THE BAKED APPLE ALIBI

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXVI, Issue 22, 2 June 1906, Page 6

THE BAKED APPLE ALIBI

In which the Stone Dog and the Jack of Spades Establish Innocence of the Guilty

By Hugh Pendexter

•w—• K EZRA STACKPOLE BUTTER />■ WORTH, the founder of the I I Bureau of Abnormal Litigation. I B frowned impatiently on his w rough voiced, fidgeting visitor and repeated decisively: "No, no; 1 tell you. we can't take the case! Me do not go in for criminal practice, and your man. my assistant informs me, has a most undesirable record. The fact alone that he is known in police circles as •Slinky Bill' is enough to convict him.” • Butch” McCarty, ward heeler, and at present envoy for Mr William Bilks, burtrlar. drew down his coarse, red face sorrowfully, and without attempting to meet the snapping gaze of the old lawver. murmured: "Poor ol Slinky! To think his record must cr-rop out to down him whin fer wanst he's innereent !" He has no one but himself to thank for his record! Those things usually do count against a man,” commented Mr Butterworth, turning to his summons and complaint in a civil action. ■•Well." sighed Mr McCarty, rising slowlv. "a stone dog ain't th' best aliby in th" wurruld, an' yit if a good legal guy cud have played it up, slinky wud go fl -ree." Mr Butterworth -lowly revolved hlswing chair until lie faced the politician, and with curiosity in his voice, thinly disguised by a tone of pett i-imess. demanded: "tone dog'.' Huh! What do you mean, sir?” "I mean a stone dog. Wan with bind on his head.” replied Mr Me. arty l.stlesslv. as he moved toward tile door. "And that is his alibi?" •• That an’ a baked apple, sir," said the ward boss mildly. ■•EI please -it down. .Mr McCarty, invited the old lawyer nervously. "Let u- brieiiy go over the facts in the case so l.:r as' thev are known —but mind you, without ntv committing myself as to whether or not I will accept your retainer. Now. William Bilks, self confessed. burglar, better known as Slinky Bill, server of several sentences, is arrested and indieted on the charge of looting the -ate of the W’ard-Hungar Lumber Company in Bloomville, one of our suburbs. The robbery netted some bodv 25.000 dollars, and as a result of this loss the company cannot meet its obligations. Mr Bilks was seen in the immediate vicinity of the crime, the prosecution maintains, shortly before the safe was opened." "An" we can pr-rove he was tin miles west iv that point." interrupted Mr McCarty eagerly, his red face radiating "(in what errand?" asked the lawyer suspiciously. ■■Lookin' over th' primises iv a feed store." admitted Mr McCarty honestly. "And his alibi consists of':” "A stone dog. bleedin', an' a baked apple.” was the firm reply. Mr Butterworth sank back with a glint of admiration in his keen, old eyes, and murmured: "Do I understand the dog or the apple had been injured?" "Th" dog.” "Who is the prosecution's principal witness ?” "James Hekle. manager iv th' company. He'll -wear to seein’ Slinky—" "Hasn’t the man any right to a Christian name?" shuddered Mr Butterworth. "Mebbe: but it don’t tit so good. That’s all. But annything to oblige. Well, th' manager says he saw Mr Bilks that evenin’ bangin’ ar round th' lumber yar-rds. Thin th* safe was plucked an' th' money an’ cowpons was missin’." "Coupons as well as money?" "Shure. Terbacker cowpons; thim yez can swap fer a sofy piller. or a hat r-rack, or a air-gun.” explained Mr McCarty. "Th’ manager says he use to keep ’em there so th’ officebov couldn’t steal

’em. An’ to think anny wan cud iver accuse Slink—excuse me, 1 mean Misther Bilks—iv touchin’ such tr-ruck! But up comes Misther Wise Cr-raeker, th' polisman, an’ t'runs back his eoat an’ flashes his pewter —” "I beg pardon?” "His medal, his bre-breastplate, his—” "Possibly you mean badge?” "Shure. Well, he turns in th alarrum an’ Slinky —Bilks—is pinched, investigated. indieted, an’ now, whin there’s so manny jobs he cud conscientiously do time fer, he must tr-rip along, wan-two. wan-two, fer a job he niver touched. I’ve heard say that even th' divvle has some r-rights, an' Slinky— Misther Bilks —ain’t no divvle. Why, that la’ad cud be left alone all da-ay in this dump.” "No,” broke in Mr Butterworth hurriedlv, as his eves dwelt fondly on

