny perfume to the watcher. The long line of lights of pier and shore running out into the silver haziness claimed her gaze, but it was only her physical eyesight that was engaged ; her mind was occupied with the loveliness of the woman her husband loved. In the pauses of music and dancing feet the long " sw-ish " of the waves reached

and soothed her unconsciously. Then with that peculiar feeling which Howard's nearness always gave her, she turned and saw him approaching Geraldine, who held a small court of the most distinguished men in the room. Caroline's curiosity was aroused — how would these two meet ? Howard stood waiting as he had waited for herself so often, but there was almost a fierce look of impatience in his eyes, and the line between his brows was cut deep. Presently the other men gave way, and with the quick movement that Caroline knew signified his decision was made regarding some point, he stepped forward, and with a word or two almost of command, judging by his face, he held out his arm to Geraldine. She turned her eyes to him for a moment with an expression gravely sweet, rose and took the proffered arm without a word. The action bereaved Caroline ; it had seemed their married prerogative to command and obey, Howard's right and her own. There had been a settled rest in his fealty to her ; if he had not loved her, at least she had been the one woman in his world. His infinite solitudes had been her own ! Geraldine's head, with its wealth of dusky hair, was held proudly as she came on, turned slightly from the man beside her, as if in chagrin or disdain. Howard's face was inscrutable save to his wife; to her eyes the mask of coldness was not impenetrable. Before she knew his intention he led his companion straight to the balcony, and following him as closely as he could steer his way was someone with a glass of lemonade. Caroline found herself inanely inclined to laugh at the comical gravity of the man's face as though to present the iced drink to her unspilt was of the first importance ! Geraldine's gleaming skirts almost touched her as she passed. The throbbing of her heart made Caroline faint ; she stood for a moment to recover command of her trembling limbs, and in that moment lost

her chance of escape, for the lemonade bearer blocked up the doorway, and she found it impossible to be seen, feeling her husband's and Geraldine's presence like a culprit, trembling and ashamed. The young man looked carelessly in, and seeing the dim recess occupied by Mr. and not Mrs. Grey turned abruptly away, glad no doubt to go to his prospective partner. Caroline's pulse seemed to cover all other sound fora moment; the lights grew dim and faded, but her slender hand fastened with a grip that saved her from falling on to the palm, under which she stood ; then flickering lights came back from thedarkuess, the strains of " The Blue Danube " and the sharper " swi-ssh " along the sands. Then her husband's voice subdued but earnest : " I could not lose this opportunity of asking you — if indeed you have granted me a thought — to forgive what has seemed discourtesy, if not churlishness " Geraldine stopped him with a gesture. She had seated herself in the full light of a lamp suspended above her. Its amber glow shone on the dark hair and the milk-white skin, and shimmered over the gleaming satin of her gown with a soft warm radiance. Howard stood beside her, bending forward slightly, a solicitude iv eyes and voice new to Caroline. By that strange sympathy which enabled her to feel ever with her husband apart from personal experience, she resented the slight imperious gesture that cut short his speech. " Please no platitudes. You expressed your opinion when we first met — it was that geniuses wear better at a distance. I entirely acquiesce." She turned her eyes to his with a careless smile, but Caroline saw them change expression. " You have been ill ?" she asked, " or have you overworked ?" " Neither," he answered, but his brows were drawn as if in pain ; he avoided the eyes upon his face. "At least," he added hurriedly, " not physically ill — there are wearinesses not of the flesh " "I am one of them !" Caroline's thought

interjected. His smile was worso to sec than woman's tears. A slight pauso followed his words. Geraldine removed her gaze, the white lids fell over the dark eyes, she unfurled her fan and swayed its feathers gently backward and forward. " Fame has its penalties," she said in even tones. She held him just where lie had placed himself — leagues away. His face contracted. Ho drow himself up slightly. Caroline's hands, locked tightly together, she trembled for his conflict. " True," he answered huskily, after a moment's speaking silence, " and its triumphs." He bowed with meaning that could not be mistaken. There was another pause filled with music, then Geraldine's voice talking of Melbourne, of the people, of the party to-night. There was no suggestion in her words of comradeship, anything of a confidential past, yet Caroline knew that she was piqued, and that he was shaken by some emotion that was fighting with his will for mastery. Prom her dark h hoi tor she watched him, forgetful of her position. If it were the execution of all her hope in him, all pride or trust in his manhood, she would see the act to its close. Tho overpowering desiro to know tho worst mastered her first instinct to save him humiliation. The hint of some regret was in his voice when he next spoke. " Miss Ward," he said, " will you lot mo say to you — it is scarcely likely that we shall meet again, as you sail for .England so soon — that I have been among tho humblest admirers of your art ? No, don't interrupt me ! I have not offered you the trivialities, the commonplaces of courtesy — in ray mind you were removed from triviality " The pause and the music again, the sigh on the shore. Some words trembled on his lips, but he substituted others. "The featureless demonstrations of a religion are not religion. Am I right ?" How would she answer him ? How meet his clumsy effort to tell her, and yet not tell her that she was his faith, a goddess to

