Thoughts on Airnots.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLI, Issue 18, 28 October 1908, Page 34

Thoughts on Airnots.

AND ALSO ON THE HIGH PASSENGER RATES FOll BALLOON TRAVEL. llashiiniira Togo, in “Collier’s Weekly. I am given to understand by newspaper information that Right Bros., famous airnots, has solved problem of air navigation again by very delicious wreckage. Them Right Bros, fly-tests is always shot oil - with entire secrecy, so that Japanese navy won't be there to represent itself. This time them skyboat nianoever were witnessed by less than two thousand! persons, mostly reporters, inventors & foreign powers, who seen very nicely from hushes twentyfive miles away where they was hid out of range of lion. Rights shoot-gun. New airship of Right Bros, is called Mm! Hen IL because them crafts should all be named after some bird what they act like. Hon. Bell's airboat are called “White Wings” because they never grow weary of trying to. The Mud Hen II are a 6-cylinder, runabout type of airoplane built on model of 3 pancakes and worked with strings which Hon. Right have attached to thumbs & toes. To start them ship Hon. Right lays himself on stummick and runs the engine with his teeth. When be wish to go up he raise elbows and l depresses toes. When he wish to come down be stand on his head. On this trip Right Bros, start navigating from Killed Devil Hill, which is in Southern States. After considerable scion t Hick prepare them ship were seen to make following (‘motion: 1 It went up. 2 It came down. After successful flight Orville Right were found comfortably setting on his airship in middle of Elkins swamp. Except for 2 wings fraxured, engine twisted off, propeller gosu* & framework on fire, them machinery landed without a mishap. Hon. Right were congratulating himself by shaking hi< broken hand. I am merely pleased that aireal navigation w ill be very cheap sport for poor mans. Hickory wood are cheap, canvas are cheap, nails are cheap & life arc cheap. All them is necessary for one good airship. You can borrow ] gas engine from another automobile. Next choose some bird what look safe & intelligent & built your fly-machine to resemble it. Tf you admire for pidgeons, then built one pidgeon-toe airplane. If you think them hawks is most pleasant fliers, all well; then make a hawkish airboat. Nail all them airship together with considerable canvas & light hickory corners, fasten on them gas engine what you have borrowed, carry such machinery to vacant plains & teach it to II v like the bird what you admire most much. All airships can fly. but some of them is very hard to teach. Last yesterday 1 was taking a feetv alk by lonesome hill if Berkeley. Among daisy-cup grassy of steep slope I seen some machinery in attitude of mechanical expectation. Tt were a very crosslooking machinery like a bisiekel whose mother was a sailboat. Several Hon. Professors were standing around to on-

courage lion. Airnot with statistik about dying for science. Hon. Airnot speak of relatives in Kansas City and regret sinful youth with considerable paleness. “What you so tremble for?” eject Professor with Ben Tillman expression “Are it possibly that you are afraid to go up?” “O earnestly no!” collapse them Airnot “I are entirely fearless about going up, but it are thoughts of going down what give me them quaker feeling at elbow.” More excitable preparation then. One Professor arrive with tex-book entitle, “How Do It to Fly”; yet some other bring telescope to see him long off. One medical Doctor was also present with

muck-rakes, etc., so as to scrape them Airnot off trees in ease of. Nervous tense enjoyed by all. So Hon. Airnot say farewell speak to persons present, including Hon. Wife who was in Chicago. He also mention several technical terms with considerable emotion & all scientists present weep with eyes. Next he place self carefully to seat with assistants of one Irish man what was there merely to labor. Silence for pulses. “Are you ready?” inquire Hon. Professor with voice. “Are!” response them birdy heio. “Then go it!” suggest Hon. Professor. Awful breathlessness. Hon. Airnot with brave grasp of wrist throw handle-crank

