HERE AND THERE.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXIV, Issue 2, 14 January 1905, Page 13

HERE AND THERE.

A visitor to one of our dockyards the other day noticed a large board suspended over the side of a huge ironclad, now approaching completion, upon which the following legend was inscribed: “Notice to Russian Naval Officers.—This is not a fishing srnaek.” Further on was a large destroyer, which had been similarly decorated with the inscription: “A toothpick for the Kussian Navy.”—London “Star.” Two little girls were engaged in an animated discussion as to the merits of their respective homes. “Well, anyway,” said one little maiden in a triumphant tone, “you may have more bedrooms than we have, but we have more cream than you do. We have enough for our porridge every single morning." “Pooh!” said the other, “that’s nothing. We own a Jersey cow, and we get a whole cowful of cream twice every day.” The endowing of every Englishman with a physical training of a military character —that is, with an elementary knowledge of drill and of the use of the rifle—would act as a bulwark against the militarism of the Continent rather than as an encouragement. If the population as a whole knew the elements of the soldier’s business, there would be far less fear than now of our being hurried at a moment of panic into some unnecessary and dangerous scheme of compulsory service.—-“ Spectator.” The chief items of interest in the December "Life” are “How I Wrote ’Deeds That Won the Empire,’ ” by W. H. Fitchett; “A Day on the Bridge of a Mail Boat,” by Captains Symons, of the Oinrah; and “How a Presidential Election is Reported,” by Hartley Davis. Dr. Fitchett’s serial and Mr G. 11, Lorimer’s “Letters of a Self-Made Merchant to His Son” conclude with this issue. Their places will be taken by a new book from the pen of H. G. Wells, and a series of Australian stories by Rolfe Boldrewood, both beginning with the January number. There’s the man behind the gun. Aud the man behind the loom; There’s the man behind the stove, And tlie man behind the boom. There’s the man behind the hank, And the man behind the till; There’s the man behind the club, Aud the man behind the quill. There’s the man behind the horse, And the man behind the cow; There’s the man behind the hoe, Aud the man behind the plough, There’s the man .behind the fist. And the man behind the curse: There’s the man behind the pick, Aud the man behind the hearse. There’s the man behind th“ jokes. And the man behind the rhymes; But I’d rather be behind them all Than the man behind the times. Good vinegar contains acetic acid. This acid has the effect of softening muscular fibres and rendering hardboiled eggs more digestible.. A small quantity of vinegar added to meat, such as corued beef or boiled beef, salmon, lobster, or vegetables with hard fibre, such as cabbage and turnips, renders these foods more digestible. People have generally added vinegar to these foods purely as a matter of taste. It was with no thought that it rendered the food more digestible. This is another of many cases where the natural appetite of the people, instinctively, as it seems, is in consonance. with the scientific laws of feeding. A Sydney barber possessed of q small saloon and one bath amazes the new customers by “gag” orders. Thus to his staff of man and boy: “Tell Jones when he conies in to go to Hie “Oxford” and shave Mr Bland Holt. Now then, hurry up with the key of No. 10 bath, don’t keep the gentleman waiting. “Back in a moment; have to hair cut Sir Harry Rawson.” After ail, its the old trick of a display of Empties. Young attorneys and medicos use it for years. In baby

sharks case a formidable display of precedent papers and printed forms done up into dummy instruction papers, and labelled Smith v. Brown, etc., arc displayed. The medico relies on shelves of coloured water, physic bottles, and faked instruments, in which garden and house tools nre ingeniously made to look like obstetric operators. Some amusing stories of the Canadian general election are beginning to leak out. lu Canada the law forbids the use of party colours in an election campaign, as tending to aggravate partisan ferocity. .Still, after the election it is found convenient in many eases to print Liberals in red and Conservatives in blue. The clergy of Quebec province al '? forbidden by law to use their spiritual influence on either side in politics. One fatherly old priest, in addressing his flock before the election, expressed himself thus: “My children, 1 have nothing to say to you about politics. The law forbids nre to meddle in these matters. I may, however, be permitted to remind you that Heaven is blue, and that Hell is rouge.” A lady golfer tells a story of an eldertly bachelor in Edinburgh who liad played golf from boyhood up. He had never courted a girl because, he said, golf hadn’t allowed him the time. Hence, everybody was surprised one day to hear that the crusty old gentleman was to be married. A caddie—the caddies are nien in Scotland —went to him, wrung him by the hand, and said, sentimentally, “Man I’m glad yer goin’ to wed. I t'hink ye must love her dearly. I know your life will be all bliss and sweetness now, and I envy ye the golden days o’ romance in store.” “Pooh, pooh, Robert!” said the. other. “It’s nothing of that sort. Macmann, the champion, took a wife last year, and it improved his game. lam just taking one in the hope that it will improve mine.”