several bronze pieces: "he must never come here, and if 1 take the case he must never know where my office is." "Oh. that’s all r-right. iv course: though it wud br-reak his heart if he knew yez cudn’t thrust him.” said Mr McCarty. "But can 1 tell th' gang ye're on an’ will take th' modest little fee we've sei* rimped an' saved jist to give Slink—Misther Bilks—a square shake?” "Hm! Really. 1 am inclined to say No.’” mused the old lawyer. "1 wouldn’t consider it for a moment unless 1 could be convinced of his innocence.” "He's as innercent as I be!” cried Mr McCarty. "Possibly,” agreed Mr Butterworth dryly. "But will he prove it ? What about this alibi? A dog and —s one fruit, did you say ?” "Baked apple,” reminded Mr McCarty. "Strangely inanimate for an alibi, yet smacking of oddity." mused the lawyer. "Well. I'll call on Mr Bilks in his retirement and talk with him. If you will drop in to-morrow and bring the retainer I'll be ready to announce my decision.” "Thank-." cried Mr McCarty heartily. "An’ now as I want to be fair an’ square with ye. would ye think at first blush that th’ Jack iv Spa-ades. wor-rn pr-roudly in a milkman's hat band, wud help th’ case anny?” "Why. bless me,” gasped the old lawyer, mechanically seizing his pencil, "it sounds convincing! Some more of the alibi?” "It is. At first I thought I'd say not a wurrud as it was th’ Jack iv Spa-ades, an’ not iv Hear-rts.”

"What difference could that make?” cried Mr Butterworth. "A hear-rt shows up so much betther in th’ early hours 1 wish it was that. I begged Slink—Misther Bilks —to change it an’ s-ay it was a hear-rt. But no. Sez he. ’l'lll tough, but I’m honest. I'm a burgl'r be profession, but I ain't sunk to deceit yit. A spa-ade’s a spa-ade.’ ” "I will interview him to-day,” repeated Mr Butterworth gravely. "His defence sounds sin ere to me.” "Why. to pr-rove it wud be th' yolk iv th’ aig f’r ye." said Mr McCarty admiringly, as he backed humbly to the door and bowed himself out. Mr Butterworth, once his visitor was gone, pursed his lips n doubt and shook liis head several times as he overhauled a file of newspapers and read how seemingly conclusive was the old

cracksman's guilt. Since creating his Bureau of Abnormal Litigation and winning considerable renown by his eccentric methods, he had be n de.uged with petitions to take up the defence of criminal eases. His nature was not in sympathy with this line of work, however, and he had snunned it as far as possible. But occasionally, when a prisoner protested his innocence and brought forwaid something unusual in exoneration, the old lawyer had relentid, lured. <ll by the very novelty of the situation. He was a connoisseur of unusual legal points, and his sign, stating to the bu-y street that ne was "Counsellor at Eccentric Law," brought him much civil practice, the nature of which had frightened away his more mechanical and prosy fellow-attorneys. When, however, he took up the defen. e in a criminal prosecution it was as a rule in a homicide case, where his sympathies had been enlisted by the desperate straits of the prisoner. But in this instance the defendant was a notorious safe-blower, a man from the lower walks of life, who doubtless would have robbed the lumber company’s safe if given an opportunity. No: the dignity of his bureau demanded he resist the glamour of Mr McCarty's appeal ami have nothing to do with it. He would not take it. and Then his eyes fell on his pencilled notes, where "stone dog.” "baked apple." plus the "jack of spades,” caught his gaze and held him. The novelty of it all, the inherent possibilities of, say, a baked apple, pulled strongly at his inclination. A common doer of evil would have relied on the perjured word of his mates.

