Hicks of Wall Street.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLV, Issue 8, 24 August 1910, Page 48

Hicks of Wall Street.

By

MAXIMILIAN FOSTER.

IF you could set me back about a few thousand years—say in the middle of the Quaternary man-epoch— l might be able to make my way villi the tree dweller and the troglodyte. But 1 do not know to a certainty. < hire upon a time 1 used to think 1 could. I ii'-'d to believe, you know, that mind is superior to mere brute force; that a brain equipped like mine could have juggled with the primeval as it would. But Hicks, my brother-in-law, has shaken my conviction —so seriously, indeed, that, so far at least as he is concerned, my only remaining hope is to meet him on common ground, man to man. muscle versus muscle. Which explains why 1, the owner of a highly developed mind, have taken to swinging Indian clubs. Hicks is a near relative of the cave dweller—a kind of modernised troglodyte in tailored clothes, who is equipped with the primitive force of a Neanderthal man. Indeed, before 1 learned to swing my Indian clubs. 1 should not have cared to meet llieks up a dark alley about the year 5700 B.( . To-day In* is working in Wall Street. lie is doing rather well, too. and rides around in a sixty horsepower Fremh ear. with a <haidl’eur who is a mechanician. They cost more than the kind that are just mechanics. Hicks came to us just after Ermentrude and 1 had decided not to wait any longer. In the spring, the college rai'sed my salary- not enough, of course, to make me nervous about investments, but enough to warrant, the plunge. So she and 1 got married; and as Ermentrudo and her sister are orphans, we asked Dorothy to come and live with us. Th(‘ii. after college closed, Ermentrude, Dorothy and I sought the primitive. Otherwise, there might have been no 1 licks —at all events, not for a time. ‘’How perfectly ideal!’’ exclaimed Dorothy. when she first saw our now home and the lake in front. “Just look at that lovely little island, away out there! Just the place for a picnic! Why it looks as if it floated in the sunlight!” Indeed, it did. “Like one of the postpliorenp crannoges." I remarked, observantly. “of the Roscommon loughs.’’ Dorothy stared at me briefly. “(all oIT the dog. 'roodles,” said she to my wife., ‘ lie’s barking again.’’ 1 dislike to hear Ermentrude’s sister call her 'l’oodles. Nor do I care to hear my-elf alluded to as Hank, w hen mv real name is Henry Vivier. Nor am I fond of other features of Dorothy’s address. That night, for instance, when we weie retiring, I was ju-d remarking to Ermentrmlc that I’d sppii a distant outerop of conglomerate which promised to lieeonie amusing- and a reef of which appeared 1o be genuine Laurent ian w hen Dorothy pip l I up through the thin partition. “If Hank doesn’t stop snoring, he’ll fall out of bed. Toodles. where did you put my chocolate creams?” But after breakfast, on the morrow, Dorothy became thoughtful. “Strange,” said 1. “how one craves strong, rugged food in air like this. Now the fried pork ” Dorothy awoke there. “Yes, we’ve lived through it twice now: sn maybe it won’t slaughter Jim. But I wish we’d

brought some canned stuff—sardines and Bartlett pears. This table may not agree with him.” Hicks, if you please! “Oh, you mean him!” I remarked, recalling the fellow. “That chap who came to the Freshman game once, in a large, pink touring car.” Dorothy eyed me sideways. “Nothing of the kind. Red —with a rumble. A six-cylinder, sixty horse-power car, with four selective*, and as flexible as a railroad engine. Could climb the side of a house and pick up speed in doing it—and he's coming. “And if you won't row me out on the lake,” continued Dorothy, “why thank heavens there’s one man, at least, that hasn't always a headache—or a case of Hie dolmens”—great Scott"! they’re prehistoric sepulchres! “or an acute attack of the kitchen middens ” I went away from Dorothy because I wanted to see a gasolene launch that the boatman had told me about. 1 hate rowing, and the launch was for sale at a bargain. “See. Ermentrude!” T eried, delightedly—she had come with me—“you turn that crank business, and it goes. Right ahead, too. Faster than a man can row.” A subdued cackle broke in there, proceeding from one Exevirry, the camp eliore-boy. He spelled his name Xavier, I learned afterward, though he pronounced it otherwise. However, his was the laugh derisive. “Sometimes!” chuckled Bill—this was what we later compromised on calling him. “Sometimes—if ye’re lucky. And onct she wont ap!” Ap, I gathered from the jerk of Xav-vier-Bill’s thumb, meant up. Ermentrude looked at me thoughtfully. “Henry—is it safe?” she questioned: and before I could answer her, Dorothy drifted gracefully into view. “You mean: Doos this policy cover the ease?” observed Dorothy. Then she. tried to pinch my ear playfully, which is a thing I intensely dislike. It does not seem—well, academic, to say the least. T was somewhat ruffled, hence my sharp “I took a P. G. in applied maehanics,” I answered, concretely, “and I have decided to name the boat the Otiuni cum Dignitato. You sit still ami do nothing —ease with dignity.” Dorothy sniffed tentatively, with her delicate nostrils. “Did you say odium?” she inquired, knowing. I think, how I detest puns. “You'd better hunt for a leak in that gasolene tank,” said my sis-ter-in-law.” That afternoon, however, we went out in the Otium. She had a four-horse, single-cylinder. two-cycle, jump-spark motor, with a detachable cylinder head. It was alleged that she'd reverse on the commutator by advancing the spark: but -after 1 had carried away a slice of the wharf float, half her forward deck and •all her guard strake, 1 decided the statement was misleading. Subsequently, I learned to stop her out in the lake and to come in under her headway. By constant practice, I was able to do this at least two times out of five -without rowing. But nevertheless T became used to rowing the Otium. Her specialty was breaking down in mid-lake—at a locus in space,

