Here and There

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XL, Issue 9, 29 February 1908, Page 14

Here and There

Wanted—--100 BOYS FOR NEW CUSTOMERS. MOST OF OUR . OLD, CUSTOMERS ARE RAPIDLY DROPPING OUT. 10 committed suicide last week. 20 are in jail—B are in the chain-gang. 15 were sent to the poorhouse—one was hanged. 3 were sent to the insane asylum. Most of the balance ain’t worth fooling with—they’ve got no money. We are just obliged to have new customers—fresh young blood. Or we will nave to shut up shop. Don’t make any difference whose boy you are —we need you. You will be welcome. If you once get started with us we guarantee to hold you. Our goods are sure. Come early—stay late. <®> 3> “ Mister ’’ and “ Esquire." . What is the difference between a “Mister” and an “Esquire”? The best authority seems inclined to the view that the latter term is derived from “escuyer,’’ old French for “shield bearer,” and so came to be applied to the chief retainers of knights. When the feudal days passed, we are told, the word remained. The Englishman is not always sure himself, however, in making the distinction between “Esquire” and “Mister.” One authority amused himself by ascertaining that the British railway companies vouschafe to those passengers only who care sufficiently about their social standing to be holders of first class season tickets, the honour of “Esquire.” On one occasion when this man held a first class ticket, 1 he received a letter from the company addressed “Esquire.” But on-the next day when he’’transferred his intronage to second class, he was humiliated to find himself relegated to the proletariat-known as- “Misters.” ■ ’ • Matthew Arnold used to explain the difference in the English custom in this way. A gentleman, or anyone who is engaged in a “gentlemanly” occupation, is denominated “Esquire.” The tradesman is entitled to nothing better than “Mister." Another writer gives a burlesque etymology. “When the Conqueror came over in 1066,” says he, “those of his retinue who could afford cushions to sit on at an audience were -known as ‘Esquires’ or ‘Esquatters,’ while those who were compelled to seat themselves on wooden seats were dubbed “Misters.” <s> $> Making Antiquities. In the manufacture of “antiquities” the forger shows an ingenuity that is unlimited. Furniture, prints, china, pictures, plate, armour, ivory, bronze tapestry—are all most successfully imitated. Many such imitations are. it is true, clumsy enough; but a great many deceive even the initiated. The experts of national museums have been imposed upon more than once. The British Museum bought a Palissy plate for two hundred and fifty dollars. While an attendant was handling it, one of the seals attached to its l>ack—attesting its genuineness—became detached, disclosing the mark of a modern French potter. Terracotta figures of Isis and Osiris, bought by the same institution for thousands of dollars, were discovered to be composed of modern clay. There is one forger of antiquities whose specialty is old leather jacks; another produces horn hooks; still another turns out “medieval” manuscripts; a fourth, clerical vestments of the Middle Ages; and so on. An expert of the Smithsonian Institution was called upon not long ago to pass upon a specimen of a “mummy servant,” an effigy, in a plastic material, such as the Egyptians buried with their dead. Close examination proved it to be made of putty. It was a very clever forgery. Count Tyskiewier., a noted judge and collector of antiquities, gives some inter, esting details of the forgeries that have

l»een attempted from the earliest times. No metal lent itself so easily to this work as gold. Etruscan jewellery has been largely manufactured in Italy; but Syria has carried on the most exten- ‘ sive forgery of gold works of art. Forgeries in silver have been less successful. A good story is told of a forged silver cup in Rome that purported to have come from some secret excavation in Sicily. This “ancient” cup was ornamented with a circular bas relief representing the frieze of the Parthenon. In the height of his innocence the forger had given the frieze in its present ruined condition. The cup Obtained an immediate success — shouts of laughter. e> <s> <?> hayings of the Small. The newspapers are fond of printing the sayings of the great. I wish they would also print the sayings’ of the small. The other day my parlourmaid was thrown into a state of excitement by the discovery that a new book, lying on my table, had been written by the second cousin of the housemaid. “Just fancy!” she said, “I thought it was only gentry as wrote books!” .She was honestly shocked and disconcerted by the discovery, and she appeared to think that the second cousin of the housemaid had taken a liberty. Another saying of the small. The other day a Board School teacher was discoursing on Royal residences to his pupils. He explained that a royal residence was a house in which the King lives; Balmoral was one, and Windsor Uastle another. After the school closed, one of the boys was heard scornfully saying, “The King don’t live in the Windsor Castle! The Windsor Castle’s a pub!”- Just one more...saying of the, small.,, The fond father was warning his.,, small childagainst venturing too near the- edge of the cliff. “If you fell over,” : said' he, “•you. would be smashed into .little bits, and you would bleed.”,-The large, blue eyes of the -small child gazed wonderingly at the'serious face of the fond father. “Daddy,” said she, “would you hear me bleeding?” - _ <£<&<£ A Remarkable Club. There are many remarkable clubs in London, but if I were asked which I considered the. most remarkable of all, I would unhesitatingly say, “The ‘You-Be-Quiet’ Club, in Bond-street.” It is not a ladies’ club.' No self-respecting lady would dream of joining a club with a j title" like that. Yet, stay, a moment. There is one lady member of the “You-Be-Quiet,” but she did not dream of becoming so., . .She was elected a inember without application, so I need not apologise to —Miss Clara Butt! The wellknown singer, whose husband, Mr. Kennerley Ruinford, is also a member of the Y.8.Q.C., does not frequent the club as ladies frequent the Lyceum, the Pioneer, the Writers’ and the Ladies’ Army and Navy. She is just .“down on the list of members,” and her photograph is in. the club album—“like a rose in the garden with weeds overgrown.” The Y.BiQ.C. started with three members, who were also its founders, one being the late Henry Pottinger Stephens, of the “Daily Telegraph,” and another, Mr. Archibald Ramsden, whose habit of saying “Just you lie quiet,” whenever there was a story about to be told that he knew better than the gave the club its very uncommon title. Among the earliest members, whom one meets now only in memory, were J. L. Toole, Samspn Fox (the great musical philanthropist), .Signor Foli. Joseph Maas, Phil May, and Sir Benjamin Baker, K.C.8., the Nile Reservoir engineer. The living member* include Sir Edward Elgar, Dr. Hans Riehter, Mr. Edward Idoyd, Ix»rd Faber, Mr. Henry J. Wood. Mr. Samuel Aitken (Lord Mayor of Gloucester, and vice-pre-sident of the club), Richard Strauss, Sir Alexander Mackenzie, Mr. Joseph Bennett (the “Daily Telegraph” musical critic), and Mr. Fred R. Spark, whose fifty years’ service as secretary and treasurer of. the Leeds Musical Festival- was acknowledg-