But here was a man who was eager to substantiate his assertions of innocence by a group of inanimate objects: who. with the unconscious yearning of the artist, appreciated the value of the trivial and commonplace. And as this inti oduction of the insignificant at an unusual time and place was the kevnote of the old lawyer s many successes, ami had won for him the characterisation "abnormal. the pencilled notes were care.ally pocketed, and Mr Bilks was called upon an hour later. "1 he man is certainly innocent." muttered .Mr Butterworth. lie emerged into the sunlight with a sharp sparkle in his eyes. "What an anomaly! An honest villain! 1 m almost sorry 1 accepted his ease. Ye; what a unique chain of exonerating evidence!" Then he sought to console ois wavering mind by suggesting: "But possibly it will be the means of teaching a lesson. He mav reform." Yet as Mr Bilks’ stubbly and stubborn face returned before his inner eye. he added doubtfully: "Just posThe amount of the booty, coupled with the prisoner's Iffitoiy. nad i.tted tile crime above the average plain or county court prosecutions and had furnished an important new- stare for several days. It only needed the intelligence that the Bureau of Abnormal Litigation was to conduct the defence to levtve anil double the interest when the ease was moved for trial. The circumstantial evidence had seemed so conclusive that ihe District Attorney approached ais task with scant vigour. But when ,ne of his assistants informed him that Mr Butterworth was on the other side a wave of activity -wept through the cilice, with the D.A. dumbly wondering in what guise the inevitable surprise would come. Tiie trial opened before a crowded court-room, the major portion of the audience being lawyers, who never missed an opportunity to witness the <ll practitioner at bay. Although •' - .... ami interesting when appe-tir. < for either side in a civil action, he was at his best in defending a forlorn hope. Some of those present had refused the retainer, ami now were wondering what abnormal thread had been discovered to cause the veteran exponent of unusual law to take it up. The judge, always eyeing a defendant as one created solely to annoy him ami interfere with his dinner hour, frowned slightly as he mounted the bench ami looked down on the defendant’s table. Ami Mr B:l«s was not one who could be expected to excite pity. Short ami thick of figure, his strong frame was surmounted by a heavily-ihat;bed head, which, when close cropped in a penal institution, would be characterised in the vernacular as "bullet." The hair was now long and wiry. and. like the ••yes. jet black. The jaw. thrust well forward, was of the popular bulldog style, and showed blue-black from the gaol barber’s morning efforts. The -light form, the <1 dieate features and white heir of the old lawyer showed in deep contrast, as the tw . bowed their heads over the table and held whispered consultations. ”>iy. Bo." growled Mr Bilks in a voice meant to be hushed, but reallyresembling the stifled plaint of a fog horn, "does dem guvs in de jury box look good ter youse?” Mr Butterworth nod led his herd -lightly and murmured for his client to keep silent as the District Attorney was about to open for the prosecution. Ihe People’s ease was simple am! dire t. The lumber company had been robbed of twenty-five thousand dollars on a night when the defendant was seen loitering about the office, and later seen scurrying toward the city* encumbered

with a gripsack or parcel. Mr Jame. Hekle, manager, would swear to receiving this amount of money in banknotes of various denominations, and to placing it in the safe on the night of the robbery. The money was intended to lie used' in paying off the help, and as a consequence of its disappearance the eotnpanv could not meet its othet obligations and might be toned into bankruptcy. The crime was the more abhorrent as it struck at so many. No portion of the money had been recovered. but the jury was reminded that the defendant had had ample time to reach the city and conceal his loot. -\Vliv didn’t von tell me they would try to* prove seeing you leaving the scene of the robbery’” whispered Mr Butterworth sharply. "S’long as I’m innercent what differ does it make how many swears ter seein’ met” growled Mr Bilks indignantly. . Mr Hekle was the first witness called. He told of the company’s method of pavino < if a host of workmen every two weeks, and explained that the twentytive thousand dollars not only included the pay-toll, but also was to have been used in meeting outstanding bills. He had placed it in the safe in the presence of an aged clerk, and the two had leit the office together to ateiid a secret society meeting. On their way to the hall they had met the defendant at the entrance' of the yards, a tew feet from the office. At midnight the witness had been summoned from the hall by the village watchman, who informed him door to the company’s office had been found ajar. An examination quickly revealed that the lock to the safe had been picked and the money taken. The robbery must have been committed prior to twelve o clock. "Well. say. 80, but he certainly is de slick ’tin." admired Mr Bilks in a husky whisper. "You have told all you know about the affair:” was Mr Buterworth’s first question in cross-examination. "1 believe so.” •■What about the tobacco coupons you kept in the safe?” The witness reddened, but replied. I wasn’t asked about them.” “Yet such coupons were there? The witness answered in the affirmative. and added that he had told the District Attorney of them. “But as their discovery- in the defendant’s possession would be almost positive proof of his guilt, and as they have never been found, you did not remind my opponent of them in your direct examination. as a bit of evidence, realising he would have asked about them had he wished any mention, liable to exonerate the defendant, to be made?” suggested Mr Butterworth genially. The District Attorney hotly objected to any conclusions being drawn, and was sustained by the Court. Then he added, with a shrewd glance at the jury: "A man who had time to conceal 25.000 dollars in bank-notes wouldn’t be inconvenienced to finding a hidingplace for. or to destroy, a bunch of worthless tobacco prize coupons. It was a simple matter to throw them “1 accept your apology.” sail Mr Butterworth kindly. "Fer de love of Say. 80. da’ certainly was a warm shot.” said Mr Bilks in a half-audible tone that sadlydetracted from the dignity of the pro -eeutor’s passionate disclaimer. "The defendant is not being tried for stealing tobacco coupons.” reminded the Court sternly and with an icy stare at the distorted face of the burglar. "Coupons are not even mentioned in the indictment. The District Attorney evidently does not care to litter up the ease with immaterial evidence."