the greatest known distance from a given point of home.- Then I rowed, though I despised rowing. With the month-end came Hicks. At Ermentrude’s suggestion, I wrote him a nice letter, suggesting that he might like file rest, and that I could give him a hit of fly-fishing before the hot weather drove the trout into deep water. Also, I mentioned, as a special inducement, that I had a motor boat. “You know,” said Ermentrude, meaningly, “he’s quite a nice fellow—and there's Dorothy. He was full-guard or right centre on the ’Varsity—no, that’s not it, either! He was a team quartermaster, 1 mean. What? .... Oh, well —never mind. He’s frightfully nice, and besides, he has just oceans of monev, and——” Dorothy would have said oodles. I detest the word —it lacks a root derivation. But we got a telegram from Hicks, terse and to the point: “Tickled to death.” A physiological possibility, though not probable. But the wire cost me a dollar- for delivery—thirty-three and a third cents a. word, when 1 had been paid only a quarter of a cent a word for my last article in the “Scientific Journal”:— “Known Traces of the Proto-Helvetie Man; With Some Reference to Megalithic Tumuli.” Hicks came; and I was face to face with the primeval—though I didn’t realise it at first. “Now, see here, Henry,” said Ermentrude, gently, “can’t you keep out of the way? You know how you'd have felt at interruptions, when you were coming to see nre.” “I know,” I pleaded urgently; “but the man interests me amazingly.” It must) have been instinctive, I think. “Haven’t you noticed the extraordinary development of his superciliary ridge, and the glabella?” “I don’t know what you mean,” answered Ermentrude. “On the contrary, he looks quite handsome and distinguished.” “You’d call it the eyebrows,” I retorted, sharply. “Both the Engis and Neanderthal skulls ” “Give Hank the headache cure,” said Dorothy, joining us suddenly, “we’re all going out in the Odory Prdfanum.” Her remark nettled me still more. “You don’t pronounce it properly,” I reproved, testily. “Odi Profanum—not odory, is what you’re trying to say, Besides, the Otium blew out a gasket this morning.” “How do you know it?” demanded Dorothy-, bluntly. But I was ready for her. “Because Xavier-Bill told me it was a gasket,” I retorted; “and Bill knows.” “A gasket, hey?” remarked Hicks, airily, and I pricked up my ears. It was the first evidence he had given of that brutish and primitive self-assertive force of life. “Oh, that’-s easier than .pie!” said Hicks. I was thoroughly nettled. “But it was unavoidable, and I have wired to the factory to advise me how I shall repair it.” Hicks looked at me a moment, and then grinned. His masticatory process, by which I mean his large, -Strong teeth, have done much to confirm my theory.

