“TRY TO SMILE”

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXVII, Issue 3, 21 July 1906, Page 64

“TRY TO SMILE”

THE SYSTEM’S LIMITATION. Lpandown: “Is there no simple way to produce sleep?” Knowitall: “Sure. Just begin and count one. two, three, and on until sleep comes/* Lpandown: “Yes, but one, two, three is as far as the baby can count.”

AT LAST. Mrs Henpeek: “I have come to the conclusion ” Hr Henpeck: ‘*Thank Heaven!” ROOM FOR RETROGRESSION. Drummer: “Your village band is pretty poor, isn't it?” Pettyville Merchant: “Yes; but it could be worse; there might be more of ’em.” AN OVERSIGHT. Ikestein and Aaronburg, two Semitic money-lenders, met. “Good bithness yesterday, Ike.” said Aaron. “Young Loj-d Sthoftely came to me to borrow £5OO. I gif it him at fifty per thent. and deduct a year's intereth and pay him £250.” A ell, you was a fool, Aaron. Vv you should have lent it to him for two years and paid him nothing.” RELIEVED. Bleeker: Say. old chap. I’m in beastlv bad luck; need money badly and haven’t the least idea where I can get it. Baxter" Well, I’m glad forbear that—l thought perhaps you had an idea you could touch me for it. FIGURED UP. “Who is that homely girl?” asked Coinchaser. " That’s' Miss Eyress, who has just fallen heir to two millions,” answered Miss Newsgive. “ Hum! As I was about to say, she has a good figure.” Dyspepsia seems to be usually a state of mind which causes people to doubt the wisdom of eating certain articles of food, but which never prevents their doing so. HER CHOICE. Ethel: Yes, I’m going in for teaching. -Marjory: You going in for teaching! 'Vhy, 1 would rather marry a widower with half a dozen children. Ethel (with a sigh): So would I. But where’s the widower?