Here and There.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXIII, Issue XVII, 22 October 1904, Page 13

Here and There.

“Have a care, madam,” said Mr, Meeker, summoning up a little courage. “The worm will turn!” “Did you ever know the worn to hurt anybody when it turned?” calmly asked his wife. The following was copied from a placard posted on a building: “Notice. —Tenants should be careful not to throw cigars or lighted matches about. Otherwise they may set fire to to the building and oblige John Blazer, proprietor.” The following applications for letters patent, with provisional specifications, have been accepted: Harold Martin and A. C. Dennes, of Auckland, means for use in automatically supplying needles to gramaphone sound boxes; Donald William Bodie, of Manurewa, an improved clip for holding papers and the like; Mi.-. Emily Schulze, of Auckland, an improved medical appliance; Richard Neville Reid Lindsay, of Auckland, an improved appliance for use in dehorning cattle, and for other analagous operations. Richard Cosslett, of Ponsonby, Auckland, improvements in twist-mould-ing machines. ‘■'Some people,” sniffed the passenger who wanted the seat upon which a tired man had put his feet—“some people think they’ve bought the railway when they’ve took a ticket for a couple of miles’ run.” “Referrin' to me?” said the tired man aggressively. "No ; to your vast belongin's!” said the other, glancing with scorn at the intruding boots. “Put my feet where I like!” said the tired one. "Put ’em on the rack, if I want to!” It was the opportunity for a master Stroke of sarcasm. “You'll be fined if you do,” said the objector; “that rack’s for small articles only!” The secretary and treasurer of the Auckland Harbour Board (Mr J. M. Brigham) laid before the Board last week a statement of the finances for the past quarter, and comparative statements of the finances of the last year. The income showed an increase of £1364 on the same quarter last year, and of £4863 for the three-quarters of this year on the corresponding period of last year, when the income was £47,375. The eacretary stated that the average increase for the past four oi - five years was £5OOO a year, but the increase this year seemed likely to be about £6OOO. The chairman (Mr J. T. Julian) said that the Board had every reason to feel pleased at the continued prosperity. A good many people are apt to have business which calls them into small towns and places where the bath is an almost unknown article. In this extremity there is a novel arrangement invented, by an Austrian, which is a sack-shaped bath. This “tub” can be made of rubber or any other flexible waterpooof material, and when collapsed can be folded small enough for storage in a trunk or portmanteau.

To put it into use, it is opened and spread out on the floor, and the water is poured in. Then the bather steps into tho centre, pulls up the sack, and closes its mouth around his neck. By stooping and assuming various postures he is enabled to bathe all parts of his body, and, if he so desires, having drained off the first water, the sack can be refilled to a point which will enable the bather, by assuming a stooping posture suddenly, to secure a thorough rinsing by the rise and fall of the water. The device might also be used by camping parties and for household use where the luxuries of a permanent bath are unknown.

“How do you diagnose pain?” was one of the questions put by my examiners tho year 1 received my diploma,” said a young dentist “I was rather puzzled at tho time, but I have since learned that the query was a perfectly natural one. The idea is to differentiate between real pain and assumed pain. There arc some people so stoical while in the operating-chair that not a sound escapes them, not even

the suspicion of a grunt, though they may lie suffering severely. On the other hand, there are people, men and women alike, who try to give the impression that every touch of an instrument is torture.