“Factory!” Hicks looked away. “Hey, Biff!” lie called; “you got any valve packing” I was secretly delighted to see Bill shake his head. Hicks thought for a moment. “Got an old leather boot?” Bill had one —yes; and Hicks went to work on my engine. “She’ll probably burn out,” he observed idly, “but it’ll last till we get home, anyway.” “And it won’t blow up?” demanded Ermentrude. “Of course not,” answered Hicks, wiping his hands on a bunch of cotton waste. “If she blows out, she’ll only spit a little. You ought to got a solid cylinder, old sport,” said Hicks to me. “These bolted tops are no good.” “On the contrary,” I answered, testily —for I’d begun to note the fellow’s hands, which were large and strong, and his shoulders, which were like my projected drawing of the pithecanthropus man, as evolved and built up from evidence of the skull fragment—“On the contrary,” I said, determined to show him mind was superior to mere brute force; “for you can take off the cylinder, head, when you wish to cool the engine.” But Hicks, after another idiotic stare, buried himself suddenly in the tool locker. I said nothing more. Just wait, I thought, till he tries to get her going. And ifxhe does start her, just wait till she breaks down in mid-lake .... oh, well! “All right, girls,” said Hicks, airily aa ever, as if he were asking them aboard a steam yacht -with a paid engineer to run it. Just you wait, I thought again. And when he looked at me inquiringly, “Go ahead,” said I, “you run her this time.” Then I went forward to hide a smile. So Hicks went at it. “You'll find the crank on the locker,” I called to him. “Ermentrude’s sitting on it.” “Why, so I am!” exclaimed my wife, nervously. “I wondered what it was. But I’m always so agitated.” Hicks grunted. “May not need it,” he answered, lightly, and laid hold of the fly wheel. I thought I should shriek with merriment. Not want it! Hicks rocked over the fly- wheel and rocked it back again. Then he turned it over till the engine coughed; rocked the wheel again, and gave it a whirl. ’Pon my-word! Puck! puck! pucketypuck! barked the motor—and then stopped. Instantly, my- first wild astonishment faded, and I allowed myself the 1 privilege of a smile. “-.Say,” drawled Hicks, frowning at me, don’t you ever tighten up your coil connections ?” Without awaiting the answer, he set the thumbscrews, rocked the fly wheel again, and the Otiuni spurted forward on her way. “Just look!” exclaimed Ermentrude;’ “we’ve never gone bo fast before!” Dorothy, after looking at the engine, observed thoughtfully-, “But we so seldom went at all.” “And I am not- in the least nervous now,” added Ermentrude, gaily-, “not with Mr. Hicks—anyway.” Oh, to be stabbed to the quick like that, by the wife of one’s bosom! But

I sat back, gritting my teeth in silence, and I was istill gritting them when the Otium gave a snort, Kicked viciously, snuffed like a gasping grampus, and then, after one last bark, rocked to a standstill. •’There!” I leaped up, radiant. It had come, at last: and -now I could look on peacefully and watch the brute work himself to death. Try to show me, would he?—and with my own engine! “Juot sit still,” said Hicks, easily. “I turned her off -that’s all.” Turned her off’? Stopped her while she was running! The man must be out of his wits, unless he were daft on the alleged sport of rowing. “What did you do that for?” I snapped at him. “Do you want me to waste the day trying to start her up again?’’ llickn answered with a dry grin, and began pottering around the carburetor. Humph! Said I: “You’ll find a Stillson wrench, three spanners, a monkey wrench, a case of tiles, a set of cold chisels and a maul in that locker. If they’re not enough,” 1 added, definitely. “Dorothy’s sitting on a pair of pliers, too.” “Give me a hairpin. Dotty/’ said Hicks; and I spoke no more. For he went at the carburetor with the hairpin, and in three minutes we were going on again faster than ever, it enrages to say. After that,

Hicks leaned back and seemed to forget all about the motor; and we went on and on, the Otium barking like an energetic terrier and never missing a bark. But as we bore down on Dorothy’s chosen island, the engine began tsuddenly to pound—delicious music, indeed!—to pound and bang about and jerk and shudder, as if determined to wrack itself apart. “There— now!” I said. “Hnimmh!” grunted Hicks, and reached for the pet cock on the water jacket. The motor kept up its knocking. “'Look over the stern,’’ 1 advised him, carelessly. “You’ll probably find something entangled in the paddle.” Hicks favoured me instantly with another of his idiotic starco, a grin of reasonless vacuity, such as one sees on the visages of the primates. Then he shut off the engine and went to work on the pump with a monkey wrench, while the Otium drifted idly on the wave. “1 thought so!” said he, grunting again and peering at me from under has beetling superciliary ridges. “Say, Prof,” he remarked in a tone not a whit less disdainful than that 1 should use in addressing a group of underclassmen; “say, yon ought to get a book of instructions with this patent churn of yoinv. ’ Did you do this?” he inquired, and held up a wad of greasy cotton waste. This gave me a chance to vent my indignation. “See here, Hicks’” said I. “Did you pull that out when it took me a whole hour to pack it in?” Hicks grinned. “Oh, that’s all right! I guessed it was you,” he answered inanely; “no mechanic would be jay enough to pack waste in a pump plunger. ‘’While I’m thinking about it, too,” added Hicks, “the next time you get ntuck on second-hand red engine oil. don’t forget to strain out the iron filings. This grits like a mouthful of sanded strawberries.” Puck! puck! purkety puck! barked the motor; and we ploughed along again. There wore Frmentrmle and Dorothy laughing and chatting; and there was that delayed specimen of the bygone Stone Age! I hadn’t identified him exactly as yet; but Iho moment was coming. And hero was T. too. crouched in the bow, forgotten and alone. 1 looked at nothing, but 1 saw rod. And when I came to, there was the island right under Ik-, and Hick# piling the Otium at full

