Which Has the Better Time in Life?

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXVIII, Issue 17, 27 April 1907, Page 20

Which Has the Better Time in Life ?

A MAN OR A WOMAN? WHY?

By

GEORGE R. SIMS

A CHRISTI Hi IB H BANK CLERK’S OPINION. Surely nobody can doubt that girls and nomen have the best time. Down here they de at all events. Their work is easier, and is over by lunch time, and the rest of the day is their own. j here 'Were always three girls to one man in the afternoons at the Exhibition, and at night they swarmed there. Even girls who go to o ee work have an easier time that we. It’s precious seldom they have night work, whereas, with us—well, just look how many nights you see our windows alight at the good old B.N.Z. LEDGER CLERK. •1 OR MEN MUST WORK!” Women with any capacity have by far the better time. Once properly oragnised, their household life runs easily. They ean leave home at any time, knowing that, absent or present, there will bo no elogging of the wheels, no friction. But a man, however well organised his business, has no ease or security in the midst of the. fierce competition that assails him. I have not had a real holiday for four years, for it is only by Keeping always active and alert that r ean maintain the good income 1 have now. On the other hand, my wife can leas* home, four or live times a year for health or pleasure, or mere whim. She has the conlidenee of her children in a tfeggee to which I can never attain. This is the price 1 pay for keeping them Sb comfort. 1 rejoice that she has these rich pleasures. I do not complain at all. I recognise my immense responsibility to those who are dependent upon me. But 1 really cannot agree that men have a belt er time. PATERFAMI LIAS. HONOURS ARE EASY. Sir, —In the middle-class a woman’s lot is about equal with a man’s; honours nre easy. The man, whether employer or employed, has a hundred times a day to modify’ his views, abate his wishes, and change his actions to suit those he is thrown among. He Is called to his work all his life by a bell or by the inexorable Bradshaw; not for him the decision to put it off till to-morrow because it is wet or he had a headache, or because it is a lovely day for shopping. The woman, on the other hand, has a burden to bear to make ends meet, and ia consequently also obliged to forego some freedom of action. E.H. WOMEN AND SELF-SACRIFICE. Sir, —There is undoubtedly one factor in the character of most women that makes for them having the best time in li f c. I am speaking, not from the material point of view, which, after nil, is the least Important part of life, but from the nobler height, of spirituality; women have, a greater capacity and love of seltsaerifice and self-denial than men, and undoubtedly in exercising these splendid qualities they have the true better time in life. After all the fulfilment of life lies in the conscientious performance of daily duties, end I think it may be taken for granted that the average wife and mother feels that she has the best time in life, because her whole soul is given up t Q th care of those she loves, and who reiy upon her for guidance. MONICA CAREW. MEN MUST WORRY AND WOMEN MUST WEEP. Kir, —Both have their troubles and worries, man perhaps tbe most worryr but then, is he not made to be able to endure more worry ? Woman ha* snare ia

contend with from u physical point of view; but then, is she not able to endure more pain than man, and has she not some joy which man is not familiar to? Man derives more happiness from one source, woman more than a man from

another, so that matters are equalised. Take all grades of life, from the richest to the. poorest, and consider the matter how you may, you will come to the conclusion that both sexes have equal chances of real happiness, acd that there

always have been, and always will be, men and women who become pessimists, and as they grow older appreciate less what a good thing life is, and how much they have to be thankful for. B.C.F.

WOMEN AND SMALL DEBTS. Sir, —Mr. George R. Sims is an Old World, not a colonial, writer, and retains an old-time notion of woman, her aims, and her sense of honour. Allow