An observant Anglo-Indian friend of mine who has arrived here by way of America, where he spent seme months, tells me that a bureau of travel has been set up in New York, by the aid of which you can “tour” round the world, or take shorter trips abroad, by simply drawing down your blinds and living in retirement (remarks a writer in a Home weekly). You go to the bureau and buy a number of post-cards of different countries. You address these to your friends in New York, and date them successively from a number of foreign places to be included in your itinerary. Then you return them to the bureau, which sends them abroad to agents, by whom they are posted at the places and on the dates which the “traveller” has marked on them. In due course they reach the addresses in New York, who arc all ready to congratulate their friend on his holiday when he emerges into view again! “lan Maclaren” recounted this story in a lecture on Scottish humour: In a dull Scottish village, on a dull morning, one neighbour called at another’s house. He was met at the door by his friend’s wife, and the conversation which ensued was thus: “Canid’” “Gann tae lie weety (rainy), I’m thinkin.” “Ay.” “Is John in?” “Ou, ay! he’s in.” “Can 1 see him?” “Na.” “But a winted tac see him.” “Ay, but ye canna sec him. John’s deid.” “Deid J” “Ay.” “Sudden “Ay.” “Verra Sudden?” “Ay, very sudden.” “Did he say ony thing a boot a pot o’ green pent afore he deid?”—Leaves from the Scrapbook of a Scottish Exile.

Dr. Isaac Barrow, chaplain-in-oniinsiy to Charles 11., was more appreciated by the King for his wit and vivacity than for his learning. The witty and wicked Lord Rochester once met his match in Barrow. Rochester, thinking to banter him, with a flippant air and a low, formal bow, accosted him with, “Doctor, I am yours to my shoe-tie.” Barrow, perceiving his drift, returned the salute with “My lord, I ain yours to the ground.” Rochester, on this improving his blow, quickly rc;urned it with, “Doctor, I am yours to the centre,” which was smartly followed up by Barrow with, “My lord, I am yours to the Antipodes.” Upon which Rochester, disdaining to be foiled by a musty old pieee of divinity- as he used to call him, exclaimed, “Doctor, I am yours to the lowest pit of hell.” Upon which Barrow. turning upon his heel, with a sarcastic smile, replied “There, my lord, 1 leave you.” “The Review’ of Reviews” for Australasia for December contains many interesting articles. It is the twelfth number issued under Mr Henry Stead’s editorship. During his year's control lie has certainly iranaged to increase the use and interest of the magazine. Hie principal feature this month is the first of a series of articles by Mr W. T. Stead on the “Theatre.” In his introductory paragraph he says, “In the present, preliminary papers an attempt is made to excuse, perhaps even to justify, or at least to condone, the theory of a conduct of fife which kept the writer outside the playhouse, until, after thirtythree years of active journalistic labour, he has decided to undertake a personal tour of enquiry through all the theatres of London, which will be reported month by month in the “Review of Reviews.’” The articles are creating 9 surprising amount of discussion in England. Next month Mr Stead will give his impressions of the production of “The Tempest,” the first play seen by him. “The Land of Hope” and of “Pretty Soon," “Tlie Land of the Nevcr-to-bc.” And “The Land of Might” and "The Land of Dreams" Are worked to the limit, see? And other varieties of strange lands Have steadied tlie poet’s spurt: But I I sing of whichever you choose—• Of the Laud of "Here Insert!" Ah, all of the dreams of youth come true In the land of (Here Insert!) The girls have eyes of a wonderful hue In tile land of (Here Insert!) Never a sorrow and never a pain, Never a loss but always gain. Ever the sun and never the rain In the land of (Here Insert!) Faith is a fadeless plant that grows In the land of (Here Insert!) And lips make mock of the red June rose In the land of (Here Insert!) And death sifts downward soft as sleep Ou eyes that never have learned to weep, And fine dress patterns arc sold quite cheap In the land of (Here Insert!) And so, kind friends, if you happen to have A special desire to sing A land of nny particular style. Yet haven’t the time for the thing. Just take the second and third of these Verses (easy as dirt!) And put the name of your mythical land Where it tells you to "Here Insert!" Joseph Jefferson once told a friend that during his long stage career be ha i never been associated with any ons showing undue familiarity with him save one individual, a man named Bagley, who some years ago was properly man in the comedian's company. This Bagley annoyed Mr. Jefferson very much by his somewhat offensive manners, but owing to the valuable services rendered by him. Mr. Jefferson had always been loath to take measures more severe than a reprimand. Bat finally the familiarity of tnc property man increased to an extent impossible to endure, so he was summarily discharged. This dismissal occurred just before the opening of Mr. Jefferson’s engagement one year in Baltimore. That night Bagley got exceedingly drunk. Paying his way into the theatre he repaired io the gallery, there to see his old employer enact Rip Van Winkle. The angry Gretchen had just driven poor, destitute Rip from the cottage, when Rip turns, and, with a word of pathos, asks: “Den I haf no interest in dcr house?” The theatre was deathly still, the audience half in tears, when Bagley’s cracked voice was heard in response : “Only 80 per cent.. Joe, old boy; only 80 per cent.”—“Harper’s Weekly."