•peed straight for a beach of jagged rock*. “Ermentrude- hold fast!” I yelled, and braced myself for the shock. Hicks grinned, and reached for the commutator — meaning to reverse her, reverse her, when 1 hail carried away a slice of the wharf lloat and half her bows in the same attempt. I clenched my teeth as the Otium rose buoyantly on a sea; I waited for the crash when she dropped. Thrn.iu through a haze, I saw the fellow do something—i hoke her down — throttle her- something, anyway; and with that flirt of the commutator handle, the fly wheel jerked the other way, and raced backward madly. “Why, just look!” exclaimed Ernientrude. delightedly delighted, mind you, though we had all but stepped inside the maws of destruction. “Why, Mr. ]licks! You must show Henry how you do it.” My wife! and my own boat, too! 1 had no stone axe with me, hut the Stillson wrench looked handy. Indeed. I do believe I reached for it. entranced; hut Hick's arose ami blocked the way. The Otium. meanwhile, had gently gounded. ‘’Not much water here,” said Hicks, and began vahnlv rolling up his trousers. “Well, let’s get 'ashore." There was at least a foot of water under us. and the shore was twelve feet away. ’’Do yon intend to jump it ?” I asked, caustically. “This is no place to land.’* There must have been something strange in my voice that made Er.nentiude look at me so quickly. ‘■•lump it? Why, no,” said Hicks, and thereupon he stepped overboard in a foot of water. And 1-1 am a subject to acute coryza —colds, I believe, is the vulgar term. “Toodles first,” said Dorothy, who was Finding dreamily. So 1 sat there and saw him sack my wife ashore. Yes —and ■when 1 perceived her borne lightly - as lightly as 1 might handle a tome of Lubbock. Schinerling. La riel. or what-not in jny arms —when 1 saw him wade to the shore’s primeval forest with that lair burden in his arms, I awoke, as if a shaft of light had reached my brain. For here was the cave brute reincarnate! Here was the primeval—the Neolithic, at the very least. It had dawned 9n me, at Li-t! lime the primal force and the self-reliance of brute man opposed in all its crudity to the placid, defined, and w dl regulated course of life in this era of the intellect. I looked, and it wouldn’t have surprised ■me to see him leap to the branches of the nearest tree. and. grinning fiendishly. make off with his burden into the depth of the tenebrous woodlands. Hut Hicks, after setting down my wife, returned for Dorothy. “Ta ta! Hank,'* said my sister-in-law; ‘Lee you later!"—and so I saw her. too, lorne away in the arms of the troglodyte. And then the wor.>t affront of all! — this throw back to the Stone Age, boasting his mere animal strength against an intelligence that is heir to all the ages? —“Pick-a-back !” inquired Hicks; and backed up against the rail for me! Oh, I would show him! I waved him away. “Buck up. Prof." said Hicks, and that settled it. 1 stepped overboard—and the water was beastly cold. I had identified the man in his type, -and it was enough. For hours I sat staring hazily as in a dream, prowling in the shade- of a Neo!i:hic fore-I. a stone adze in mv hand, ami hun'ing hunting—■ l.ii.nim; for Hick-! Hicks,’ the troglodyte fellow to the manbvast of a longforgotten age! Yet let me forget. Let it stillice that Ermentrude rune to me that evening, a softening light in her eyes. “It's just been a lovely day,*’ she sighed, ecstatically: “and they're going to have red damask curtains in the drawing room!" M\ attention was centred. ju*t then, on a specimen of amorphous diabase I had chipped from a reef on the island. ‘•Red damask what?" 1 murmured absently. Tie cellular crystallization of the diabase was, indeed, interesting. “Whose red damask drawing room?" Eimen' rude -ighed again. “Dorothy’s fin 1 dim'-." -he -aid. dreamily: “and they’re going to build just as soon as it’s over." The specimen crashed to the tloor. “\- soon as what's over?” “The wedding," answered Ermentrude, mildly astoni-lied at mv evident agitation. “Dotty's got the ring now on her linger, and it’- two diamonds and a pigeon's blood. He brought it with him — dear Jim!” Dorothy—my sister by marriage the Win id it uad my duty to watch over aud