whom he must not kneel ? Her beautiful mouth trembled, her deep eyes glowed with light, but she did not look at him, did not by any coquetry endeavour to weaken his purpose. " Quite right," she answered. Caroline breathed a long breath of relief " Thank you !" said Howard, grateful for the woman's help. He was fighting valiantly for the redemption of his honour. " There are experiences in a destiny," he went on, pushing his hair off his foi-ehead, K that touch on eternal things, hungers too gi^eat to be satisfied with sweetmeats, shames too deeply engrained to cover, except by blood " "Shames?" " Yes, Miss Ward." She looked at him then. Would she show scorn ? No, only wonder. The wife listened in an agony for what came next. Oh, that he might not let the lovely stranger in where the wife had been shut out ! Geraldine nodded in comprehension. " When life can neither be a fairy tale nor a play to a man, what is the best to do with it, Miss Ward ?" The music had ceased, and in the hush that long-drawn sigh from the shore was audible. Geraldine was pale. She succeeded, however, in simulating a calm she did not feel. Caroline knew that it would be impossible not to be touched by the appeal. There was persistence in the man's voice ; he meant to be answered. The unregenerate soul looked out from his eyes. Quick words sprang to Caroline's lips. But he hung over his rival for his answer. Geraldine searched his face with her shining eyes to get a clue to his meaning.

"You have chosen," she said. "You must follow where your genius leads you. Once having put his hand to the plough, the artist may not turn back." Her face lit with enthusiasm, her voice had a ring of almost passionate conviction. "No man oan fairly serve two masters; desert everything on earth beside, but be true as Q-od's own truth to the eternal spark of the creative fire."

He bowed his bead in painful humility. "But if the man who asked was not a genius, only a very ordinary man ?" Geraldine looked at him wonderingly ; she lacked the knowledge which the wife possessed, but if she had it, what would she say to him then ? She laughed softly with a tender repudiation of his mediocrity, and shook her head. She had no conception of her questioner as merely man. Caroline understood that to her he was the poet — the ideal conception of a man — artist first and Howard afterwards. "An ordinary man ? " again that caressing laugh, and a pause that was filled with her rejection of the idea. " Why, then, you would be weak, with wit enough to earn your daily bread, with manhood fresh and keen enough to take the common task and execute it in the common way without illumination or inspiration. The savor of your life — the value of your work ! Your moral conscience — the affirmation of your quest! Your serenity — where everything was put in order for you ! Untruth, where you were baffled, you would not draw your wisdom from development, but accept it from your grandfathers. 'It is the eteraal that distinguishes,' you yourself said that.'' He made a movement of interruption. Caroline remembered the fatal passage in his book. With eyes that did not stir from his shamed face Geraldine went on : " ' Eternal labour, eternal love, eternal faith,' your own doctrine, Mr. Grey ; your analysis of greatness." She rose as she spoke, as though in recollection of neglected duties. Her eyes smiled sweetly into his. The wife was spared no bitterness. The demand of Geraldine to his sh*ongest — a best that was not his — flushed his dark cheeks with shame. " The shame he shares with me," thought Caroline. " She looks on him as great — I love him as he is." As though her thought had reached him he replied:

" I am not great, Miss Ward, but pitifully small. To indicate truth and greatness has been no aim of mine. lam no artist, but a common mau. Instinctively common — for my aim in everything I did (Caroline noted the past tense) was for payment — my own advantage. I laboured for an end !" "What end?" "As I have said — my own advantage. I never pretended that my life was sacred to a principle — not even to the ' common ' sentiment of a ' common ' man. The purpose of my life was to possess power, not from any artistic idea of the sesthetical value — not even for the sake of household things. That was all sealed to me. I never worshipped spirit and truth — I never yielded to the ordinary affections of men. I had no need for wife nor child. I wanted power — for my own name's sake !" "Well?" " There are swift moments in life, Miss Ward, when after long repression a sudden passion breaks through the dam of self control and sweeps all — even honour before it!" " I do not understand," she said with an indefinable stiffening and reserve. "Nor do I wish you to understand. Simply to believe that to attribute strength to a man does sometimes in this world of disillusion inspire him with the desire to gain it. The man to whom you gave your appreciation — and the heavenly sweetness of your trust — was uot the mau to whom it belonged. This sounds a jumble, a confusiou to you. It is a muddle — a damnable muddle (forgive me!) but though your belief at the

time was misplaced, it will help mo to rebuild. It has helped me to renounce." His voice broke. She hold out hor hand to him, but still with that nameless reserve, as though his words had chillod some thought of him, or baffled some desire. Regretful questionings were in hor eyes, her face was half unsatisfied. But if her heart, asked fuller confidence she crushed the wish before her lips fashioned it. She left her hand in his as though forgetful it was there. His fingers closed on it. " I must forego man's dearest gain. Good-night, good-bye. The gain I coveted has turned to dross — my loss is hard to spare." He recovered himself before his seltabandonraent had carried him further. It had become well nigh intolerable to Caroline. She had very nearly broken in upon it. He had taken stock of his losses ; had not she given him all that ho recounted? She had taken a sort of mystical joy in his soul struggle while he and she wore shut in by his environment. His appeal to Geraldino put her in a frenzy. They stopped before leaving the balcony close enough to Caroline for her to touch him. " Forgo," said Geraldine with a hint of impatience or scorn. "I do not understand. To achieve is power. Never sue — compel. The world as well as the individual loves power." There was a strange light in her eyes. " Establish your right — and demand it." He mused and wondered, his gaze dwelling upon her face. " I have no right," he answered, proudly sure.

[to de continued.]