“But there are always physical signs by which we can distinguish between the real and the assumed suffering. Beads of perspiration on the forehead is one, and when the pain is not so severe, but still keen enough to be felt, there is an involuntary twitching of the muscles of the eyelid. Then we know it is the. real thing, and act accordingly. Why, I have even known women pretend to faint and carry the fraud through when they were not suffering the slightest pain.” Behold the seven lies of man Ami tell his age by that: As soon as he can lisp, he says, "It must have been the cat!” Next, when the cricket team begins To make its thrilling score: His well-loved grandmamma falls dead A dozen times or more. Third, like a furnace hoes lie sigh) Of course, we know the gist: He tells the maiden fair she is The first he ever kissed. Fourth age, he comes home in the morn, And gladness tills ills cup: Tho Good Samaritan has been With sick friends sitting up. Fifth, to the study he repairs Ills heir to interview. And says, “My son, I'd have you know This hurts me more than you!’’ Ho next has leisure on his hands, And fills a tin with bait; lie hooks a minnow, then lie swears Ten pounds to be its weight. Last age. when lean and slippered grown, He finds his greatest joy In telling what perfection ruled The days he was a boy. An article in “Pearson's Magazine” by Dr. C. Libertacrio gives some account of Cavalierc Pino's wonderful invention for looking into the depths of the ocean, the Hydroscope, which has been used in the endeavours at Vigo to salvage the Spanish treasure ships which have been sunk there for so many years. It consists of a long tube fitted with various optical instruments at the end. Tho secret of the instrument lies within—the mechanism that gives it power to reflect objects lying practically any depth in the water. When the instrument is fitted to a ship an image of the water and the things therein beneath the ship in their natural forms and colours is thrown on to a screen on deck, so that any number of people can see what is going on in the water beneath at one time. The instrument can be so adjusted that it will reflect not only objects lying beneath it, but those around and above, thus enabling a captain to keep an eye on the keel of his ship or to examine the keel in ease of accident while steaming at full-speed. With the hydroscope’s help salvage companies can locate sunken ships; explorers map the land beneath the waves; cable companies see where then - cables are lying; commanders of warships note the approach of the submarine or torpedo; and fishermen locate the best fishingground.

One of the Orient-Pacific mail steamers was leaving Plymouth for Australia, and the baggage officer, finding a brown tin box witli neither name nor destination attached, had it placed in the hold, with the usual blessing on the carelessness of the person owning it. Later a buxom Irish lass inquired for her box.

“Shure,” she said, “an it’s a brown tin box, and it. has me name, ‘Bridget Murphy,’ painted on it in big white letters.”

The baggage officer assured her that there was nothing like it on board. But Bridget insisted on a search, and soon her eye fell on the brown box. “That's mo box ye have now,” she said.

“But it hasn’t any name in white letters on it!” protested the officer. “Shure, an’ it has!” she replied. And, diving into her pocket, she drew out a bunch of keys, unlocked the box, turned back the lid, and triumphantly exclaimed: “See! And isn’t me name there in

big enough letters for ye?” And there, sure enough, painted on th* inner side of the lid, were the words. “Bridget Murphy, passenger to Sydne-*. Wanted on ttie voyage,” on seeing which the baggage master, who was also Irish, threw his hat on the deck.

“Och, me counthree!” he cried and a salt tear stole down his cheek.

News has been received In Sydney that the Marquis of Anglesey will visit Australia and New Zealand during the summer. The Marquis will be remembered as the eccentric peer who, whilst in the receipt of nearly a quarter of a million per annum, went bankrupt at the beginning of the present year. The maintenance of a theatrical company (of which he was the leading member) and the purchase of a wardrobe that would clothe an army were some of his minor extravagances. The estate is being administered by the creditors until they are paid. The Marquis is the fifth of bis line. lie was formerly a lieu, tenant in the Second Volunteer Battalion Royal Welsh Fusiliers. He was born in 1875, and succeeded to the title in 1898. The same year he married his cousin, Lilian Florence Maud, daughter of Sir George Chetwynd, Bt., and of the Marchioness of Hastings. Proceedings were taken to annul the marriage, but these were eventually withdrawn.