There is some parlous sluff in the evidently unauthorised biography of the Duke of Devonshire, just produced by Mr Henry Ltech. "High social per■onages, who inhabit the fashion quarters (sie) of the West End,” appear (says "The Times") to have supplied the author with special information about the Duke's He has, we are. fold, a preference for eheck trousers instead of sober stripes; he likes flat, low collars and does net mind if they hare atrip.es on them; and his low shoes, betraying his brightly-col-oured hose, have been immortalised by cartoonist*. We also hear of "oldtime visits to Paris,” whew the Duke enjoyed 'a real wine at forty franes the bottle, which was eurked three years before Waterloo." Corked! Well, it was a monstrous overcharge, ami if the Duke was really strong enough to enjoy the stuff, it is no wonder that he has always had perfect health. "Can you cook ?” "Yes, mum; everything.” "And wash?” “Yes, mum.” "How many nights out do you want?” "None.” "Sunday afternoon?” "No, mum.” •‘How often will you scrub the kitchen ?” "Twice a week.” "And wash the windows?” “Every Friday.” "Be up early every morning?* 7 "Yes, mum.” "Do you dislike children?” "No, mum.” "How long were you in your last place?” “Four year*.” “Why did you leave?” , "The people went abroad.” "How much wages do you want?” "A pound a month.” "When can you eome?” "To-morrow.” Just then a keeper from the asylum rushed iw. shouting, "Oh, there you. are!” bound her hand and foot, and carried her otf bodily. “I have a favour to ask of you.” As he spoke, the visitor looked appealingly at the agent of the automobile house, who scanned his fa.ee .closely-. “Unless I ani greatly mistaken, sir,” he observed, "you are the gentleman to whom we sold a second-hand auto two weeks ago.” The other man smiled a pathetic smile. "1 am that unhappy man, sir,” he observed. “And your favour?” • “Is this. In order to make that machine go, 1 found I had to put in a new chain; this necessitated new front and tear sprockets, whi h meant new bearings. Then I put in a new fly-wheel, new gears; new ball bearings, new carbureter, new tanks, new' circulating system, including gear pump and radiators: also new back and front, new tyres and new inner tubes. And now, my dear sir, having gotten the old thing so f can worry it baek and forth .twice a day to and from the station, I •want to know if you would have any objection to supplying me with two feet of one-inch rubber hose pipe at the regular discount to the trade.” His wife came into the room where be was sitting. She was twisting herself around in the effort to look at the Trick of her new blouse. By the tense fine* and the bulging aspect about her lips he know that her mouth wax full of pins. He knew it anyway, without looking for those symptoms. "Uniph gof-vv ulf-w uff-sh-t'h-bf-fsvf-f-f,” she sa ; d. “Yes. it looks ail right,” he answered, resuming his paper. “Owf wuff gs-pf-suf-up tip vv-T-r-oogh-•th,” she mumbled. “Of. course it does,” he assured her, glaming over the top of the paper, ‘ft fits like the paper on the wall.” “Sw-ssh iizuzuz-woll-ghr-m-m m-sh-p-Z z." she said, stamping her foot. "Didn’t I tell you it was all right?” asked the man. lowering bis {taper. "Maybe it heeds a little taking up on the shoulders, but nobody could notice it.” Hastily lotting the pins fall from her mouth to her hand, she cried, “I’ve asked you three times to raise the window blind so that 1 could get more light. It’s a pity you can’t understand plain English.*'