”1 take an exception to the Court’s remarks,” said Mr Butterworth. “Nothing is immaterial that goes a step toward proving the prisoner’s innocence.” The aged clerk next substantiated his employer's story in every detail and was positive that the defendant was the man lie *aw near the ottice. The third wit lies* told nf seeing Mr Bilks, between the hours of eleven and twelve, hastening cityward, carrying something under his arm. It was quite dark, despite the moonlight. yet he was almost po-itive the man whom he saw and the defendant wire the same. This evidence, followed by several policemen, and a clerk of courts staggering under a heavy record nf convictions, who tore the defendant’s reputation to shreds and pictured him as a man who lived solely to be sentenced for burglaries, closed the prosecution's case. “If the Court please,” said Mr Butterworth. “1 will endeavour to be as brief in concluding the defence as has been my learned brother in presenting the people's proof. I will enter on no out line of the defence beyond the simple assertion that my client stole no monei from the complainant and is here solely as the result of his former ill-advised activity. But he is not to be convicted

because of his reputation. And 1 would desire the jury to remember that nothing is inconsequential and trivial and apt to ’litter up the case* that in any way tends to show tin- defendant could not have participated in the crime charged. Our defence is an a lib:. It is a bit unusual, and tor that reason all the more impressive.” With this foreword the old lawyer paused and daintily dusted with his handkerchief the fingers that had been employed to restrain Mr Bilks in his chair while being identified as the man with the bundle. Mr Bilks was then motioned to the witness stand. “Mr Bilks, where were y< u on the

night of this occurrence?” Mr Butter worth plunged into the examination. “I's in a joint vailed Eply. ten miles from dat punk job.” "Where in Eply?" “Well, fer one t’ing 1 was in de bug house grounds.” “Witness wa* where?” asked the “He says he was on the premises of the insane asylum.” interpreted Mr Butterworth. “Huh! Go on.” “What did you do there?” ”l's sort of weary wid walkin' round town an' 1 sets down on a dawg.” “Stenographer, did the witness *a\ log or dog?” demanded the amazed judge. “I said a dawg.” broke in Mr Bilks confidentially. “In de langwige of de poet, a pup. a bow-wow.” “What kind of a dog?” interrupted Mi Butterworth quickly, a* he detected a storm hovering over the face of justice. “A stone ’un.” “Stone! 1 believe be said stone.” mur mured the Court, removing his spectacle* and breathing heavily. "Mercy!’ “Dat's wot.” agreed Mr Bilk* genially. “What happened then?” hurriedly asked counsel. “Well, den I puts down my mit. See?

An' I gits it all sticky. See? An' I An' 1 gits it all sticky See? An' 1 strikes a flicker, an' if it wan't covered w id bind!” “Blood!” re-echoed the Court, sudden ly slumping several inches in hi* high back chair. “Dat’s wot.” retorted Mr Bilks stout ly. “An* 1 gits it on de tail of my coat. Den 1 quit* de place on de jump.” “Did the dog bite you?” asked the Court anxiously. “Naw: de dawg didn’t bite me. See? De dawg was stone an’ couldn't bit nut in'.” growled Mr. Bilks, as one suspecting he was bring made game of. “Candour will coni pell you to admit,

