"TRY TO SMILE”

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXVII, Issue 5, 4 August 1906, Page 60

"TRY TO SMILE”

GfES< THE ANSWER. “Yer t’ought nobody seen yer go inter di- valentoine store, didn’t yer. Willie*”

IN CHICAGO.

Mr. Pork Pack, r: ‘So he writes poetry, does he?” Sylvia: ‘‘Oh, papa, it is perfectly heavenly!” Mr. Pork Packer: "Well, we're exploiting a new pork sausage and ean probably use him in the advertising department.”

“You mustn’t kiss me until we are formally engaged.” "Do you always insist upon that rule?” “I’ve always tried to.”

WOMAN'S WAY. The ear was just getting under way when two women, rushing from opposite sides of the street to greet each other, met right in the middle of the street and in front of the car. There the women stopped and began to talk. The ear stopped, too, but they did not appear to realise that it was there. Some of the passengers on the front seats began to make sarcastic remarks. Then the motorman showed that he possessed the saving grace of humour. Leaning over the dashboard he said, gently: “ Ladies, would you like me to get you a couple of chairs?”

DIPLOMACY. Mother: " I hear that the lieutenant had the impudence to kiss you at the station. What did you do?” Daughter: “Oh, I kissed him too. so as to make people think we were relatives.” APPEARANCES ARE DECEPTIVE. Uncle John: "My goodness. Tommy. Tommy: "I expect I aren't so little fellow.” Tommy: "II expect I arent so little as I looks from the outside.” HOW. INDEED! Bobby: "Is this a camel’s hair brush, ma mma ?” Mamma: “ Yes.”

Bobby: "But how does a camel manage to brush its hair with a little thing like that?”

THE CROSSED WIRE Male voice: “Is this Miss Tottie Twinkletoes of ‘The Maid From Maine' chorus ?”