protect—to marry that living left-over from the Stone Age? Impossible! “Marry Hicks! Why, look at him!” 1 cried, horrified. “You can see it your-self—-the prodigious development of the superciliary prominences! — the significant extension of the orbits! —the dolichocephalic structure of ” Words failed me there. “Henry Yivier!” protested Ermentrude, “you are not addressing the lecture room. What is it that you wi-h to say?” “Hicks!” 1 retoited —“Hicks!” —with all the concentrated vigour 1 could put into the single name. “Never! Our little sister!—that relic of the primeval throwback —hang .over! No emblem of the Quaternary man-epoch is going to ” “Toodles!” said Dorothy, entering, “place something cool on Hank’s head, lie’s trying to call my Jim a low-brow and can’t find ths right words.” Then she turned to the door again. “Wrll, perhaps he is . . .perhaps, thank goodness!” said Dorothy as she withdrew. “All right.” said 1 grimly, to Ermentrude; “you two can go ahead. But mark my words: Don’t blame me when you find Dorothy living in a tree top. Or over the palisades in a cave. An I with a troglodyte. I tell you!” “Troglodyte?" repeated* Ermentrude. “Is that the scientific term for—why, what did Dorothy call it?—hustler?” 1 rarely saw the Otium during the days that followed. Perhaps it was best, since ] Jiad learned to hate the tub. Also, 1 rarely saw Ermentrude, because she was busy chaperoning the cave man and his innocent prey. Occasionally. I had a glimpse of them in the distance, while 1 was pattering about the hills on an alleged investigation of the local rock formation.

But all things have an end. A fortnight passed, and then it happened. Instinctively 1 realised it, when I -aw the party land that night-—Dorothy calm and pale: Ermentrude agitated; and Hicks sullen and glowering. Ah. my heart leaped within my breast. “Say nothing, Henry!” whispered my wife, guardedly : and led me to our room. But before she could speak, Dorothy stalked in. looking, in her awakening, like a goddess of the Grecian drama. “Dotty,” said Ermentrude, briskly, “you're a gump!" Dorothy stared icily. “No man shall tell me I must, when 1 won't!" “lie didn't!” exclaimed my wife. “He said you mustn't, when you would!" “It amounts to the same,” retorted Dorothy. “I’m not going to he bossed about. Why, he might try it on me after we were married! If 1 tried to stand it, it would kill me.” There was a most curious expression in Ennent rude's eyes, as she looked at Dorothy beneath lowered eyelids. “Kill you, eh? You’ll adore it -adore it. do you hear me?” “Not for mine!” answered Dorothy, with distinctness. So I saw what had liappenert. The cave man had sought to dominate already. It was a wonder he hadn't felled her with a club and dragged her senseless to his cave, since that was the method of courtship of his own dark “You'll see,” suij Ermentrude, and there was in her speech an almost noble air of prophecy—though, for the life of me, 1 couldn't see what she meant. “Oh. to have some one to dominate you!” murmured Ermentrude and rolled up her (•yes. “To have some one guide with a strong ami forceful hand! Whv, if 1 ” Then Ermentrude seemed to remember something and ceased abruptly. I recovered the Otium —she was mine

again from Thursday, I think, till the following Wednesday. Somehow, too, I felt a sneaking sympathy for Hicks —■ wasted, as I subsequently learned. But he used to sit out on the end of the •wharf, as if waiting for something—■ •waiting and waiting for something that never came. He grew.so thoughtful that I wondered whether he was reflecting on his distant past. Dorothy was quite civil of course, because he was still our guest; but the jewel no longer glittered on her finger with its bright, barbaric splendour. 1 smiled thereat, though presently I began to scowl. For Hicks was getting on my nerves. Why didn’t he go away?—back to his troglodytic home—to Wall Street and its money caves, if he lacked another den? But the fourth day he got down off the stringpiece, and climbed swiftly into the Otium. “Hey! What you doing?” 1 yelled at him: for Hicks had begun to kick the motor with strong and savage kicks. “I’d like to bust your old teapot into junk!” he growled. “She wanted to stick her parasol into the fly wheel, and I wouldn’t let her. Say! can’t you do something to help me?” I strove to hide any unkindness in my tone, but my answer, gentle as it was, was still severe. ‘*on the contrary!” said I. and left him. But what must have hurt even more was Dorothy's icy demeanour. Indeed, Hicks must have gained from her coldness many unhappy reminders of his own perhaps pre-glacial past. But it was a duty to rid Dorothy of his presence. So I spoke to Ermentrude. I'm bound to say her answer astonished me. “Henry Vivier, you don’t know what you’re talking about!*’ said Ermentrude, with that charm of simplicity