A New York trade organ protests that the artistic work of tailors gets no “show” comparable with that accorded the “con feet ions” of dressmakers in popular fiction. Tho reason, doubtless, is that in their case “summa ars est eelare artem,” whereas in the cases of their sister clothiers, to be remarked is of the essence of success. It was different, of course, in the days before “Pelham” made black the only wear. What with bottle-green eoats and brass buttons, and wonderful waistcoats of fantastic patterns, it was always possible to maintain that the tailor made the man, whether he made him well or badly. Nowadays wo all dress so much alike that it is difficult to distinguish between one well-dressed man's clothes and another’s, except by the employment of such technical terms as the “Tailor and Cutter” uses when it publishes its annual review of the Royal Academy portraits. Perhaps Mr Rudyard Kipling, who revels in the technical terms of all industries in turn, might see what he could do for this particular industry, if proper representations wore made to him. Failing that, we can only suggest that the remedy is in the hands of those who complain of the neglect. There is paper, there is ink, and there are tailors. What more is wanted for the composition of a high-class sartorial novel';

Menservants (writes “A Society Butterfly” in “M.A.P.”) are usually considered as an appanage of rank and fashion, but, of late, a decided fancy has been shown for tho pretty parlourmaid. Among rich and smart people who keep parlourmaids may be mentioned Lady Ela. Russell, the wealthy unraairied sister of the Duke of Bedford; Sir Richard and Lady Cynthia Graham of Netherby; Lord and Lady Robert Cavil, Lady Katharine Coke—an attendant on Royalty; Sn-William audLady Suffolkcs,and Mr and Mrs George Faber, who have a handsome house in Grosvenor Square. King Edward and Queen Alexandra, often play the part of pioneers, and the appearance of parlourmaids in the tearoom at Buckingham Palace, after one of the evening Courts, certainly gave an impetus in favour of these neat-handed Phyllises. Parlourmaids are given a livery which often consists of a black gown, with a white cap and a white frilled apron. Gowns of grey, red, or violet are sometimes provided. Their wage* ore from £3O to £4O. They are usually addressed bv their surnames.

Questions have come to hand as 10 menservants, ami as to the way in which him as “Monsieur Jules,” etc. Housestewards, grooms of the chambers, bill ■ levs, and valets, nre all out of livery. They are all addressed by their surnames—“ Smith" or “Parsons"—and are spoken to and of by the under-servants as “Mr Smith” or “Mr Parsons.” And their employ rs, when speaking of them to an underservant, would use the pi’cli* “Mr.” If a valet happens to bo a foreigner, he would be addressee! by his Christian name, “Jules" or “Pierre,” and the underlings would speak to and of him ns “Monsier Jules.” etc. HotlsCstewards, butlers, and vnlets, cxpecil

high wages, but no allowance for their clothes. A valet, however, receives his “gentleman’s” east-off wardrobe as an authorised perquisite. Grooms of the chambers receive a sum of money for clothes in addition to their wages. In Smart houses menservants are expected, if they are of British extraction, to be clean shaven. Foreigners, however, are less amenable to this regulation. Thus Mr Alfred de Rothschild’s servant- often appear with moustaches.

Tn a recent number of ‘•Chamber.-’ Journal” it was stated that the two buttons on the back of men’s waisted coats were originally used as a support for the sword-belt. A correspondent writes to the last ‘’Chambers’ Journal” that he has always heard that the original reason lor having two buttons was that in the olden days dandies wore such long tails to their eoats that it was necessary on a muddy day to turn them up, and loop them on to the two buttons. Buttons on the small of the back would be of little use for supporting a sword-belt. Other survivals are interesting; for instance, the belt round a groom’s waist was, in the days of the pillion, a necessity, as the lady held on by same. The ribbon round a man’s bowler hat is a reminiscence of a time when hats were made in a simple way. A piece of cloth was cut into a circle, and a smaller circle drawn on it, in which sundry holes were cut or tapeloops sewn; :> cord with tassels or a common string was passed through the loop or holes, and then tied to lit the owner’s head. Of course once tied, the bat fitted without further tying and untying. The Roman Catholic clerical hat still shows the cord and tassels. 'The three lines on the back of gloves are a reminiscence of the old steel gauntlet. Perhaps the most extraordinary survival of all is our episcopal mitre, which in various shapes and forms is worn by Anglican as well as by Roman and Greek Catholic bishops. The highpriest of the fish-god Dagon, amongst the ancient Philistines, wore a mitre shaped like a fish-head. The Grand Lama of ’Tibet wears a kind of mitre; so does the Emperor of China, when he assumes his priestly robes and blesses the nation. The Jewish mitre was tur-ban-shaped, with a band round the bead.

