Wise and Otherwise

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLI, Issue 10, 2 September 1908, Page 54

Wise and Otherwise

By

M NeUon one of the most conservative places you could get into. It has veil been named ‘.sleepy hollow/ and Napier is another.” Thus Mr. Rosser at the meeting of the Trades and Labour Council, and the pronouncement suggests a charming tableau, in which the naval and military heroes who made famous those historic names are arraigned before the Majesty of labour. Having one of his ilk in our midst, brave Napier of Magdala, it may be surmised, will be adequately defended; but what of Nelson? A brother shell-back to the rescue as arbiter between the man of deeds and the man of worcts— Dear Mr Rosser, — We Would like to have you sec. That the naval lietfo of the British nation, Who asp!red to so nmch fame, Had an aspirate to his name So you must not spell “Horatio” — “ora- ' tion!*’ -& © © Seeing that imitation greenstone is imported as glass—simply glass, and nothing more—the Customs authorities have no power to refuse admission to the transparent fraud; but surely something might be done to protect the innocent purchaser. Most folks will remember the advice given to a dweller in cities, who, while rusticating, enquired from his host- how to distinguish between the edible mushroom and the deceptive toadstool: "Eat it. and if you die it’s a toadstool!” For this reason I hesitate to advise that the trinket of doubtful origin should be jumped upon—it is metals that receive their hall mark by means of a stamp—and suggest that an effort be made to pawn k. # © There is a saying translated from the Spanish which exhorts one to go to one’s friends for advice, to strangers for help, and to relations for nothing; yet ‘‘"uncle” is at times a very sympathetic relative. and a verypresent help in time of trouble. Under the circumstances alluded to in the preceding paragraph, 1 can imagine the avuncular counsellor—“l much regret, my verdant friend. 1 cannot take this pledge; .Although most willingly I’d tend. Were it what you allege. Fortune, wo know'* a fickle jade. Mis fortune is your share; I know just where this sluff was made, Your ‘jade’ is false, but fair." & © © The somewhat heated controversy between Mr. Wil ford and the executive of the Rotorua Rod and Gun (Tub as to the existence or non-existence of starving Maoris, and the means of subsistence of those who do not starve, tempts one to enquire whether or not the fish in our river maye l>c considered as among the kindly fruits of the eartfi. from which, in due season, we are promised enjoyment. The season certainly is fixed by legal enactment, but as lite genus appears somewhat confused, and before confusion becomes worse confounded. I submit that they be grouped under the heading (not necessarily hot-headed) ‘‘passiflora succulens”- as my Isatin is a little groggy, I had better translate that a? fi pasaion”-fruit. © *s* The permanent secretary of the Agricultural Labourers’ Union speaks to a Press representative in Uhristchurcli with no uncertain voice while dealing with the alleged delinquencies of Mr. Justice Sim. but falters when he attempts to express his disgust with the finding of the Gouri. That uiter deli wring the finding the Court "rose” seems to find an opportunity for a "Thorn” to point out how useless it is to kick against the prick's, while the declaration by Mr. Thorn that the breath is not knocked out of the body of his Union iustifiea the writer in giving him a free ‘puff.” © ® ® The confusion which exists in the minds of the public as to which is Ihe more moderate in demand, as regards money and work—generally shown as

“OLD SALT"

“Capital and Labour”—was an opportunity 1 for** illustration which was not neglected "by the railway servant's when’ formulating their appear to the Minister as against the demands of an autocratic Government. This the requests—“That-dining-carmen be placed upon the permanent staff, and that their hours be reduced.” This appears to be a very reasonable request, and if “Carmen” bring them no fortune, it is to be earnestly hoped that the hours will pass quickly, and that none of them will be so ill-bred as to refuse the bread which is. after all, the staff of life. © © © A footballer’s life is not always a happy one, if we may judge from the experiences of the lately returned Maori team from Australia. To lie stranded in Sydney is not a pleasant position, nor is it much improved when the pocket is occupied by a writ —as a matter of fact, an empty pocket is much to be preferred. The players are frequently and strenuously exhorted to “play the game,” but seeing how our dusky warriors were euchred, it might be as well in the future to see that there are not too many “Jacks” in the pack. © © © The suggestion that the visit of the American fleet should be commemorated by some permanent beautification of our streets seems to be an excellent one, and there, is every indication that it will be acted upon. The hills and valleys to be observed in lower Queen-street are splendid examples of what may be achieved in landscape gardening, and it requires only a couple of rainy days to provide us with quite a chain of artificial lakes in Fort and Customs streets. As a permanent. reminder. Khyber Pass-road, down which, a witness at an in•> > --t stated, the cars run at a speed of t \ i .-- five miles an hour, or more swiftly than the Pukekohe express, might be renamed Fleet-street. © © © Curiosity is not a pleasing characteristic. to which to admit; but 1 must confess that. I should like to know why a certain gentleman considers it necessary to advertise that he painted the power-house chimney for forty pounds? I have known a man to paint a town red without being a bit. anxious to make a song about it; but the gentleman to whom I refer does not tell us the colour of the paint employed, and flouts our intelligence when he thinks that we will surmise that he did the work for fun.