A Pity.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLVI, Issue 9, 30 August 1911, Page 61

A Pity.

(By lUlph Haslam, in London Opinion.) ’ 1 discovered Clarence lying in an armchair with his feet in the fender. He gave me a limp hand, showing tout little enthusiasm at my advent. 1 slammed my hat and stick on the table and drew oil my gloves in the best bedside manner. “(jeer up,” quoth I; "all the best people are having ’flu this year,” “No they aren’t,” he said ; “I’m not.” >• I'lien what on earth’s the matter ?” “ To-day is Wednesday,” he replied. “On Sunday I proposed marriage to the girl, Lydia ; I have been like this ever since.” She has refused you ?” “She accepted you then. I cannot laugh You cannot expect me to laugh. This joke has been recurring for years.” ‘•You miss the point. I love the girl os of yore, but —whether she accepted me or refused me, which is uncertain —I can never see her again.” “ Papa heaved you out,” I broke in. “My dear chap, it always happens ; I can show you a dent in the pavement in Belgrave Square ” ‘ Again you are wrong. I, of my own acaccord, quitted the premises, walked three miles to the station, and returned by a Sunday evening local, forfeiting a weekend ticket.” “Wait,” I said. “I will strengthen myseif with a whisky and soda before you proceed—now I ” “1 have always held to the view,” he began, "that any form of comic business is out of place in a proposal of marriage." “Quite" 1 said. “If you introduced anything in that line you made a great mistake. I once entertained the idea of proposing to a lady in a false nose, but on second thoughts I abandoned it. She was herself well furnished in the matter of noses.” “Yes. In my case, however, the humour was unconscious.” “ Surely you didn’t lend on the carpet or anything ?” “Certainly not. I did the whole thing extremely well. Fate, however, interfered, and turned the sublime into the ridiculous.” “You have the artist’s touch,” I exclaimed, drinking whisky to him. “ Proceed." “Wei! to begin at the beginning, I went down for the week end to Lydia’s people, who live in a rustic spot. During Katun] iy and Sunday Lydia and I behaved i:> the manner of persons who are about to become engaged, and on Sunday eve: iug we arranged to dress quickly and get down in the drawing room before the others.” "A good chance.” ’ No,” he said. “A rotten scheme. Lou kr. ov how particular I am in attire. Had I - >t dressed in a hurry the catastroph.' , ild never have occurred. I was 111 th- !of parting my hair when I heard 1 . lia's skirts brush past my door, llngrn., on my white waistcoat and 1 ; need off in pursuit. When I enter-.i •.■■■ drawing room I found Lydia seated n the piano. She was playing an rut tune on the black notes ' 11 h alls her nocturne in ten flats. . ■ ,-.,.d herself." me 1 once had a fiancee who m-.el. Jt began like this ” ■ Imre ! Am I narrating or you,” led wrathfully. , co ahead ; but it is a tedious ; ■’! up and leant picturesquely 1 T the piano—a striking figure , ! . - r>l<ed up at me with the unmis:tight in her eyes, and began , ’ ' ‘ r me in a remarkable manner. '■ ’“d how much she admired my '--mg. the careless ease of my ' !! > delicate touch of unconven1 '!' indescribable je-ne-sais-quoi put it. I thought that possibly ' l, ' H| ig it to encourage me, but (•’' ' ' m forced to the unpleasant von- .. .. I 't, 'he was being funny." i did yon do?” y ;i • after some beating about the j n 1 '“izcd her two lily-white hands ],p.. ' „ a ”'\ bending down, breathed in I I Passionately as follows : ‘Lydia, pose 1" ' "1° hope’-—in short, I proi ' /. -he accepted vou !” ' h 'w\e so.” to surely you paid some attention reply ?•’ I >ll mll <h. At that moment Ho pan,,.,f‘ ght of n *y sel f ‘n the glass.” “Wai?" A hud no tie ou 1 *