sir,” observed the Court to the complacent Mr. Butterworth, ‘“that this is all very —er —peculiar, and possibly to lie viewed with amazement.” “That the dog didn't bite him?” demanded Mr. Butterworth. “I except to your Honor's remarks a> bring unduly prejudicial to the defence. My client is unhappily environed. 1 will confess, but the*e circumstances, related to his defence. although seemingly abnormal, are purely trivial and yet conducive to a fair inference that he did not commit this crime.” "Say. 80. dat's all ter de good!” cried Mr. Bilk* enthusiastically, mopping his black hair from his deep-set eyes as he leaned forward eagerly. “1 never did a job yet ” "There, there.” broke in counsel sharply. "that will do, sir.” “l-et the witness finish.'' purred the Court gently. “Dat I was ashamed of.” concluded Mr. Bilks defiantly. “A striking illustration of the perfect candour of tin- simple mind.” cried Mr. Butterworth exultantlv ; "revealing at a flash the man's innate honesty, despite his record! He has erred; he has paid the price, and he is not ashamed to con fess it.” “Fer do love of ” gapped Mr. Bilks in an undertone. “If the Court please.” spoke up Juror Number Six pompously. “I live in Eply, and there are stone dogs scattered about the premise* of the insane asylum. What the defendant calls blood was paint. I remember well when the images were being freshly pamted.” “Ah-a-a!” snarled the heretofore quiescent District Attorney, jumping to his feet. Then he collapsed, as he realised how foolish it was to rutile a juror. But his imploring gaze was not lost upon his friend, the judge, who promptly. and a bit warmly, reminded the juror he was there to hear and not be heard. But. as the offender set hi* lower jaw and drew down his mouth. Mr. Butterworth smiled brightly and observed to the District Attorney that truth should not be feared, even when coming from a juror. The Court, fearing to go further into the situation, could only glare at Num her Six and snap to counsel: "Proceed.'* “Where did you go after leaving the dog?” continued Mr. Butterworth. "Why. 1 goes ter a church fair, where dey was playin’ some innercent sport an’ graftin' de small coins in brace games, where youse name de numlier of beans in a bottle an’ gits maced. See?” "Will you swear it wasn’t a funeral or a glee club you visited?” sneered the District Attorney. ’"lf the Court plea*e.” gravely remonstrated Mr. Butterworth. “1 tadieve the defendant has the right to be heard, even if in telling his story he does fly in opposition to the inclination of my learned and inopportune friend.” The Court coughed behind a pudgy band and frowned judicially for a few seconds, and then compromised by commanding : “ l*roceed.*' “What happened at the fair?” resumed counsel. “Why. when 1 steps in. kind of softlike. an' sees me clothes don't match up wid dt* rest of de guy*’ fixin's. 1 picks up a talked apple an’ skidoos." ' <o.” cried the District Attorney tri mnphantly. "’you do admit, sir. that at least \on are guilt \ of petit larceny?” “ I hat's w hat he has sworn to.” declared the judge loudly. “Wi<l all recommendations fer de mercy of de (Hurt. I's done nut'tin' of de kind.” croaked M". Bilks in hoarse anger. "Why. ter de love of Say. 80, is dey goin’ ter spike me good name like dat ” ••There, there!” soothed Mr. Butterworth. “That will do. sir.” Then to the judge he added: “1 know this Court