At a dinner of the Orwell Corinthian Yacht'Clubj held at Felixtowe recently (says the "Tiinea”), Sir Cuthbert fuller, M.P., told an unusually amusing story of Fitzgerald, the translator of Omar Khayyam. Me began his yachting career, he -aid, with a 12-ton schooner, which he bought of Mr Fitzgerald. They would never think that a poet or a translator of poetry would liave named his I mat the Emetic, but such was the case, and be provided her with apples, herrings, and a bottle of gin. The story was told of him that one day he was on the Debeo, on board the Emetic, in his usual tall hat and frock coat, reading "The Tinies,” when the boat gave a lurch, and the translator of Omar went to the bottom. It was a most remarkable fact -—and not a hit of Eastern imagination—that when Mr Fitzgerald came up again he had his pipe in his. mouth, his tall hat upon his head, and “The Times” in his hand. It was further stated that when he got baek on Itoard his little eraft he calmly finished reading the article that was previously engaging his attention. Whether he afterwards partook of either an apple, a red herring, or some of the gin, he was not in a position to say. Among the following amusing advertisements there are one or two new faces among some old friends: —- "Annual sale now going on. Don’t go elsewhere to be cheated —come in here.” "A lady wants to sell her piano, as she is going abroad in a strong iron frame.” “Wanted, experienced nurse for bottled baby.” “Furnished apartments suitable for gentlemen with folding doors.” “Wanted, a room -or two gentlemen about 15 feet long and 20 feet broad.” “Irnst, a collie dog by a man on Saturday answering to Jim with a brass collar around his neck and a muzzle.” "Wanted, by a respectable girl, her passage to New York, willing to take care of children and a good sailor.”. "For sale, a pianoforte, the property of a musician with carved fegs.” “Mr Brown, furrier, begs to announce that he will make up gowns, capes, etc., for ladies out of their own skin.” , “A boy. wanted .who can open oysters' with a reference.” • , . "Bulldog for hale; will eat anything; very .fond of children.” "Wanted an organist and a boy to blow the same.” "Wanted, jt boyAo_bc. partly outside and partly behind the counter.” There’s a nest in the bank ‘mid the daisies. By the side of the whispering stream, Where the pink ragged robins are tossing. Ami the golden marsh-marigolds lire: in. There’s a nest in the depth of the greenness,’ So sheltered and safe and stil-; And the mother bird sits o’er her treasnrt s. And her mate sings above on the hilt But the met on the bank will he empty. When the little ones fly far away. And the two little birds on the hillside Wi l grieve in their toneness that day. Bit. al>! little mother bird tender, Though blithely the yonng oues may dream. There’!; lie’er be a home in the wide, wide world Like the nest by the side of the stream. “I’ve not mr.de up my mind,” raid Carrie. “Whether J really dare to marry. Mon do such rude, ungenerous things. Not,that I’d have them sprouting wings, But why, why don’t they cultivate Soft, genti? ways and live sedate? Society would-stand aghast If womankind lived half so fast!” "That’s trite,” he answered. "In the m in Men do live faster- Mite explain: When we left echoed long years ago Our ages were the same, you know; Taking that record of the past 1 must have lived eonfoui tied fast, Else how comes it I’m thirty-two And only twenty-four are yon?” Tt is interesting to learn on the authority of the author of a book entitled “Catching Cold.” that there, are 22 different ways in which to catch a cold. We quote a few of the most common causes of cold: — Allowing the physical system to become enfeebled through the disregard of silhple laws of health. An uncleanly or unhealthy condition of the skin induced by neglect of daily bathing. Wearing insufficient clothing in winter. Going to bed with cold feet. Standing on stone or cold ground.

