Modern Society Fables.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLIV, Issue 17, 27 April 1910, Page 47

Modern Society Fables.

THE WIFE WHO ALSO PLAYED, AND THE MORAL THEREOF.

(By’

DOROTHY DIX.

•‘The Society Fables” of Miss Dix are vdl known in America, and their sheer ludicrousne»s and fun. will doubtless appeal to many leaders here. Their peculiar style i> American of the American, but for those who don’t despise a little nonsense they aie not without merit. • Once upon a time a Nifty Youth wooed a Beauteous Maiden, and won her for his bi ide. and their Wedding was largely attended by Fashionable Society, although everyone felt that it Lacked interest. because it was a First offence for each of the High Contracting Parties. “ Quito Amateurish, my dear, not a single i)i\<»rce in it,” whispered the women 10 each other. ” Not a thing in his Past worth repeating. by dove!” .-aid the men. “Of i-our-c it i-n‘l. Smart for a married couple to be so Much in Love with each other as taey are,’* sighed their Friends, ‘•for in our most Exclu-ive Circles, Hus band- and Wives are seldom <ven on Speaking Terms with each other." “Shocking tad form.” commented others, “but what ran you expect of th* New Rich who have only had their Aloney Seven 'tears. When they have had an An-<-:ral Fortune that i- Still in tin* Family after Twenty ears, as oar- :-. they will be Employing Private Detective- and Butler- who keep Di.tr-

“ Let us Tru-t so.” exclaimed a pessimist, “but I. for one, consider it BEASTLY BAD TAsTE FOR A MAN IO Kl<s ms OWN WIFE.” Notwithstanding these dark prophecies the Young Couple continued to be Gloriously Radiant, for they were Deeply in •Bove, and resolved to make Matrimony a Glad, Sweet Song. They tilted themselves up a lovely villa in which they gave Living Picture Exhibitions ot How to Be Happy Though Married, and as they would sit by the Evening Electrolier the Husband would Read aloud while the Wife did Fan y Work, and they would wonder how they could ever have thought it Fun to Frivol away their Time in going to Parties or hot-footing it up and down town.

“ Home, Home, Sweet Home fur ours,» the Young Hits band would 44 he

struck a Noble Attitude, in the midst of his Wedding Presents. “There is nothing so Beautiful and Elevating a- Home, Sweet Home.” But after a lime the Wholesome and Nutritious Roast Beef and Potatoes of the Family table sort of palled on hvs

Appetite, ami he pined for Lob-ter amt Champagne. Al-u he found him-rh drip ping to sleep over the 'Thrilling Game ot Pino, hie that iie and Milie play 'd Even Night, the while he wondered if the B iy-i were -till silling around a Ja-.kp >t a ", A.M. (.Oliver-.itioii likewi-. lev.ui t<» languish becau.-v he and hi- Wife liao told each other everything they Knew, and they got -<» that they fell with Joy on the nevk of any Bore thai eim. ic call of an evening. Under the-e • .r. um<lanee-. wln-h aie not New to the Student <>! ijistmy. it was not Lmg before the man began t<» make Sneak- of an Evening and to put up to his Wife Plau-ihlt- Fairy Stones about H W ING TO MEET \ M W ON BI’MNE>S. or .-it up with a sick Friend, but the Wife, who hail cut her Wisdom Teeth already, did not fall for these Ancient Gags worth a cent. “How is it.” -hr -aid, “thai you spend your evenings abroad, for I thought, you were strong for the Home Nv-t Theory?” “L am,” replied the llus)>and. “1 think there is No Place like Home for a Wo man. and it is a source of Great Plw sure to me to know th.it I have placed you Safe in your Nest, where no Harm can befall you. As for me, being a man, things are Different, and it is Necessary that 1 should Mix with the Crowd and Brighten myself up.” These words greatly grieved the Wife, and she shed many bitter (care during the Long Evenings when .she w.is left* aiuue al huuie, while her hiubaud

was bitting things up. Perceiving at last, however that DOMESTIC HYDRAULIO HAD NO EFFECTS. she turned off the tear duet-. ami pinning on her Hat she fared forth among the Millinery ami Dressmaking -hop-. *T have a hunch,” she -aid to lier-elf, ‘ (hat Home has 10-t Interest for m; llusband Iwcau-c Domestic Life lacks Excitement and longer, ami -«» if 1 want to Hold him. it is up to me to give him a Run for his Money.” So the next evening when her busband telephoned from the office that he had been Unexpectedly Detained by Business, instead of tearing ot! a Wail and handing him a Bunch of Hot Reproaches, she merely repin'd in a cheerful voice: ‘•Very well. It’s Really a Lucky Coincidence. because some Friends have just Invited me to go with them to the 'I heat re and to Supper afterward, am; I had accepted, although I bate I the idea of leaving you at Home Alone.”

Then -be bung up the receiver before he could a-k her any <pie-ii »i-. anil. although bo Won in the litiV game that be Sat in that night, -onr iiow he did not Enjoy it. A t. he .-hoilld lilVc been I’••rfcrtly Happy, for dl 1 ERE WERE \o Mold . t i RTA 1 N I.Et Tl RE>, No mailer how L.i;.- be Siay.-d out. N'»r did be have to m\ lit l?\.n-e- to get away ot an evening. On tie- contrary, bi- \\ ite alwav- app ,, H> , d \iixions to Hii-th him oIT. an I when In- ,t home he generally found her jii-' removimr her ( ororn-; Braid b.-fore the Mirror, aml tha t lie wa - ba i I \ in time to mi hook her I.a t e-t I’a ri- (i ea ion. Il did mH l i];i- mm h of t !•< t u him going, for it j. ul|l . tbiim for a man to Enjoy him-elf in the Guy World, and \noth«r for him to km w that hi* Mile i- Elljoyill_l lu-r-e’f tlel about-, ami so it was mo |oi;o before I tie bus hand went to hi- wife and lliu- ad drr--ed her: “I I ■ Ir. ’ he -aid. “1 ’ll I W e lie \ j looting our Home, and I be-in to pine once more for the Qui ■! add |’ri\ae\ of our Own little N’e-t.” ‘■ < o do 1.” i.j.lie I Hl M im. “ami I v. ill l.e Glad to lly bark to the Dometic Perth if yon will bear me eninpanv, but i do ii d propo-e to R0.,-t th r-

‘‘l was a SclTi.-b Brute in ever Desert you,” returned the Husband, “but 1 only did it Lu Find out ii my Wiug<

wore Merely clipped or really Cut off by Matrimony, ami now that I know that I can Fly 1 ,un content to remain in the Dove Cote.” My Mings are also in the -ame Usable t omlit ioi»,” casually remarked the wife. But thereafter the Hu-Laml remained a Pattern of Dome-t icit v. for it tak- - the Snap out of opening ( bam pagne for ( hmm- Girl- to Wonder if your Wife i- Nibbling on a Bird and a >nia!l hottie with a Gay Party al the Pazaza. MORAL: Thi- Fable teaches that there are More Way- than One to Nail a Man to bi- own Hearth-tone.