is s«» big. so magnanimous, that it will nut heed the strivings of an untutored soul, eager only to assert its innocence.’’ "Dat would certainly sound punk from any gent but youse.*’ observed Mr. Bilks doubtfully. “But wot I was goin' ter sa\ was dat over de apples was a sign, writ large, dat read: ‘Take a Chance.’ Dat was meter de finish.” "Your Honor,” bubbled Juror Number Six eagerly, forgetting his recent rebut! and now leaning far out over the rail. "I was there, and some unknown, roughly-dressed man did snatch an apple from the guessing booth, which bore the placard he speaks of. And in one of the apples was a gold ring, and the chances were ten cents each, although not so stated on the placard.” Then he added sorrowfully: "The ring was never found in any of the apples sold, and was probably contained in the one snatched by the stranger.” "I demand the privilege of asking the juror if this is the ring taken from the fair and contained in the apple.” said Mr. Butterworth gravely. The juror, who now considered him self greater than the Court, broke silence by crying: "If it has a narrow, oval band with the initials ’L.A.F.' for •Ladies’ Auxiliary Fair.’ engraved inside, it is our ring!” "It has such an inscription, and J ***' fer it in evidence.” said Mr. Butterworth. "I contend the defendant entered the church vestry on the night Iris represented as being busy in blowing the lumber company’s safe. Being hungry and seeing the sign. ’Take a Chance, over the luscious pile of baked apples, he obeyed the dictates of his stomach, reassured by the generous wording of the placard, and seized an apple and retreated. That he did not know of the presence of the ring : s self-evident, as we must assume 1 hr guessing contest was to be a fair one. That he did not sell the ring is evidence of his honesty.* "The contest was certainly fair and square. Cm a dea-on in that be gan Juror Number Six complacently. But he was cut oil by the Court’s irascible voice crying: "Will you refrain from taking over all responsibility in tl is trial, sir?* “Ami. your Honor.” cried the District Attorney, now awake to the tact that he had been silent overlong. "I want to interpose an objection!” "You object to what?” asked the old lawyer pleasantly. The District Attorney rumpled his hair and glared wildly at his rival for a few seconds, and then lamely qualified: "To everything about this ring. "The ring will be returned to the Ladies’ Auxiliary Society.” said Mr. Butterworth sternly, "whether you ob ject or not.” Juror Number Six smiled openly at this announcement. "I will now ask the witness if he ever plays cards,” said Mr Butterworth. “When Cs a kid l’s a wise guy wid any kind of a pasteboard game.” was the rumbling reply. "So that you know one card from another ?’’ "Oh. your Honor. I must protest!” cried t lie District Attorney: then sarcastically: "Unless you intend to show he lost the stolen money in some game of chance. Are we to understand he frittered it away at the church fair?” "Fer de love of ——" ejaculated the indignant witness, when his attorney stilled him ami explained to the Court: "It is merely intended to pave the way for perfecting our alibi.” "Then we must receive it.” moaned the Court, now openly evidencing his per turbation. “But —er— kindly keep as close to the bounds of normality as possible. counsel.” Mr Butterworth promptly took an exception to the last remark and then allowed the defendant to state that In 1 did know every card in the pack and knew them intimately. "Di<i you meet a playing card that night, after leaving the church fair?” At this question Juror Number Three displayed symptoms of hysteria and caused tin* Court to demand: "What are you laughing at. sir?” Number Three denieil the imputation and insist cd that his bulging eyes ami red face were purely the results of a coughing spell. "I felt a» if I was going to have a lit.” he ad<led humbly. “How dare you have fits in my court room? Di<i you ever have a tit?’ pursued the Court hotly. "No. sir.” "Then how do you know .it felt like one? A man who has fits is disqualified

for jury duty,” stormed the Court. "Huh! Repeat the question, stenographer.” The query was put anew, and Mr Bilks, who had been winking reassuringly at nervous Number Three, gave attention and replied: “I certainly did. He was walking near de edge of de town.” "( aid was walking,” murmured the C ourt, speaking wholly to himself and in a trancelike tone. "Dat’s wot. Dat is, he was in a guy’s hatland dat was walkin’,” modified the wit ness. "What card was it?” inquired Mr Butterworth gently. "De Jack of Spades.” "What was the man doing, in whose hat you saw this card?” "Not much of nut’tin'.” deprecated the witness sorrowfully. "Only now an’ den he’d light a match an’ look inter a big milk-can ter see de time o’ day.” "Witness.” cried the astounded Court, while the District Attorney held his aching head unsteadily, "do you mean to tell this Court a man looks into milkcans to ascertain the hour?” "Say. 80, dat sifts in slow,” rem on -t rated Mr Bilks earnestly: "but 1 leckons l’s on an' twigs de drift. An’ I do mean it. De guy was potted— ’’ "1 believe he intends to say the man was intoxicated,” explained Mr Butterworth softly. "Well, he had it proper, anyway. An’ he was a milkman. An’ he’d strike a flicker an' take a squint inter de can an’ den call de hour. Dat’s all.” insisted Mr Bilks, now looking very solemn. "We have the milkman in Court,’’ assured Mr Butterworth, "and although reluctant to appear and confess his weakness, yet to save an innocent man he is here, ready to admit his inebriated condition on this night in question; and also to relate how he wore home in his hatband from a neighbourhood cardparty the Jack of Spades. He left the party at eleven o’clock, thus proving conclusively the defendant met him and observed his actions at an hour when the prosecution alleges he was ten miles to the east, busy robbing a safe.” This completed the direct examination of Mr Bilks, and. cross-question as he would, the District Attorney could gain no advantage. He dared not ridicule the stone dog and baked apple and the lone playing-card too strongly, as Juror Number Six had vouched for the first two, and doubtless there were several witnesses ready to establish the last. bhe milkman was called next. He testified in detail, in so far as he could remember, what Mr Butterworth had promised to obtain from him. Then followed several of his neighbours, who grinned broadly in describing his actions when wearing the Court card in his hat. I’hat closed the evidence, although 1 he District Attorney recalled the company’s manager and the man who swore to seeing the defendant fleeing from the scene of the robbery. The two attorneys were brief in their summaries: the Court was sleepy and rambling in his charge, and the jury returned a verdict of not guilty. While Mr Bilks was busy returning the felicitations of "Butch” McCarty and other friends, the old lawyer gathered up his papers and quietly made for his oilice. He had done his duty, and acquitted an innocent criminal, and now he wished to see him and his class no mine. But if he thought to escape thus easily he erred, as an hour after he had reached his desk the door opened softly nay. almost slyly and Mr Bilks stepped gently in. "Jest dropped round ter say ranks? he explained grufily and almost sheepishly. as he exhaled a heavy cloud of smoke from a big pipe. "Not necessary. Mr Bilks. 1 have been paid in full and it's all right. By t he way. I never smoke a pipe, you know. Sometimes I think the smoke chokes me up.” said Mr Butterworth stiffly. "Say.” declared Mr Bilks impressively. removing his pipe. "1 ain't so low down but wot I can take a hint when it’s kicked inter me. But how a new pipe, sweet as Heaven, can stuff a guy up gits yers truly. Look at it.” ami he held it from him in pride. “l’s heftin’ dat joy producer cost ten plunks.” Mr Butterworth pricked up his ears a bit and carelessly said: “Fully as much as that. You gave ” ".Jest free hundred cowpons fer it.” "What!” cried Counsel. “Coupons!