Standing at the fire when one’* clothes are wet—a very dangetous' practice. t • ’- Habitually "sitting with the back to the fire. \ ' Sitting or standing in draughts, cepecially when .lhe bady i.s warm. .Sitting or standing too long near a window. The excessive use of stimulating drinks and of hot drinks before going out. laving or sleeping in badly ventilated rooms. Breathing the vitiated air of a crowded room. Too sudden exposure to heat after exposure to cold. “In these days daughters and wives resent the advice and supervision of those whom Providence ordained to look after’ and protect them. They go to clubs, they' mix with loafers of their own sex, with occasional variations; they behave with the independence of wild young men about town: they desecrate home life—in short, they support ladies’ clubs.” The foregoing is the conclusion of a spirited attack on women’s clubs in an article in “The "World of Dress.” ’• The writer—a woman evidently—believes that, unless she wants to smoke, drink, flirt, and bet, a woman has no need of a club. - But nowadays nearly every woman la-longs to one, which is, the writer believe*, the reason that home, as it used to be, "dwindling into merely a place to sleep -at.” and the home duties and the home life no longer interest the modern women. - Ten years ago a woman’s- club was a rarity-. To-day .in the West End they are as “plentiful as betting offices, and have just about as good a moral influence on the community.” “Women in smoking-rooms, women in lufliard-rooms. women hanging over th i tape which rolls out the latest, winner” —it. is not a very- enlightening picture, and the writer wonders what righteous occupation a woman can find in a club that she cannot find in her own home. Tn the course of an interesting article on "The Secrets of a Submarine” in “Pearson’s Magazine,” Mr Herbert ussell says: • "Of all the rubbish that ha* been written about, submarines the worst, is that which dilates upon the discomfort’ experienced by the occupants of these craft at a depth. Headaches, nausea, dizziness — all sorts of uncomfortable sensations are doled out. to the submarine crews by ignorant writers. To lie sure, there is a great deal of pressure at a depth, say,'of ten fathoms. But this pressure is upon the walls of the submarine, not upon you who are shut up within her interior. "The under-water endurance of the men in a submarine is solely limited by the fresh air storage. In other words, they can remain down as long as they • an breathe, although in the British Navy it is a fixed rn’e never to stay under so lory a* to exhaust tha air below a certain fixed ifiieral margin of

safety. Fur this reason the tactveal .sufficient eomj>rpsaed a>r Stored in the flasks to keep ‘the.men weft supplied for twice that length .of time., Fancy no doubt creates impressions when it has the eertajip knowledge of a considerable depth of submersion to work* upon. But of actual -sensation due to diving teji fathoms deep, and remaiaii>g there for ap hour or.two, there”is liteiraßy..none.” . . .. :

Otir feet sound loud as anything, in walking on the floor. And Clem and me we telephone throegh knot-holes in the door! . . The barn’s flic bestest place on earth in summer when it rains: . The drops make-kiml-of «-ork»erews on the dusty window penes! We peep in at the horses, and they always turn around, And chew, and chew, and chew, with such a funny, crunchy sound, And their eyes arc kind as kind can be. 1 like them that way best, Just without the rtttl? shutters that they, wear when they are dreseeJ. - Their clothes are hanging near them, and they’re proud of them, perhaps, Though they’ve nothing but suspenders* bui’kJcs, chains,' and little -straps. There’s one whose name is Lady, but the rest of them are hims. And they ait make snorting noises, just like Clement when he swims’ - - The hay is warm and prickly, and the dust gets in your nose, And on the beams above yon sit the pigeons, ail in rows. They are brown, and white, and purple, but you can’t get near to pat, ’1 hough I think they ought to you. ’couse they purr jnst like a cat. ‘ ” Hut for sliding, and for hiding, and for snuggling in a nest, The hay’s the bestest thing On : and 1. stumped all the rest! They stumped me to go down the shoot; 1 wasn’t Mumped by them;. I beat them §ll at sliding?—excepting only Clem! ■ - ■ • But though the barn’s the bestest place in summer for a game. }ou find that in the winter it isn’t just the same; . - It isn’t that it’s lonely, and it isn’t that - it s cool. But Clemetii’F ,i own at Nelsen, at Mr Someone’s school! Then I watch the lilac bushes, for I’ll tell you what I’ve found— When -all the buds grow purple, and the leaves get big and round; . they shot up -Mr Someone's school, a« as quick can - be, - , And summer comes—and Clement’- —to the hayloft ami to me! Matilda ui the Barn,” by Guv Wetmore Carryl, in "Yoirth’s Companion.” Sir Jubn Fisher, who succeeded Ixird Walter Ken- on Trafalgar Day as First Sea Lord, is known throughout the Navy as a strong man who gets things done, and allows no vested .nttrtists or indirect pressure to deter him from his reforming purposes (say “M.A.P.”) In this he resembles Lord Kitchener, but - e lacks the diplomatic skill ef-the Hie .- laysn Hercules. The e ntrust bet.o-en, them is vividly brought out by i'vo stories told c-f incidents at Win? nr Castle during the closing years of Qik-'V Victoria’s re’gn. Sir John Fish r was