to start engine. Nothing happen. Surprise from all. Hon. Airnot then speak automobile language & pull more crankwheel with thumbs. Complete indifference from them engine. “Chaloric energy are hypnotized,” say one Scientist who supposed he knew. “You have forgot-it to put in gasolene,” corrode Irish man what was there to labour. “So have!” say Airnot. So Hon. Gasolene was poured to engines with ca n. Once more prepare to start. Hon. Airnot take seat. Quick jerk to crankhandle. O banzai! Whirr of angry rages from engine. Entire fly-machine get palpitation to resemble rooster severed from its brains. Irish man

give shove, & entire bird-boat motor along ground on bisiekel wheels. More fast & more faster it go, kicking up pebbles in frantick enjoyment, some time rising to astonishy hight of J inch, now & yet bumptious to large stone and appearing anxious to fly, but not sure how; till of suddenly it make very restful flop against fence-post & stop desiring to continue. Loud shouting from all Aero Clubs present. “I ask to know,” I require, “for why does all make such pagan noise of glad“For following reason,” deerop one Professor, “because aireal navigation are solved.”

“All airships is modelled to resemble some kind of birds,” I say for interview. “Some to resemble sparrows, some to resemble hawk—what species of birdy are this fly-boat modelled to resemble?” “It are modelled to resemble a ostrich,” say Hon. Airnot, picking up seme fingers he lost. “But a ostrich are not able to fly,” 1 suggest. “Neither are this airship,” say Hon. Airnot in whispering voice so as U.S. Govt, might not overheard. So all sujurn to Airo Club banquet with exception of Hashimura Togo & Hon. Irish which was not invited. We sat together on grassy hill, for slight conversation about human progress. “Of surelv, Mike.” sav Irish with

smoke-pipe of dangerous shortness, “Air-shipping are a grand sporty.” “It are still a low-down science,” I n angle. “Why a package of fools should do it, I am willing to be searched,” he dib. “They spend I,ooo’s of dollar to make such a mechanical rooster what we seen this afternoon. They work for 2 year to nail it together, they hire famous Airnot from Kansas City, they get names in paper & all Science must stop thinking about serious things because they are so excited. Then great day arrive. All ready—whoof! $6,000 airboat make flopping emotion and go bust by fence-post. Everybody happy to go home & construpt more airboats.”

“Great things of Korld are built in them way,” I corrode for dignity. “Southern Pacifick Railway were not built in thent way, you can bet it,” say Irish. “It will be a cheap way to travel in future.” I nudge. “It are not cheap way to travel in present,” recry that Hon. Irish. “By counting up all axidents, break-ups, refusals to go, unwillingness to stay up when started there, etc., it are computed by Scientists that airships has cost 1000 dol. for- every yard they has flew through air.’” “Such an expensive ear-fare!” 1 derange. "Hates like them should be regulated by Congress,” negotiate Hon. Irish, collecting together fractional pieces of airhip what was strewed apart over hillide.

Miss Evelyn Goode, the new authored was born April 14th, 1877. at Canowie Station. South Australia. Ganowie is a not<xl sheep run of which her father, I honias Goode, now ofMintadloo Farrell’s Fiat, was for twenty-five years manager. She received her first schooling at Can o "’ o Provisional School. At the age of fourteen she went to boarding school at Miss Adamson’s Collegiate School for Girls, Norwood, and subsequently attend'd the Advanced School for Girls, Adela.de. On leaving Canowie the family lived for live years in Adelaide, and then removed to Clare, her father then being general manager of the estate of Mr. J. 11. Angus, the millionaire pastoralist. Country life gave better opportunities for reading and writing, and it was during her twenty-fourth year that the idea for the novel on which she has now produced first occurred, though the theme was not matured til] five or six years later. J n the meantime she wrote a nu mber of short stories, three of which were published in Australian periodicals. On June Bth, 1906, sin* married Crawford Vaughan, M.P. for district of Torrens. ‘Since then she has been residing at her old home, Wellington Road. Maylands. Miss Goode is very fond of riding, shooting, and all outdoor exercise.