ed recently by a presentation at the hands ‘of his friends of a handsome service of plate and a portrait of himself by Sir George Reid, an honour which war followed soon afterwards by a gift of a thousand pounds from the president of the “You-Be-Quiet” Club, Mr. Arch. Ramsden, for the benefit of Mr. Spark's pet charities, the convalescent homes for the sick poor of Leeds. But what about the remarkable part of this “You-Be-Quiet Club? I have left that to the last. The walls of the • club-room in Bond-street are hung with the rarest pictures by Hoppner, Raeburn, Romney, and Sir Joshua Reynolds; liquid refreshments and cigars are free; and the fee for a life membership is five shilitngs! <&<s>s> Another Bunting Lullaby. Bye, Baby Bunting, Papa Dear is grunting; Motor isn’t running. Isn’t Papa cqnning, Lying under the machine? 'j Sister’s gone for gasoline. .. I Brother’s having lots of fun Off on an endurance run; Cousin Bill’s away from home Driving, at the Motordrome; Cousin Sadie soon wilt go With us to the Auto Show, Uncle's got a fine to pay — Pinched for speeding yesterday. Mamma dear is quite a peach, Racing down at Cheltenham Beach. Bye, Baby Bunting, no wonder Papa’s grunting! —M. Worth CotwelL <s><s►<s> Aboard the Royal Sovereign. In 1902, while serving in the Royal Navy, I had a very dreadful experience (writes a-correspondent). I was serving on H.M.S. Royal Sovereign at the time. One morning I and a party of ableseamen were told off to paint our masts and yards with the new .paint, French grey. We worked hard, and just before dinner was piped all the other seamen, having finished their work, went down from aloft, leaving me. to finish the starboard yaixl of the foremast. I was sitting on the foot rope painting, when my .pot of paint, which was tied loosely to the yard above my head, " upset, and its contents poured into my face, completely blinding me for tlie ,'time "being,' and for'two days afterwards.l had been holding to the yard with my left hand, and painting .with my right, but when I felt -the paint ' in my eyes I dropped my brush and grabbed the yard with my right hand as well. My fellow-pa inters had gone to dinner. . and I was. alone up there on the yard, completely blinded with the paint. I could not move for fear of falling down below. All hands were at dinner except one signalman on the after bridge and the quartermaster and officer of the watch on the quarter-deck. These persons could not hear my calls, for help, they being at the .other, end of the ship. After calling out for help for about five minutes I stopped, and waited what seemed hours, but was in reality a matter of minutes.. Suddenly. I heard a voice not far from me say, “What about your dinner?” It belonged to the cook of my mess, who had missed me at dinner, and come up. aloft to see what had delayed me. “Is that you, Mick?” he asked. “Yes,” I replied. “My eyes are full of paint, and I dare not move. Tell some of the men to come up and help me,” I replied from my clinging position on the yard. Having told me that he would do so, he went down the rigging and told some men who were on deck smoking. They quickly responded, and having procured a long rope and bo’sun’s chair, they tied them together and .came up aloft to me. They assisted me into the rope ehair, which was placed over the yard, and I was lowered from belqjw on to the deck. On being led to the siqjc bay I had my eyes cleaned, though not enough to sea with. I was forced to eat my dinner in darkness, not knowing a potato from a lump of meat until it was in my mouth. It took a long time before my eyes were right again, and I was Very careful when'eyOr I was working up aloft any time afterwards.