dining with the-Queen «• ea« oecashm, .when she*remarked that the enuld not •ay she was gratified that'a n*w yielit was being constructed fcr her use, for •he was deeply attached by many treasured associations to the old Victori* and Albert. "Ma’am,”" the bluff old sailor is said to have replied, “do not be disquieted. You may depend Upon it Chat the old yacht will last your time." Tb's speech was, no doubt well meant, but in point of tact Tt contrasts with Lord Kitchener** answer to Het Majesty •ne day when, fresh from h's Soudanese campaign, he was a gust at the Royal table. The Queen told him that she had beard many stories cf his being a woman hater, and asked, him if there •was no exception. Lord Kitchener avoid- - «d a, direct reply to the accusation, anil did all that courtesy and-reverence for the Queen demanded by rising from his chair, and, with a courtly bow; uttering the two words, “Your Majesty.”. , A recent number of the “Book” monthly contained an interview with the chief -of the well-known Methuen publishing house, fie gave some interesting points about the book trade. The Methuen firm commenced in a back room wear the British Museum some fifteen years ago. It's first venture was the publication of Edna Lyell’s “Derrick Vaughan,” which did not at the time turn out a great success. The firm’s first success was with Kipling’s “Bar-rack-room Ballads,” and many have been the successes since then. “I . daresay,’’ says Mr Methuen, speaking on the life of a book, “few people realise how short the life of an average book is, and how much shorter it is getting. ■Fifteen years ago you could count on its existence for two or three years. Now three books out of four are almost as dead as mutton in three months. You may see a few copies afterwards, but the sale that remunerates the author and publisher is over before you know where yen arc. A book is getting like a magazine—the last number is extinct on the "Ist of the month.” Of First Books, he observes: “Three out of four books fall flat. Ah, author's second good book may share a-similar fate; but if he has the root of the matter in him. he wilt come into his kingdom with his third volume. That'is, I should say. about the average on which success arrives. If a man dees not arrive at the third time, of asking, then I" am afraid the. publishers Will begin to fight shy of him.”

Fifty years ago the aveinge girl was • plain, dull, uninteresting young woman, who might or might, not be a model of the domestic virtues; but she was certainly not a very sparkling companion, nor. was she conspicuously attractive to look at; and. in accordance with "an unwritten law of the .fitness of'things, she bore a name that accorded admirably with her somewaht unexciting appearance and disposition (says • writer in a London paper, discussing girls’ names). . She was named, for instance, Susan. Alternatively she might be christened Jane—a name inevitably suggestive of white caps and domestic service; or Emma, which somehow ealls up visions of the schoolroom and • vinegary governess. If her godfathers and godmothers had spared her any of these, there remained for her the melancholy name of Eliza; or if she were really of a gay and giddy disposition, she might be given the sprightly Same of Ada. But an inevitable reaction set in •gainst these dull and drab-coloured names, and those who presided at infant christenings set to work to discover something with a more mnsieil •nd poetical sound. Suefi names as Blanche, and Gladys, and Gwendolen ■were held to have a certain aristocratic ring about them, and so they gradually filtered their way down through Society, until they were, as likely to be borne by the kitchenmaid as by the pampered daughter of a hundred carls. Flower names, such as Lily, and (Daisy and Violet, are sweet, and simple, •nd pfettyi and have established a claim on popular favour that is not likely to die out.

A correspondent writing in a recent London paper says: “Last week, by the kjndneas of a Japanese friend in this •ountry, I was invited to a dinner consisting entirely of Japanese dishes, prepared and eatep in the Japanese way. Four English ladies and gentlemen bc•ides myself were present, and to all of us the experience was new. Our host instructed us Ib the use of chopsticks,