which is the greatest jewel of her crown. “You let them alone. He’s going to marry her, if 1 have anything to do with it!” “But the man's come out of the Stone Age!” I protested. “And you’ve plunged back into it!” said Ermentrude provokingly. “You live and breathe and dream only of things a million years old. Some day you’ll hop into a tree lop. and I*ll never see you again.” “My dear!” I replied simply. “I am first assi-tant professor in the Lubbock chair of Palealeogy ! ” "If you were a teacher in a business college,” responded Ermentrude, “you might learn to see through a ladder.” Now what did she mean by that? However. mine was the last word—or nearly so. “I'm going to save Dorothy. Why, any man —any man, I should say, without that primal, bulldog jaw of his—would have left her in peace long ago. Now, 1 am about to get rid of him—to show that mind is always superior to the unregulated forces of mere brute obstinacy.” “What are you going to do?” she demanded quickly. “Never you mind!” I answered and started from the room. Ermentrude's voice still followed me. “If you dare ” My plan required little preparation. 1 found Dorothy under a tree on the lake shore, making a pretence of reading. She turned the pages, to be sure, but her eyes were on a man-shape in flannels, which had perched itself perilously on the of the wharf. Her look I identified as one of fascinated terror. “Dorothy,” said I, “do you wish to go for a sail?” Dorothy thought for a moment and slowly closed her book. “Can you get Home one to start it for you?” she answered, absently. “If we got away from

here, I could help you row it back.** she added, “The Otium, I mean.” L Hicks was still perched on the stringpiece when we got to’the* wharf, lie got up, smiling rather uncertainly, and waited. “Going for a sail?” he chirped, and. tried to catch Dorothy’s eye. “Shan’t I run the engine for you? Or go along to show you how?” His remark instantly extinguished whatever spark of sympathy I felt. ’.’You need not bother,” 1 answered, “I require no aid. So Hicks, cast up high and dry on the shores of civility, lapsed into silence; though 1 didn't care for the way he set his jaw. He tried, too—probably as a last resort—to strike up a truce by offering his help to Dorothy when she stepped into the launch. But my sister-in-law swept by him. her head in the air. Then 1 cast off the lines, pushed away from the wharf and leaned down to start the engine. Dorothy moved restlessly, then got up and handed me the crank. “Thanks! »1 don’t need it!” said I, loudly: for if Hicks could, so could I. Grasping the fly wheel firmly, I rocked it to and fro. just as 1 had seen him do. and then gave it a whirl. Nothing happened. Dorothy suggested that 1 turn on the battery switch, which 1 did instantly. Then 1 tried again, but with a negative result. A little disconcerted by Hick s rude interest. 1 snatched up the ’ crank and. went at it vigorously, in the old familiar wav. Still no result, and 1 was trying again, when Hicks sang out to us: “Dorothy—don't you want to go for a walk instead?” Then I could have hugged my sister-in-law' publicly. “No. thank you, Mr. Hicks! 1 prefer even this.” Then she got up and changed places, so that her back was turned to him. I think 1 kept on cranking for a full five minutes, during which time the boa-t drifted farther and farther from Hie wharf. “It’s no use, l‘m afraid." 1 was saying to Dorothy, when I heard Hicks bawling from the wharf. “Hey. Dotty!" he yelled brutally. “Tell him to turn cm the gasolene. She might go then.” But Dorothy scorned to notice him. “Did you hear what he said? — the brute!” she asked under her breath. “Yes—l heard him!” I growled, while I turned on the pet cock of the gasolene pipe. “Yes —I heard the ill-mannered thug of a remnant of the Stone Age.” I was about to say more, too, when I was aware of Dorothy's face thrust close to mine. “Don't you dare call him names!” she hissed. “Now start that engine—if you can! ” Beally. is should have forewarned me; but the truth is, I was too dumfounded to speak. “Hurry!” said she; and, on this attempt the Otium caught at the first explosion. I heard a loud grunt, which I knew emanated from Hicks, and a loud, discordant burst of derision, which I identified as the cackle of Xavier-Bill. But the wharf and Hicks and that lout of a shore-boy were left behind, and I was alone with my sister-in-la w. “I wish to land on the island.” said Dorothy, after a prolonged silence. “Do you think you know how to stop her.” I almost chuckled with joy. Let me say right here. I had intended from the beginning that she should land there. It was part of my scheme. “Now leave me.” said Dorothy, when, after some manoeuvring and with the aid of an oar. I had beached the Otium near enough for her to jump ashore. “Come back in an hour. I wish to be alone.” That was just as T intended it should be. I started the engine, and. screwing up the motor as far as I dared, I hurried back to the wharf. “Hicks,” said I. to the lonely, solemn figure on the stringpicce. “I came back to apologize. Dorothy's on the island, and I'll take you to her.” It's a marvel the brute didn't upset us by the way he climbed abroad. “Get out of the way.” lie growled fiercely, “and let me run this scrapheap.” I let him, though I'm bound to say it was not a polite return for my politeness —my apparent politeness, L should say. But I effaced myself silently and the way that engine throbbed and kicked and heaved and snorted on its course down the lake would have appalled even Jim Bludso himself. But we got there safely, and Hicks waded ashore before the boat had stopped. I was glad of that; 1 thought, at first, ho was going to run the Otium up into the woods. But as Hicks had left the commutator set for speed astern

