Our Funny Page

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLVII, Issue 20, 15 May 1912, Page 72

Our Funny Page

"Wife —How about the tickets, dear? I understand the theatre is packed at every performance. Hub—lt is, but I managed to get seats for two weeks from to-night—and, by the way! Wife—Well? Hub —You might begin to get ready now .

*-J al wa y- »J. unlucky."’ be said with j wears s ch. "What's the ma’ter ■ « friend asked 'itapont over .'e»i i d ir- .n havin' my b>y taught to pliy th- fiddle. and now his hair's all coinin' out.”

Mother—l really think you'd be happier if you married a man who had less money. Daughter—Don't worry, mother; he will have less in a very short time. '"This show cost the producer £6,000.” “Tin glad of it."

AnnT an Heiress —But. dear, if I accept you, everyone will say you marr d me for my money. French Count— Don’t let that worry you; you can pay my debts first and there won't ba enough money left to excite comment.

PROPRIETY'S LIMIT. “Is she proper?" “'Proper? She’s so darned proper she won’t even accompany a man on the piano without a chaperon.” Two men were hotly discussing the merits of a book. Finally one ot them, himself an author, said to the other: ‘•No, John, you can’t appreciate it. You never wrote a book yourself.'’ "No,' retorted -John, "and 1 never laid an egg, but I'm a better judge of an omelet than any hen in the ite.” Louise: Clasping me in his arms, he murmured: ‘"At last —the time, the place, the girl.” Julia: And was th. re nothing lacking? Louise: Yes —a witness.

“Well, thank heaven,” he said, approaching a sad looking man who sat back in a dark corner, ‘that’s over with.” “What is?” "I've danced with the hostess. Have you gone through with it yet?" “No; I don’t need to, I’m the host.”

“Ar 1 I suppose," said Miss Gushing* ton, “that while in London you were at court?" “Only once,” admitted Mr. Lushing'.on, blushing. “But I wasn’t g-ilty. and I got off with a reprimand.''

Dodds—As one grows older there are certain things in which it is difficult t 1 keep up one's interest. Don't you find it so? Hobbs —Er—yes—there's the mortgage on my house, for example.