And then you did get them, after all?” “Why, yes, Bo.’’ grinned Mr Bilks; "is put me hoof in, I reckon. But wot’s de odds? l’s acquitted. An’ l’s did git de cowpons.” “And the money?’’ gasped the old lawyer. “Never had a smell at it,” mourned Mr Bilks sadly. "Say. dat manager is a smooth *un! He smooched de wad. after temptin’ meter do de job. De foot was ter be in a fat wallet an' we was ter go cahoots. See? An’ den 1 wakes up an* finds me prize is only a mess of cowpons. Course, if 1 blowed de gaff no one would believe me, an’ he was wise enough ler know I’d say nitto. "But how could this man of bieuness meet and know you and put himself in your power by making any such a deal?” demanded Mr Butterworth icily, his eyes seeking the telephone. "Why,” explained Mr Bilks easily, "his porter use ter be a ol’ pal of mine. He reformed an' got work wid dis guy's company, an’ dey got thick at last, an' when de manager decided he’d frame up a clean-up he reached me t’ro de porter. I was ter pinch de stuff an’ divvy. See? An’ I gits a new pipe out of it. See?’’ "But the alibi!” expostulated Mr Butterworth. "The juror substantiated that. Wasn’t any of it real?” “De t’ings was all hunkey: real see*, ery. youse know. De apple an' de dawg an’ de Jack was all on deck, but it wasn't me dat was in Eply ter twig 'em. Butch is de only harp in de city dat can handle a tough ward. Say, he's slick! One of de boys pul up a ring fer drinks in his dry house, an’ when he was busy gunnin’ ’round ter dig up a aliby fer yers truly he remembered it an’ framed up a few more t’ings dat was bein’ pulled off in Eply on dat night. An’, when I could show down dat I was de guy wot see ’em. de gitaway was easy. See?” “I see.” said Mr Butterworth sadly. "And here is the retainer 1 received from your cultured friend. Mr McCarty. (Jive it back to him. It is tainted. The door is right behind you. Good-day.” "Why. 80. I certainly wants youse ter keep dis reward of merit er holdin' out a helpin’ hand ter me—” remonstrated Mr Bilks earnestly, but he was cut short with another curt “Good-day." Within forty-eight hours the creditors of ’he Ward-Hungar Lumber Company were agreeably surprised to learn they would be paid in fuN. ami yet another day saw a new manager in charge. A week later Mr Butterworth awoke to find his house had been feloniously entered during the night. And on a library table was an envelope containing a sum of money and a rough-scrawled note, which read: — “Youse certainly was good to me this money haint tainted see it comes clen an fresh from th** house of the judge wot tried to jug me I always remember my friends.—Slinky Bill.”