me, as a woman, to state that a woman “may not do with impunity many things that society’ would look askance at in a man.” Neither I, a woman, nor one of my five sisters would allow ourselves “forgetfulness of the least of small debts,” though we are by’ no means wealthy. We should not find enjoyment in doing so. I admit that as a rule truly’ good women do not ’attract men; they’ do nob cultivate Hoods of “tears” as mantraps; therefore, they have very small chances of securing a man who will “tremble at" their frown,” or contradict them at the peril of a flood of such crocodile waterworks as secure peace and prosperity to the frivolous element in the feminine community in which foolish nvan has found his delight from time immemorial. Therefore, men have the better time. A WOMAN WHO PAYS HER OWN DEBTS. WHY OLD WOMEN ARE HAPPY. Sir, —How is it that old women are sa much more delightful than old men; more interested in current events, in the welfare of their young relatives, and in thir own daily round of small events? Women, it would seem* accumulate happiness during their lives, and when they are too heavy with years to go out into the world any more they draw upon their resources for happy’ memories, and are content. In being contented lies a potent source of joy. Old women at any rate, I am sure, have a much better time in life than old men, and are much more generally beloved. GRANDMOTHER'S GIRL. “THAT STERN JOY WHICH WARRIORS FEEL.” Sir, —Responsibility, which turns some men grey and old before their time, if they be husbands with large families to keep, acts as a stimulant to others. I am, I suppose, a born gambler, and like taking risks, so though I am a very much harassed person on the face of things, as the young parent of four little. ones, I enjoy my life of hazard, and wouldn’t be a woman if I were a queen on her throne. TWENTY-SEVEN. “THE TRUTH—THE WHOLE TRUTH!” Why are we all so elated to hear of the birth of a son and heir? We know, lucky boy, that the Fates have far more in store for him than for his little sister. In the matter of his first suit it would be strange if he did not find a bright new sixpence in the pocket. How about a little girl? Why, she does not even have a pocket. A boy may- romp and play and tear his clothes and contrive all kinds of mischief. “Boys will be boys” is the old saying which excuses it all. For a girl to follow his example it would be quite shocking! Considei- how quickly and easily a boy ean dress and undress. No tiresome pins and buckles and hooks and tapes, but a few loose, comfortable garments—a boon alike in winter and summer.

A man ean do his hair well in two minutes. A woman must spend at least twenty minutes on hers night and morning, and a gale of wind or shower of rain will undo the whole handiwork in a twinkling. Who is the more welcome and sought after at social gatherings—the lone bachelor or the lone spinster? The answei Is obvious-

In marriage man, again, has the better time. He can spend more freely and inc dulce his passing fancy; he has mort Variety in scenes and faces and his daily

food He has more leisure, for when his wark i> done, it is done, and, don’t forget it, Ire has one day “off” a week. The fortunate one in birth, childhood, •ingle life, courtship, marriage, and in parenthood is “Man, toujours man.” “FELICITY." A WOMAN WHO KNOWS. Sir, —Undoubtedly the man has the better time —although I am a woman, •nd prefer to be so. “If a man marries and settles down to find home, with a wife, is not so very desirable or attractive, he has made a mistake, he can go to his club, bridge, or other amusements, while the woman, who probably is just as dissatisfied, has to stay at home to read, sew, look a*ter children, or entertain discreetly. A married man can leave his work behind when he goes home to his dinner and his wife, whereas the wife always has the comfort of the household on her shoulders. —K. P. THE REASON WHY. Sir,—lf during my married life I had not learnt to appreciate and take a delight in the little joys of life I should not be able to say I thought women have a better time in life than men. But being shut out always from great oppor-

tunities of rejoicing such as my husband, who is on the Stock Exchange, runs tile chance of, I have n-iade my satisfaction in small events. He suffers aS much as he rejoices, but I proceed on the even tenor of my way and am HAPPIER THAN HE. A HOCKEY GIRL'S BRUISES. Sir,—l know it is a generally understood thing among women that men have the better time of it, and I have often suspected that at the bottom of their hearts men think women have the better time, only they are wise and keep their thoughts to themselves, incomprehensible beings that they are. What people want is not exactly a better time of it, but rather the delusion that they are having a good time. That is why everyone mystifies everyone else by enjoyments which, to the, others, appear to be painfully lacking in possibilities of pleasure. For instance, 1 am a hockey devotee, and last Saturday I jubilantly returned home with six yellow bruises down one shin, a big lump on my forehead, where two of us had collided, and a rapturous account of the splendid game we had had. The only comment my friend vouchsafed was that she supposed I called that fun. That did not upset me in the least. She could not persuade me that I had not enjoyed myself. —J. 8.

