Our Funny Page

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLIV, Issue 1, 5 January 1910, Page 72

Our Funny Page

NOT MUGH BY THE DAY. Lady—“ Wliat! Thirty-eight cents a Amen for eggs! Why, that's more than three cents for one egg!” Grocer—“ Well, mum, you must remember that one egg is a whole day’s work for one hen.” HER POINT OF VIEW "Don’t you like that quotation from Shakespeare: ‘The friends thou 'hast and their adoption tried, grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel’ ?” lie asked. soulfully. “I think hoops of gold would be better,” said the summer girl, shyly. Fancier: “This dog, madam, would be die.ap at £20.” Lady: “1 would take him; but I’m afraid my husband might object.” Fancier: “Madam, you can get another husband much easier than a dog tike that.”

THE PROPAGANDA SPREADS. to the little brown hen said the big red rooster: "You don’t lay eggs as often as you useter.” And the little brown hen said: “No you bet! I’d have you to know I’m a suffragette!** —“Life?’ HE PASSED. “Good-night,” said Staylate. “I’va enjoyed myself immensely. Now, next Sunday night I—er—expect to pass your house, and —” ■‘That will be nice. Good-night!” And she shut the door. LANGUAGE OF EDEN. He (looking at the catalogue of women’s styles)—“They still use the language of the iirst fashion plate, don’t they ?” His wife —“What do you meant* He—Fig. 1, Fig. 2, and so on.” AVOIDED EXTREMES. “Is she happy in her married life?* “Well, at first she couldn’t make up her mind whether to be happy and have a lap-dog or unhappy and have a divorce; bo she compromised and had a bahx.” IN A HAMMOCK. Two in a hammock Tried to kiss, Qnic.kly landed ism T . . —Lippincott a. HOME-COMING. He came home late with an awful grouch (His wifey’s look was grim), Then he kicked because his meal was cold — So she made it warm for him. “Jack sent me a handsome mirror for my birthday.”—“Oh, that accounts for it.”—“Accounts for what?” —“Yesterday he asked me if a woman ever got too old to be pleased with a looking glass.”

Enraged flabby: (to Taxi-driver, after a very near shave) : “Another word and I’ll smash your fare's ’cad!”

Rhe: “ But, seriously, doe-n’t your wife object to us been seen together M >uch ?” lie: “M'no. What worries her Is when we’re not seen, you know."

“Once more unto the beaeh, dear friends.—On, on, you noblest English!” (With apologies to the Immortal William.),

‘Bai Jove! I made the feathers fly that time.” “Ay, sir, richt enough. They flew aw»’ wi’ the bird I’’