I started her that way, not daring to fool with it until. I was out of his reach. “Hey! you're coining back, aren't you?’ The boat was going then, and I waved to him mockingly— it was going, though going backward. “Ta, ta,!” 1 called jocosely. “I’ll be back—Oh, yes! I'll be back in about nine hours!” But instead of leaping in after me, Hicks stared with his mouth wide open and seemed to comprehend. Then, with a shout of laughter, he turned and plunged among the trees. But other thoughts presently occupied my mind. Something had gone wrong with the commutator, as 1 found out when I tried to start the engine forward. It went backward well enough, so I succumbed to the inevitable; and then the Otium preeveded homeward, going stern fust, and wobbing to and fro because the rudder wouldn't hold her. A quarter of a mile from the float she made a wild swoop. <\\ung around til! she pointed back to the island, and ploughed for it backward. After that, I cared nothing what might happen to Hicks and my sister-in-law. The rudder had broken loose! I think I lost my head. . . . But at sunset Xavier-Bill saw me. and came out to help row her in. Which was a private arrangement 1 had ma le with him. Ermentrude was waiting on the float. “Where’s Dorothy?’’ she demanded nervously. once we were within hailing distance. 1 waited, before answering, until I had th<* Otium tied up at the

float. “Be still, Ermentrude,’’ said I; “be still. As soon as I have this wretched tub tied up for the la*t time 1 shall over tie her up. I will speak, to you. Please go to your room.*’ So Ermentrude went, thinking, I believe. that Dorothy had fallen overboard and resolved not to make a scene. A moment later, 1 followed. “Henry! where is niy "i-tergasped my wife. “On the island.” I answered and complacently sat down. “On the island! What is she doing there?*’ cried Ermentrude. It required some minutes to make myself clear to her. “I may say krmentrude that I warned you I would settle this. Hicks and Dorothy an* alone on that uninhabited isle, and before nightfall she will have settled her problem for good.” Ermentrude peered at me closely. “W hat in the world do you mean?'’ she demanded. “Then you do wish them to be happy? Oh. Henry you dear old matuh-makcr!” With some difficulty I kept Ermentrude from throwing herself into my arms. “On the contrary.’’ I letorted crisply. “Xow listen to me!'’ 1 sat bacii and folded my hands. “Your sister Dorothy has lacked the force to get rid of him. Under conventional surroundings, she has not been aide to see tin' man’s elementary and savage nature. I am trying to show it to her. I have marooned them together on this wild, desert island—in a wilderness which is hi* natural habitat: “<» that she may see him in his true state, without the background of civilising influences. Do you follow me?’’ “Not for more than three or lour syllables,” answered Ermentrude and