which.took the place or knives and forks, and, though we wielded them very clumsily, we contrived, not without merriment, to get the food to our tips. lam incapable of describing the numerous dishes, but I niay say, generally, that, while soups, fish, rice, and other vegetables abounded, with a small portion of quail, “butchers’ meat” was entirely absent. Rice, of which custom requires that each guests shall eat two small bowlfuls as a minimum, formed . the foundation of the meal. It was all very good, anil we should bare eaten even more frrely than we did, had the chopsticks been more familiar implements. But what I wish specially to mention is our experience afterwards. We came away from the meal with a sense that our hanger lis'l been entirely, and agreeably, removed, but with no trace of auy feeling of repletion. Indeed, we bad no consciousness of having eaten a substantial meal. Nevertheless —and this was the most surprising thing—hunger did not return any sooner than after a heavy English dinner. Two of us did a -iar.l night’s work <f five or six hours upon that meal, and found that it sustained us ruost satisfactorily—better, we thought, than our usual dinner.” Mr Baring-Gould has laid the scene of his new romance, “In Dewisland,’' in Pembrokeshire, at the time of the Rebecca riots, in the first half of the nineteenth century. The object of these riots was to demolish the toll-gates and gate-houses which pressed heavily on the people. Roads had recently been made in Wales, and in order to pay for their maintenance the old-fashioned method of levying a toll on every horseman and conveyance was resorted to. All classes, from farmers to landowners, objected to the tolls, and- bands of rioters, in female dress, called “Rebecca and her daughters,” from the passage in Genesis xxiv. 60. where it is said, “Be thou the mother of thousands' of millions, and let thy seed possess the gate of those that hate thee,” destroyed the tollgates, and, in some cases, set fire io the gatekeepers’ houses. Mr BaringGould gives a graphic description of these riots, as well as of an interesting part, of Wales and its inhabitants. - The story is one of love, jealousy, -and revenge/the chief actors being John Evans, a farmer, his son John, and his stepson, David Narberth, a dwarf; Nathan Groes, 'an ill-conditioned young farmhand,’the villain of the tale; Mrs Bowen, a woman of means, and her daughter Dinah; and Mrs O’Grady, a penniless Irish widow, and" her granddaughter, Sheena Lewis. The plot turns on the love affairs of the five young men and women, which are rather complicated. John Evans, jun., Narberth, and Groes arc all in love with Sheena. Evans is engaged to Dinah although-there is no love between them, and Dinah prefers Nathan Groes to her betrothed. As in all Mr Baring-Gould’s novels there arcplenty of exciting incidents. Although not as good as some of the writer's romances, “In Dewisland” is an interesting story.

Apropos of the recent visit of the King and Queen of Portugal to England a London paper recalls the somewhat, romantic introduction of His Majesty to his consort. One day Don Carlos chanced to call upon the wife of -Hie French Ambassador, and saw upon the mantiepiece a photograph of an exquisite girlish face, which he was not slow to pick up for ■ the purpose of closer study. “What a charming young ’ady!” he exclaimed.- “Oui. monsieur,” was the apswer; “and she is as.charming as she looks.” The next morning tl.e Crown I’rince was in the train for Paris; and in a fortnight, bis betrothal to the Princess Amelie of Orleans was published io the world.

Queen Amelie has been an excellent Consort. It was to increase her usefulness that she went through the. laIsour of qualifying as an M.D., and once she was able to turn her medical skill to account by bringing back to conseiousness a ]>oor girl who fainted in the streets of Lisbon as the Royal carriage was passing by. Wandering, on another day, through a forest, she encountered a woodman who had cut himself severely. In a few minutes she had dressed his wounds.

But the chief claim of Queen Amelie to the affection of her subjects arises nut of her frequent efforts to eave lives that were in danger of drowning. She once rescued her own children from this fate, and it is barely four years since a thrill wout through Europe at the news that when a boatman in the Tugus was overturned Iler Majesty sprang into the

