English Wives and French Husbands.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXIV, Issue 11, 18 March 1905, Page 60

English Wives and French Husbands.

To Iwgin with, wedding calls an* made l»\ the newly married couple not to them. I he bride puts on her most becoming toilette, ami goes with her husband to < ill on all his married friends; never er* his uninat ried ones, bien entcndu, he pays lln»>e calls alone. To Is* taken round on approval is trying for a French girl, but for a natural.y reserved Englishwoman it is positively painful, and the agonies of apprehension she experiences are only exceeded later, when she goes to her husband’s country house, and, as a new-comer, has to call on people neither he nor she knows. It is quite against her insular nature to offer all the information about herself that she can drag into the conversa lion, or. as is sometimes done, to proffer references so as to inspire the confidence of her hostess; and unless she be a woman of exceptional tact she is very liable to ■put her feet in the plate ’ more than once during the visit. In the case of the family being ‘not at home” she leaves her card with the corner turned down, and P.F.C. (pour fa ire connaissance) written on it. A SMALL ANNOYANCE. Another small annoyance to an English giri when she adopts France as her country is that, even though a married woman, she should not go out alone until she is on the wrong side of thirty. A relation or some friend o'.der than herself should Im* asked to drive and walk with her. Also she must remember that it is the man who bows first in France. True, tne woman can always give some slight sign of recognition if there is any doubt <»n the man's side: but she does not how until he has uncovered, and. howevei well she may know him. she mu-t not Im* seen walking or driving with him alone. HIE BRIDE'S AT HOME DAY. < In her at-home day the young hostess must In-ware of pitfalls. There is none of the ease of Eng ish afternoon tea to help her through, for though ‘‘live o'clock” is now fashion able in France, it is rather an adaptation than a translation of the real thing, and has none of its cosy, home-like charm. The arrangement of a typical French draw ing room does not lend itself to tete-a-tetes or merry discussions; the armchairs an- hard and elegant, and arc placed in ceremonious circles, so that conversation deve’ops either into a discordant chorus or a monologue. Age. in France, is treated with greater ceremony than it is in England, and a slight to an older woman than oneself is repaid a hundredfold. Her chair must be placed in tin* most comfortable seat.

out of a draught, and with its back to the window; and she must lead the convet nation and Im* listened to with reverence. lea. or ••gouter.” is served at a sidetable. and it is not considered bad form to dip your cake in your tea before eating DIN N Ell PA 111 V ETI <JI ETT E. The etiquette of a dinner party in Paris differs very little from one in London. \\ hen “madame est servie.” the guests go down in the usual way; and after dinner, though the men do not stay in the dining-room alone, they more often than not form into groups about the drawingroom. and gradually slink off to the smoking-room and ‘‘bridge.’* leaving the poor unfortunate hostess to get through the evening as best she can with the women, who either bore each other to death or talk scandal. LEAVING CARDS. An American woman once told me that English etiquette, in the matter of leaving cards, nearly drove her mad; but French etiquette is even more rigorous, though its difficulties do not lie in knowing how many cards you must leave, but rather upon whom you are entitled to leave one at all. Married people may have a joint card wit a their address stamped on it; but not women alone, whether married or single. A woman under 28 has no cards at all. unless she Im* married, so her name is added to her mother’s. Young women leave cards <m their elders first; but neither old nor young may leave them upon the opposite sex un ess in a very exceptiona 1 case of old age and long friendship. (In New Year’s Day of the leaving of ends there is no end and it does indeed become a weariness to the flesh. The Government officials are dashing about all day in State carriages and society in all iis stages puts itself “endimanche” (in its Sunday clothes) and rushes round its acquaintance with good wishes in various foims for ‘‘la nouvelle an nee.” But of a 1 the complicated points in the laws of French society that of correspondence is the most difficult to grasp. There are about a hundred ways of sending a letter according to whom you are writing. To an equal you express your sentiments in various manifold ways, but never assure them ; and vice versa to an inferior. To a tradesman you offer your best compliments and salute him; a servant you bid to believe in your good feelings; and an intimate you embrace.

send thousands of loves, and kiss emphatically on both cheeks for at least half a page. Invitation letters are much the same as in England, only more ceremonious, and the answers are infinitely more elegantly expressed. Any Englishwoman who marries a Frenchman would do we I to take a course of .»'•sons in the e<i«|iie.ie of his conn try and particular rank of life, for it is the small things of life which go to make up the big ones, am! tact is the fuel with which to feed the flame of love; and no man in the world appreciates the art of “savoir vivre” more keenly than does a Frenchman. G 0 O O 0