A WIFE'S BITTER EXPERIENCE. I never had a sweetheart, I was rigorously kept from the opposite sex. When I got married I considered the man a god, but the disillusion came. I am in the- fourth decade of married life, and I never received an ornament either gold or silver but my wedding rings! I never was given one penny for household or personal purposes without asking for it! I have had to be both father and mother to the children, looking after health, education, and all else connected with a family'. In any decision when matters turned out right he tried to take the credit for it all; if wrong I was reproached and abused past bearing. Now, my only consolation is raking among the ashes of a bitter experience for the joys I had with the children. PATRICIA. MANY MEN INFERIOR TO WOMEN. Sir', —Is it so extraordinary to find an ever-increasing number of delightful girls not at all keen to marry, when we see how inferior many men are to women, certainly in moral, if not also in mental faculty 1 A man must be. born a fool to wish he were a woman, because he has opportunities of growing great which a wo-

man never has. But it is on this very account that hundreds of women wish they were men, so that their special predilections might be carried out in church, law, army, medicine, or other branch of learning and utility. EDMUND BASILTON. SOME VERY PLAIN SPEAKING. In the colony, as well as elsewhere, men have the best time. They see to it when they make the laws. Women have no desire to sow their wild oats before marriage, but if one poor exception does, men lift their hands in horror and turn their backs upon her. Marry a girl like that, oh fie! But when it comes to their own sex, the excuses are plentiful —“Young men will be young men,” is the cry. Say “young beasts,” and you will be nearer, the mark. And after marriage, who has the best time then? Children are a pleasure, I grant you, but man can enjoy them equally with the woman, who has suffered the pangs of labour for them. It's a coarse but plain truth, that if it were turn and turn about in the bearing of children, with the woman to start, there would be no more than three in any family in the land. A man will stop at his olub over billiards or poker and come homo with the milk, but if we women go out to bridge, say, twice in the week, we hear a mighty "to-do” about the curse of cards for women. Another type of

men —the pets—just love to flirt with a barmaid, but a pretty kettle of fish there would be if we started an “entente eordiale” with the butcher and baker boys. I don’t know Mr Sims, and I don’t want to, so thank goodness he doesn’t live in the colony, but if that article he wrote last week is the best he can do, the best thing they could do would be to put him and the editoridiot who paid for it into one eel! at wherever they keep their asylums in the Old Country; two such fools should be kept together—and safe. Hoping you will print this for the honour of the sex. (AIRS) CARRIE GARDIN. Te Aro, Wellington. MEN EVERY TIME. Dear Editor,—l’ve not been “out” very long, but even long before that I discovered boys had the best time. Our boys were sent to Wanganui for their schooling, we girls had to be content with a cheap one here. They always had pocket money and tips every term, we got a pair of gloves or something on our birthday and had to look pleased. All summer they were away in dad’s yacht from Saturday to Sunday, and certainly they were welcome to that for she’s old, slow, and cranky, but we had only to stop and get tea for them by the time they came home. They

never had to practise an hour a day, I did. And now I’m out it’s the same. At a dance, who has the best time? His lordship ean dance every dance, if it so please his high and mightiness. With us its “Wait till your’e asked.” If he wants to make love to a girl he can. We can’t; at least, well, not very much, and even then you’ve got to be careful. He ean flirt as much as he likes, and no chaperon ever goes for him. Yes, decidedly, men have the best time. NANCY B. Epsom, Auckland. WHAT PRICE THE COLONIAL GIRL. I’m not much in the writing line myself, but this gag of yours as to which has the best time in the colony, girls or us fellows, why, it’s dead easy. What price the colonial girl, say I. Not, mind you, I’d rather be a girl, not me, not much, but that’s for different reasons. I’d rather put up with a bit .and be a man; it’s my nature, I suppose. But. what’s a girl’s work, any way? So long as they call me, and get a decent breakfast, I for one don’t want more. Then they mess about the house a bit, making beds and tidying up, and have lunch and go out calling, whieh Is foolery to us, but heaven to them, as it says in one of tl.e fables we had ns kids. They can always get off to tennis early,

whereas we can’t to cricket till all hours. Then, look nt them in towai any time they like. Not Hint I want to be in town; but free, I mean, with no sweltering over rotten accounts to do. What expenses have they either, I’d like to know? No cigarettes (not the girls I know). No billiards, and if they go out to the gaff I me. n theatre—some Johnny shouts them half the time. No, sir, girls have the tics* of it, and don't you forget it. E.F.H., Reiniiera.

As was to be expected, opinions on this subject—opened for discussion last week—vary, but the bulk of writers are, as will be seen from the letters printed, strongly of opinion that MAN is the favoured creature all through. It is significant that few men apparently care to express their opinion. The majority of them prefer, like Bre r Rabbit,"’ to “He low and say nnffin.” Why? Letters are still arriving and a fresh batch will be printed next week. Further opinions, and criticisms of those expressed here, are invited.—Editor “Graphic.”