eurf and helfied to bring him safe and sound to shore. - — It l» little wonder that the Queen is always ready*to encourage all efforts on the part of school teachers and others to induce the girls of her realm to practice the art of swimming. In this connection it is interesting t-o know that, although she sometimes suffers frota a weak heart, she resolutely holds to her custom of taking a cold plunge every morning. The society craze of taking pets to places of entertainment appears to have been started at the Royal Italian Circus, where many Well-known leaders Of society. including Miss Nathalie Janotba, the German Emperor’s Court pianiste. have taken prize dogs and eats and other animals to lie introduced to Signor Volpi’s trained animals. “The- other evening,” said Signor Volpi, who ehattedwith, a London “Daily News” representative, “a gentleman well known in City brought his pet Soudanese monkey in tile stalls. We have also been honoured with visits by distinguished ladies who have actually brought their pet cockatoos, mice, and monkeys to see the performance. So long as they pay for their seats and the animals behave themselves. they cannot be refused admission. It is a strange fad. and it seems to please the dumb visitors immensely. Now and again the monkeys in the stalls are frightened at -the sound of the music, and the result is a little distracting to the performers.” . .The Italian Circus, our representative learned, is not the only place of amusement that has been selected by ladies and gentlemen who desire to treat their pets to a few hours’ entertainment. Brilliantly-dressed ladies have sat in the boxes at the Royal Italian Opera fondling live snakes and lizards. Strange pets have a fascination for ladies in high society. One lady has a devoted python twelve feet long. Another goes on her travels with a pet boa constrictor, fifteen feet long, which, of course, if it liked, eould crush her to death at any moment. If. was eaught in Somaliland. It accompanies its mistress placed in a long box. A ladies’ mouse club is in existence in the West End. and blue mottled, mice recently fetched 120 guineas a pair. The most famous cat in the world is Prince White Heather, the pet of Miss Nathalie Jnnotha. It is a perfectly black animal, and lias earned the reputation among European r<” mlties of living a, kind of mascot. Every royaltv in Europe, with the exception of the Czar, possesses three hairs plml-ej from its tail. It cnee bit President McKinley's thumb. Wherever Miss Janotlnx "ties, "he is accompanied ”bv Prince White Heather. Four cruisers for five Britt di Navy recently completed their trials, and as one of them was fitted with Hie Parsons turbine opportunity presented itself of a complete investigation as to the rotative -ecofiomy of this system of propulsion and of cmnparis.-n with data attained on similar trials of ships with the ordinary system of reciprocating machinery. The results are of the greatest importance, since they show clearly that the turbine requires less -siteam. and therefore less fuel, for a given pow-

er than reciproea-lmg engines, while st the some tmw conferring- other adyaa-t-gea of, importance in naval tactics and the design of warships. These results are set forth in great detail in the current issue *of “Engineering,”'and- from our contem,Mwary we quote sonic of the mast important points. The four vessels are third-class cruisers, exactly similar in design, having a length of .’l6oft and a 'displhcemcnt of 3000 tons at ’a draft of t-Ift Gin. The Parsons turbine ship, the Amethyst, wae; built, al Elswick. Two of the others were constructed by Camtnel, Laird, and Co., a-nd a fourth by the l‘ahne.rs Coinpaay. Ail cf Ihiun have “express” watei'-ttlbe boilers, differing in type, but of t lie same stea-ming capacity Tlie cruisers were designed to give a speed of 2IJ kne-ts with 90(F) i.h.p. The trials of the ships with reciprocating engine prove, says “Engineering,” th-.tt the utmost that could be dene with any degree of reliability was 22.34 knots; the Amethyst, for the same boiler power, eisclv steamed at 23.63 knots—an increase in speed of 1.29 miles per hour. But when it is noted that the gain was realised with easier steaming of the lipilers, with the same we.vjht of machinery, with no vibration of the ship —which enormously assists towards accuracy of gun fire- and with quite 10 (kt cent, less coal |>er hour, and a correspondingly greater radius of action, the superiority of the turbine will at once be appreciated. The absence of reriproeating parts reduces possibilities of wear and tear. The height required for the turbine machimny is 20sn less, so that it can be more easily “housed” under a protective deck or under the waterline. The air pressure in the stokehold was tin less than in the other ships, so tihat there was less stress on the boilers. The manoeuvring capabilities of the turbine cruiser proved quite as satisfactory as of the reciprocating-engined ships. The time required for stopping from full speed ahead cr fcr starting from dead stop ranged from "A-sec. to 20sec., and ouly a few minutes was required to increase the ship’s speed from ten knots to 22 or 23 knots, so that the tactical advantage of the turbine need not be doubted. Eeoiicmy is the one great element, proved by the exhotrstive and very carefully conducted trials of alt four ships. At low power for ten knots' speed the water oc-nsumption was about 20 per cent, higher than in the reciprocating engine ship. This excess wilt be very materially reduced when the exhaust steam from the auxill.try ergitteis on board the Amethyst is passed irrtt> tire low-pressure turbine receiver instead of into the condenser—a practice carried out in the other ships. At 14 knots the conditions are, so far as economy is concerned, more eqnrtl, ■ but when the speed was increased to IS knots it was found that the-'- consumption on board the Amethyst was something like 20 per eent. less, at. 28 -knots it was nearly 30 per cent, less; raid at the higher speed the improvement was still greater. Tlie influence of this economy < n the radius of action is very nsi-rked; for instance, Ute turbine-propc 'led slvip could, with leer 750 tons of -coal on Isuird, steam 3160 sea miles at 20 knots, las compared with 2140 miles by tJi® cruisers fitted with the ordinary ■ machinery. ’