There are a few letters in the excellent biography of “Rossetti,” by Mr E. F. Benson, which exhibit the poet in a light in which he is never considered by the public. It is difficult, for instance, to imagine the author of “The Blessed Damozel” throwing off the following breezy smartnesses: "Have you Been anything of W. B. Scott’s volume! 1 may be able to send it you sooner or later, if you like. The title-page has a vignette with the words, ‘Poems by a Painter,’ printed very gothieally indeed. A copy being eent to old Carlyle, he did not read any of the poems, but read the title. ‘Poems by a Printer.’ He wrote off’ at once to Hie imaginary printer to fell him to stick to his types and give up his metaphors. Woollier saw the book lying at Carlyle's, heard the story, and told him of his mistake, at which he had the decency to seem a little annoyed, as he knows Scott, and esteems him and his family. Now that we are allied with Turkey, we might think seriously of the bastinado for that old man. on such occasions as the above.” “Might not Tuper say truly, ‘Let not Man. fattening, leave his drcsstrousers too long unworn, lest a worst thing come upto him?” “I’ve been greatly' interested in ‘Wuthering Heights,’ the first novel I’ve read for an age, and the best (as regards power and sound style) for two ages, except ‘Sidmiia.’ But it is a fiend of a book — an incredible monster, combining all the stronger female tendencies from Mrs Browning to Mrs Brownrigg. The action is laid in hell -only it seems places and people have English names there.” Mr Clement Wragge has contributed to an advertising pamphlet a most interesting paper on the intricacies of the weather. .Mr Wragge, as most people know, has a theory that good sea«ons and had seasons, rain and droughts, are dependent upon the changing moods of the sun, and that these moods follow vine another in regular cycles that can be predicted with some degree <if certainty. “Sun-spots,” he explains, “are gigant ie hurricanes piercing ami tearing »nd ripping through the sun’s three main atmospheres with an energy of which

the human mind cannot form the faintest conception.” These hurricanes, according to Mr Wragge, govern the weather on the earth and enable the scientist. who has studied their recurrence to prediet the nature of the seasons for several years ahead. For the last six years the sun has been in one of its quiet moods, and has not been sending off as much heat and energy as usual. It is now returning to a period of activity when we may expect a greater rainfall and better crops. “You will reaeh the crest of the wave about December, 1904,” Mr Wragge advises the farmers; "but, good seasons will probably embrace 1906 and part of 1907. Then, if you are wise, you will be prepared to see the seasons gradually grow drier with the disappearanee of the sun-spots.” “At last,” lie adds, as a special warning to Australians, “within 1912-13 you will probably reaeh the climax in another drought, but not so severe as (he last one.” Mr Wragge expects his prophecies to be ridiculed, hut he stakes his whole reputation as a scientist upon the weather of the next few years.

The great risk of serious accident, which is involved through girls being permitted to wear their hair hanging down while engaged working at machines hi clothing and boot factories, and near other machinery in motion, lias caused the Department of Labour and Industry in New South Wales to fake action against the proprietors of certain factories where it was found that the necessary guarding and fencing in connection with the machinery had not ben properly maintained. The Clerk-in-Cliarge of the department is desirous that the proprietors of all such factories shall make if compulsory that the females working at or near these machines shall wear their hair up, and thus minimise the risk of such a serious accident as sealping, two instances of which have so recently occurred in adjoining States. In future, when the inspectors find the girls working with their hair hanging down, they will take immediate action, where all the fencing and guarding of machinery is not properly maintained, or where any other breach of the Factories and Shops Act is committed. Some factories, it may be mentioned, have succeeded in compelling the females to wear their hair up while at work.

