Our Funny Page

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXVIII, Issue 25, 22 June 1907, Page 60

Our Funny P age

DEFINED. "Fred's a perfect young water-god. isn't he?” "H’m! A sort of Appollo-naris, you mean.”

ABSENT-MINDED. "Your wife has fallen down stairs and is seriously mrt." 'creamed an excited ig ibour over the telephone. “What's her address?” asked the ab-sent-minded editor. ‘‘l'll send a reporter up to see if he can get her picture.”

SPLASH! Barkeep—“ Wot "11 yeh have?*" Stoodent B—“ Got any champagne on Barkeep—“ Sure.” Student B—“ Gimme a nickel’s worth of ice.”

A DIFFERENCE. Few young men ever think of matrimony. The most they do is to think of getting married. TIRED. Borleigh (at 11:45) —Ah, Miss Critic, you have such a sweet, retiring disposition. Miss Critic (yawning).—You flatter me. Mr. Borleigh; but I must confess to a slight disposition to retire. SLOW OLD COUNTRY. First Yankee: "Have you been through the British Museum?’’ Second Yankee: "Oh. yes.” First Yankee: "What did you think of it. ’ Second Yankee: "Pretty poor. Why, they’ve got the same things there they had last year.” PAYS TO BE QUICK-WITTED. "It has come to my ears,” remarked Miss De Playne. “that you said my face would make a man climb a fence.” "Yes—that’s what I said,’ replied the diplomatic one, "but, of course, I meant if he happened to be on the other side of the fence." BEHIND A GIRL. "Been to the theatre this week?” "Yes.” "What did you see?” "A black velvet bow, some tortoiseshell combs, a couple of plumes, a chiffon knot and a stuffed bird about the size of a hen.” TWO REASONS WHY. "Well. Professor, how are you getting along with your aerial machine?” "It is-not yet a complete success.” the professor said, with a sad smile. “I have two things to accomplish before I can say that it is.” "What are they?” ”1 must discover how to get my machine in the air and then how to keep it there.”

It is recorded that the first man haCn’t known the first woman long before he had to get out and dig.

A KNIGHT S PROGRESS. ACCORDING TO THE RULES.

"If they’re looking for a suitable automobile dog. what’s the matter with met Look how easily I could get under the old thing.”