The New Surgery.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLII, Issue 16, 21 April 1909, Page 38

The New Surgery.

(Hi. ho! says Mike* Maloney, as l.e comes out from the place Where they tinker up the organs of tie “sub” and human race: I’ve got two logs as good as those I had when I was born. And inside organs almost new —my old were quite well worn. They’d been in ice cold storage for nigh on thirty <lays, (Those doctors do for certain have some mighty funny ways!) They tell me that my stomach was a German Jew’s when new, And my liver the possession of a man who wore a queue. A chorus girl's had been the heart for ever more to heat it hin my manly bosom, above my sober Ami in place of floating kidneys, I have anchored hard and fast, A pair which an old lady had found useful in the past. I am all equipped for living. (1 forgot to say. my leg Was taken from a drunken fool whose business was to beg.) And so —I’m starting fresh to make my way among the crowd, And win a reputation of which I may be proud. W hat’s this! 'This leg is taking me—of all things!—to a door, And forcing me to beg a meal! I-never

But what am 1 to ask for? My own old palate yearns For mini and eggs and sausage, but my Jewish stomach turns. It cries for kosher victuals and things with goose grease fried, I couldn’t get them down my throat, however hard I tried! My heart, perplexed, is pounding hard, when, what is this I see? A pretty girl with Hying curls is making eyes at me! Alas! Alas! I can’t respond! I used to once, 1 know’—

But now my woman’s heart is on the look-out for a beau! Good heavens! What am I to do, with all these mixed up parts? These male and female organs, transplanted legs and hearts? This blend of Jew ami Gentile, Mongolian and Celt, Which in this doctor's shuttle the devil must have dealt. I'll go to Dr. Carrell, and get some crossbreed brains, To match the situation and keep it well in reins 1 —Frances C. Stimson.