The following parody of a well known JMiem is lulled -XI, 24.” and appeared first in "The Hastings (England) Observer;”— 'rill- shades of niglil wore falling fast As through the quiet village passed A "Panhard” ear of costly price, Bearing a board in jilalu device, XL24! The eliaffeur was sad: he wore a scowl. He also wore goggles, and looked like «a owl; And with a loud “pip! pip!" he cleared AB children who in the road careered. On sped his motor, through the waning light The acetylene lamps flashed dear and bright; And as he bumped o’er heaps of stone, There from his lips escaped a groan. X 1.24! “Try not the road!” a policeman said. "For there in loose patches ston:■<» ale shed, They hack them up from day to day, Ami no steam roller Tolls’ that wiiy.” XL24! "Oh, stop!” the maiden said, "and rest, For me ami for the ear it’s best; . My hairpins are all shaking out. That chaffeur’s deaf without a doubt.” XL24! “Beware in case you lose a nut! Beware, our tyres will lie all cut!” Alas! the fair motorist spoke no more, For the axle broke here with a roar! And when next day. ns Town Hall bent, The pious and upright Councillors went, ITil’.reillng the ratepayers’ repeated pravei\ A voice cried through the petrolled air. X 1.24! The clmlTeur. by a road man found, Half buried in the stones around. Trying to colled his vacant dates Ami wondering why we pay high rates. X 1.24! There in the morning light lie lay. And The first words ho tried to say Caine out in the ‘Tlhserver” and “Star,” About “’e duiuio really where ’e are!” XL24! A novel sale by auct ion took place in the village of Chedzoy (formerly called Chedsea), near Bridgwater, England, recently. It was the sale of a piece of arable land known as "Church Acre,” bequeathed to the parish many years

ago, “to be sold every twenty-one years, for a lease of twenty-one years, and the proceeds to be expended upon the chureh in suVh a manner as the rector and churchwardens for the time being shall think fit.’’ The curious thing about the sale was that, in accordance with the wish of the donor, the balding was decided by the burning of half-inch of candle, the last bidder, prior io the said candle being consumed, being declared the purchaser. The custom of selling by inch of candle is very old, although it docs not seem to have been very common in England in Pepy’s time. “To our office,” he writes in his “Diary” for November 6th, 1660, “where we met all, for the sale of two ships by an inch of candle (the first time that. 1 ever saw any of this kind), where I observed how they do invite one another, and at last how they all cry, and we have much to do to tell who cry last.” The custom still lingers in certain parts of England, generally where a village owns its “Church Acre,” bequeathed, perhaps, some centuries ago to pay the chureh expenses. Sales of 1 his sort have often been recorded in “Notes and Queries.” There are “Church Acres,” for instance, at Aldermaston, near Reading, and at Corby, near Kettering, and the custom of letting these lands by candle prevailed until at least quite recent years. It died out at Corby in 1890, apparently because the timehonoured candle failed to do its work properly. The flame, it seems, went out unexpectedly just when the bidding was becoming earnest, and as the lot in question had, in consequence, to go at too low a price, Mr “Candle,” auctioneer, was forbidden to appear again. The same custom still prevails in certain parts of France at public auctions of real property, though the procedure is somewhat different. Here, as soon as the bidding is started, a tiny candle is lighted—no bigger than a vesta—and at each bid a new one is lighted. If no fresh bid is made before this one goes out, a second, and on that going out. without a bid, a third candle is lighted. 'The last bidder, when the third eandle is extinguished, is declared to be the purchaser.

