The Club Smoking Room

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLII, Issue 1, 6 January 1909, Page 5

The Club Smoking Room

By

HAVANA

80 many members had gone out of town for a few days’ holidays that the smoking-room was almost deserted. The members most deserted. Two members were sitting on one of the small tables comparing notes on the races. “ 1 reckon.’’ said one. “ that I just about cleared expenses, and l*ai.l for a couple Of nights at the theatre. I went to see ‘Miss Lancashire, Limited,’ and it is a long time since I have laughed so much at anything as I laughed at that. It really most awfully good. Miss Baines yas simply splendid. The only thing that anyone could have found fault with was the introduction to Tosti's ‘‘Goodbye.’ into what was a pure farce. It seemed a bit out of place, and something comic would have been more suitable. Mi-s Baines acted the part of the Lancashire lass to perfection, and the broad dialect seemed to come quite natural to her.” © © © “She Was all right." replied the other member, “ but the rest of the people were very weak. I thought. There were cons derable possibilities in the other parts, but except the lawyer chap no one seemed to take full advantage of them. Where you have a star actress, who makes the piece, you often find that the others don’t bother much, but are quite content to let lier make the running. I must say that it is rather a thankless job to have to play seeotfcl fiddle, and sitter all. it didn’t* affect the success of the piece much. I had had“a pretty trad day at the races, and I wanted something to cheer me up. I ■wonder what has become of everyone. Most of our chaps seem to have departed with their loving spouses, and numerous kids to enjoy the wild delights of the seaside. They put up with all the discomforts of a furnished cottage, and scratch meals under the impression that they are going to enjoy themselves, and they are generally most devoutly thankful to get back to town again. I’m afraid I don’t appreciate the luxury of billy-tea and fried chops. I prefer a good dinner at the club, and a game of billiards or something afterwards.” © © © “For us people,” said a local booksel--1-“ there isn’t much holiday at this 1 tie. I have been busier this season • tn ever before. So many people leave f buying of a Christmas present till the L-t minute, and then they decide to 1. a book as lieing a safe sort of thing to ve, and they come to you to select it for item. It is awfully funny to listen to ~ieir descriptions of tiie different people they wtnt to buy b >oks for. I'ue young i ly sail she want ’d a book for an aunt. The aunt was religious, but ji too -ligious; she lik. -i something il p, but mted it also a little humor- < s; .ho appf. ■ at>’d goo 1 literature, but < ’.n’t want too dull. •• You know the s t of book 1 want,’ the niece went on, *- unthing «:> six or seven shillings. . mt’s rather r any. and doesn’t care r ut everythir j. but you’ll be able to j I something - ’ike-.’ What can a i ’W do in a c.i ■of that sort? Newi ii’s Via Media mid suggest by its tie a sort of n '• between extremes e h as apparently his aunt desired.” © © © ” When I come to ' wn,” put in a coimt. ' member, ‘"I always lay in a stock c- light reading to take back to the wild*

with me, but I generally give the bookseller a pretty free hand in the matter. I told one man to mix me up a bundle of papers, and I got three religious journals, four copies of the Winning Post, two Penny Pulpits, three copies of the Pink ’Un, half-a-dozen halfpenny comics, and three penny novelettes. 1 read bits from all of them except the sermon part of the business. Those came in handy for the wife, however. I fancy we are going to have a pretty good time as far as farming is concerned during tire next year. Things have been looking v.p a lot lately, and the recent wool sales have panned out better than any of us thought. A good season means prosperity to you city chaps as well as to us country fellows, because when we have good times we circulate our money pretty freely.” © © © “You country chaps always have a good time.” replied a visitor from the other side. “It is us poor fellows sweltering in the heat of a stuffy office in the city who are to be pitied. You are your own masters, get up when you like and go to bed when you like. You don't have any frantic rush for tram or train like we have, and you are able to eat your breakfast in peace without having to keep one eye on your watch and the other on your plate all the time you are eating. You spend half your time loafing round your place' pretending to be busy inspecting your stock, or patching your fences, and when you have got a good fat clieque for the sale of your produce you come up to town for the holidays and have a royal time of it. \Ve poor devil* in the city sliye away from morning titl night all the year round, and consider ourselves lucky if we can scrape together enough to get a fortnight at the seaside once in a blue moon.” © © © “Don’t you make any mistake.” answered the previous speaker. “You take a hand at milking some of these days and see if it is the lazy life vou trv to make

out. When you city folk are comfortably tucked up in bed between your warm blankets we are trudging about in mud and slush trying to get the cows in. The comfortable breakfast you so poetically describe more often than not consists of stewed tea, and indigestible steak hastily fried in a frying-pan. You probably have only seen a farm in the summer time, when the fruit is ripe and you get plenty of strawberries ami cream. You just go up for a month or two in the winter, when the roads are like quagmires, and you can hardly stir outside the place, and see how you like it then. You will find it isn’t all beer and skittles being a farmer, and you would jolly soon wish yourself back in the city again with its tramcars and its well lit streets. I don’t know much about New South Wales, where you come from—things may be ditTererit over there —but 1 should just like tu take you to some of our out back settlements after a fortnights steady rain has churned the roads up a bit—[ l»et you would sing a different tune then. But still we have and we generally enjoy good health, which is more than a great many towns-people do. 1 haven’t had a day’s illness for over thirty years..”