Brought her chair a little closer. “Whit are you driving at?” “Simply this,* I answered. “Hicks is a caw man—but Dorothy couldn’t see vhat he was. On that desert isle, however, he will revert instantly to his native barbarism. Alone with him, amid that waste ui the forest primeval, she will know him—and she will bp saved. Now do you follow me?” “But—” faltered Ermontrude. “You can read about Hicks,” said T, definitely. ”in Lyell, Aiuic Bone, SchatVhaus<»n. Lartel, and others. Fuhlrott, also—l must not forget Fuhlrott !” And Ermentrude's reply only showed me again how little she grasped the scientific. “Well, of all the idiots—” and then, as if with an afterthought, “I’pon my Foul!” Presently Erment rude laughed — hysterically, I thought laughed, and, when she had composed herself, reached forward and laid her hand on my arm. ‘‘Henry—l can never thank you. It was the one way to solve it—the only way! ” So it had seemed to me, and I nodded •—rather complacently, too, I think. But I had yet t«> learn, it seems, the curious obliqueness of my wife’s nature. “Y?r,” said Ermentrude, half whispering it with her eyes rolled to the ceiling. “He will take charge of her. He will make her comfortable and guard over Jier and keep her safe. To he alone and on a desert isle with out like Inm! FHi” icxidaimed Ermentrude and Tolled up her eyes again. “With a cave man?” 1 gasped, horrified. “Yes —«, cave man! One that would manage and direct ami labour. To guide me— to make me do what I wanted to do, when 1 said T didn’t want to. To advise ami to lead doininently—oh, how I'd love it! Whv, when 1 sop won with your nose buried in a. hook —Well, never mind!” Ermentrude clasped her hands over her knees and rocked herself gently, looking upward again. “A cave man--and alone—alone on a desert isle. Oh!” Her remarks, though cryptic, seemed fo have gone far enough. “Look here, Ermentrude!” 1 said. “The first moment he saw you, he’d probably fell you with a club!” Ermentrude stopped rocking long enough to whimper, "Even so!” “Anyway,” 1 observed tartly, “before I go back for him, the black Hies and •midgee will probably have eaten him alive.” Ermentrude stopped rocking instantly “I hadn't thought of that!” she cried, excitedly. “And Dorothy, too.” I hadn't thought of that, either, It seemed to place the matter at ia somewhat ditTerent angle. 1 think I sat, back nervously. My wife struggled to her feet and pointed a finger at me. on get up out of that chair, Henry Vhier!” said she, with a Ipajestie directness that 1 have since learned to look for nervously. “Instantly!” I tried to calm her, but in vain. “What do you wish me to do, Ermentrude? “Row!” said Ermentrude. ‘’You got into a bon I ami row after them at once. If you don’t ” I am unable to say what she wished to convey by the unfini-hed sentence. Perhaps it was her manner that was the more signficant. “But my back! And you know how I hate rowing. Now Xavier Bill for a quarter “Go!” said Erment rude, and I went. H was after sunset when I reached the island; ami I could see nothing. But that didn’t matter. 1 could feel—rather painfully, too; because each blister on any lacerated palms burned with a fierce, separate agony. Perhaps I should have made better time bad not the midges tortured me—with a frightful torture that Ermentrmlc's refusal to let XavierBill do the rowing had brought upon me.

Bm I got to the inland at last. As J drew in toward it, I thought 1 saw a dark shape, something like a raft or a float—or perhaps one of those coracles of the early Picts, such as one finds in investigating the Ardkellin tumuli of Roscommon. My paper read before the •Society is 4m tort a ini ng and if — But 1 digress. I saw this shape close to the mainland, a few hundred yards away and I thought two figures arose from it ami walked off in the dark, where the road conics down to the water. But drawing my boat to the beach, I began calling foi tfnllv.

There war no reply ; so [ shouted again ••Very curious,” Raid I. when there came Bo answering shout ; and then, as 1 peered up the darkening path, a little gleam

of fire caught my eye. I started for it cautiously. , There, at the base of a tree, was a smouldering pile of bark and punk-wood —‘a smudge, 1 saw, to keep off the flies and midges. Hah! I had chanced upon the spot where the eave man had made his lair. Afore cautiously, I made my way toward it, aud, as I thrashed around stumbling over twigs and logs in the dark, a little scrap of white paper pinned against the tree bole caught my eye. It was a fly leaf of Dorothy’s novel, and on the face of it were a few scribbled words. “Dear Hank—” T spelled out that much. Dorothy! ami she had written it with the cave man’s pencil! Kicking the smudge into a blaze, I leaned down and read. “Dear Hank:—Tell Toodles not to worry, dim decided not to wait till you learned how to run the scrapheap. So he built a lovely raft of driftwood and tied it together with ropes made of his flannel coat. I can trust him to take me anywhere; so we’ve gone over to the village to get a plain, gold band. And a minister. If you are still out rowing” -—(the rowing was underscored) —” if you’re still out rowing when we go to the camp for our things, we’ll break the news to Toodles. And do come soon to visit us in our cave. Jim and I will wait in the top of the first tree to the right. Aff’y’ Dotty.” I have not seen Hicks, as yet. Indeed, I do not, care to see him, somehow.