Your Son’s Friends.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXVI, Issue 17, 28 April 1906, Page 61

Your Son’s Friends.

Did you ever ask yourself what kind of lads your son’s friends are? Most likely you have thought about it a good deal. But have you ever stirred yourself in the matter? Have you ever encountered these youngsters personally? If you haven’t, it is time you made a move. “ I’ve been watching over the youngster for fifteen years,” you say. “ So has his mother. He’s not likely to go back on us now. He’s sure to choose

to go around with the kind of chums we’d like.” But is he! Don’t be too sure of it! I was talking with a mother the other day. The chat was not a particularly happy one. Poor woman! her boy had. in our coarse British phrase. “ gone to the dogs.” “Why? Why? Why?” she asked. I could have told her why. THE BOY WHO WENT WRONG. That boy of hers was of the kind that loves gaiety and companionship.

His father was a student, who spent all his evenings reading massive tomes and fingering rare editions. He had neither the time nor the inclination to have his son's friends round at the home in the evenings. He disliked visitors. partieularlv young visitors. He made his dislikes plain. Consequently, that boy of his didn’t ask his friends round more than once. Tlie boy had a sense of social obligation. If they can’t come here. I can’t go to their places." he told himself. Consequently he dropped them gradually, and took up another set—the set that you needn t ask home, the set you wouldn’t ask home if you could. They said they were "‘the boys.” ami they showed him how' to enjoy himself without troubling the folk at home. THE SMALL BEGINNINGS. He didn’t care much about it at first, but one can get used to anything. He was ashamed of his ignorance of things they seemed to think essential to being “ one of the boys.” There was not really very much harm in those things at first. But they were the beginnings. He went to the dogs. It is not a nice tale, is it? If I had told that boy’s father the reason of his son’s downfall he would have been vastly surprised. You can’t be certain what a lad will do when he gets out in the world. But you can be certain of this. He won't bring to the home any companions he’d not have his mother or his sister meet. That’s your safeguard. Let the lad ask his friends in any time he likes. If you once let them 'know they’re welcome. personally, you can leave them to their own devices. They won’t abuse your hospitality. Youngsters don’t do that. Never mind if you do dislike company. It will do you good to put yourself out for a bit. And vour son’s future depends a good deal on the wav you treat his friends. Perhaps your aversion from company is mostly because you think vou cannot afford to entertain. BE SURE BEFORE YOU ACT. If you are really so badly off that vou cannot afford an extra cut at the bread and cheese and an extra cup of cocoa when supper-time comes round, tell vour boy about it. There’s nothin- 'bad about being poor, and your son’s' chums will understand—that is. if they are the right sort of Lids. But don’t draw your purse-strin-s tight unless you absolutely must. The kind of entertaining you’ll be called upon to do on the boy’s account won’t amount to much. And you've got to bear in mind what that modest social board means to the youth who bears vour name Home is the proper place to see one’s chums. If you let him have them in he won’t want to meet them in places which are. to say the least, a distinetly undesirable environment for youth. Believe me. you’ll get a deal of pleasure out of your son’s friends if vou go the right way to work. MAKE Ylll'R SON’S FRIENDS YOER FRIENDS. Listen a minute. Do you like l>einlooked lip to? Well, if'you chmr up with those youngsters they'll look up to you. They'll make a regular hero of you. It’s nice to be made a hero of. even if you know you’re far from being one. You try to get nearer the ideal, anywa .v. There's just one other thing you have to remember. If you owe it to your son to put him in the way of getting with a crowd of manly. stright-thinking. sunn.v-mind-ed youngsters, you owe it still more to his mother. You may have had to work hard to keep the home as it grew; but vou h ,v to consider how hard she has worked in the upbringing of that son of yours. The real hard work, the characterbuilding, has fallen a deal on her. Give the work of her heart a chance. You may grieve if your son unhappily goes wrong, but it will break the mother’s heart.