Musings Meditations

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLI, Issue 26, 30 December 1908, Page 2

Musings Meditations

By

Dog Toby

The Waning of the Year.

THEY had both suffered, he perhaps more than she had. For in the long ago they had walked hand in hand, they had sworn them-

selves to love,, all the long, idle summer days had they wandered by mead and stream, and sea, dreaming as the young alone can dream Of unchanging days of happiness and trust. That was in the olden time: summer passed, wintry days came on, the old trust was gone, the leafless tree stood barren to the wind. And he would wander again by the old familiar places, worship again in the memory-hallowed village church, and on the lonely hill he would pray to God in the hgony of his soul that his grief of heart might be forgiven and healed by the tender pity of the shepherd of mankind. <S> «■

For there had come between them the shadow of mistrust. She could not divine the depth of his love for her, she could not realise the intensity of the nature that was outwardly so reserved. She distrusted herself, she was still but a child, and her eimple heart could not understand the attraction that she possessed for him. It seemed to her that other women must surpass her in charm and in accomplishments, she thought he would be happier with someone else who would be cleverer and more fascinating than herself. Yet she loved him, and, loved him dearly, and because, she loved him she wished to set him free. Poor child, she did not know that when a man loves there is but one woman in all the world for him, and that that one woman possesses- in his eyes e”ery grace, the gods can give.' There were none to tell her this, and because there were none ,to tell she never knew. <S> •$> <S> And he could not understand how he could appeal to a heart like hers. To him she was the perfection of all that in woman is adored; every little movement, every little individual action, every detail of her dress and manner possessed for him an indefinable charm. How was he worthy so divine a love, lighting his midnights, brightening all his dawns; how could it be possible that she could really care ? And he reflected that she was but a child; that, perhaps she didn’t really know her mind; that others more handsome, wealthier, more deserving than himself would offer for her hand; and because of this, and because he didn’t understand a woman’s heart, for her sake he wished to leave her free. And she, being a woman, saw the change, but said nothing. She could not divine the cause; to her it was herself that was at fault. He was being attracted from her by others, he was looking for more than she could give. And there was another whom she did not love, but who seemed to bring her comfort at the time. And she let herself drift into a sort of half-engagement, and she laughed and jested with this other, jested because her heart was nearly broken. And neither knew the truth. So the days wore on, and he thought she was a heartless flirt, and he cherished bitter thoughts, not knowing that the fault was his. And just because ne cared so much, he wished to seem as if he did not care at all. He, too, tried to find comfort in another; he would show that he also could forget, but neither of them could really forget, and all unknown to each other they were l»oth silently longing for the past. The old year was passing, summer days were come again. He thought of all the year ha-> meant to him. It had seen the pawning of his love, it had witnessed the unfolding of his nature, its early days, so bright with sunshine, had seemed to him ah emblem of his own joy. Thou had come the falling of the leaf, afid spring and early summer,

which brought all else to life, had found his heart withered. He lay by the sea watching the milky sails moving to their haven under the hill, the calm of evening lay all round him, the vesper bell came with the thought of God over the ripening fields.- All bitter thoughts passed away, and he prayed half-aloud, “O God, help me, but I did love her so.” And all unknown to him his prayer was already answered. She had wandered also to the same spot; she had heard his agonised cry. Her two arms were round him, her head was sunk upon his breast, and she murmured softly, “Dearie, forgive me, but I never knew.” It was still the waning of the' year for others, out for these two the New Year had already dawned. • '