Interesting details about "Little Italy,” the part of London where the Italians live, ere given in the annual report, just circulated, of Dr. Newman, medical officer of health of Finsbury. After pointing out that the Italian population of the borough has almost trebled within the last twelve years, but that the aliens of all countries still number only 3 per cent, of the inhabitants of Finsbury, Dr. Newman goes on to state that the Italians are gregarious. This accounts tor two characteristics of their life in Finsbury. They live together in groups and colonies, unaseiniilated with the British population, and they follow each other to England and to Finsbury, joining in family life and the same occupations. The Italian immigrant has many strings to his bow, and when he returns in the autumn to his own country it is with sufficient rash to carry him through the winter. Next spring will see him back again, or he may decide to stop in EJigland for two or three winters, and then retire on the proceeds. In regard to the social character of the Italian residents of the borough as a whole it may

be said generally that they are in some ways su|ierior to a similar class of English persons in the same district. They; take more care of their children as regards cleanliness, feeding, training, clothing, etc., than do their English neighbours. The infant mortality, among Italians in London is much less than among their English neighbours. This may be attributed partly to the personal care of the children themselves and partly to the habits of the parents. The Italians are more sober ami abstemious. There is less alcoholism and less grinding poverty, and so there is less child sickness, for the children are the first to suffer from such conditions. The home conditions, with the exception of overcrowding, are more favourable. The interiors of the rooms and houses occupied by Italians arc fairly, clean, sometimes extremely- so, and the rooms generally have a bright and pleasing appearance. The beds and bed-cloth-ing are almost invariably clean and neat, in contradistinction to the same properties and belongings of the neighbouring English. Outside their own rooms, however, the Italians are. not so elean and tidy.

Some advice to the short-story writer — which has, no doubt. a pinch of satire in it—is given by Mr Leslie Quirk, an American. Plot, from his point of view, is almost the sole thing:— “If you want to write a short story, and doubt -if you have anything worth the telling, go to bed early some night, get up with the sun the next morning, and take a long walk. Now, with the smell of nature in your nostrils, let your imagination run ‘as wild as a spook on a spree.’ Suppose that cloud up there were an airship, with a kidnapper aboard, and suppose the boy who had been stolen were the King of Spain. Can’t you work out the details of what might happen? “Or suppose that girl over there should come to you, silently ami mysteriously, and place a roll of greenbacks in your hand, with the words, ‘To pay for your burial.’ How would it end!

“Or suppose you stumbled over that bush there, ami dropped into a deep hole, where you lay, far below the surface, .listening to the drip! drip! of water near you. And suppose you became thirsty and crawled nearer for a drink, and instead of water found a stream of red blood gurgling among ihe roeks.” This cheerful counsel reminds a writer in “T. P.’s Weekly” of divers unused plots, which well-known writers have sketched and flung from them with what seems like prodigality. Mr Bernard Capes reeled off in a magazine article recently some awesome suggestions, including the “Plot of the Abhorred Couple,” ihe ‘‘Plot of the Fearful Head,” the “Plot of the Phenomenal Calculator and the Quantity Surveyor,” etc. Mr B. Aldrich, in Pinkapog Papers.” gave the following weird outline: “Imagine all human beings swept off the face of the earth, excepting one man. Imagine this roan in some vast city—New York or London. Imagine him on ihe third or fourth day of his solitude sitting in a house and hearing a ring at the door bell.” Some startling ideas for stories from Nathaniel Hawthorne's “Note Books” have been mentioned by Mr Blunder Matthews.

"Souietimes (he wrote) Hawthorne's suggestion is bold enough and alluring, but not to be accomplished without a complicated machinery, which would detract from its directness:—‘The situation of a man in the midst of a crowd, yet as completely in the power of another. life and all, as if they two were in the deepest solitude.’ Sometimes the suggestion is so characteristic, so individual, so llawtho'rnesqiie. that we find ourselves wondering how it was that it did not tempt Hawthorne himself to its ampler unfolding:—‘A person to be writing a tale, and to find that it shapes itself against his intentions; that the characters act otherwise than he thought; that uuforseen events occur; and a catastrophe comes which he strives *n vain to avert. It might shadow forth his own fate —he having made himself one of the personages.’ Or this:—‘Follow out the fantasy of a man taking his life by instalments, instead of at one payment—-say 10 years of life alternately with 10 years of suspended animation.’ ”

Rosalia Montmasson, tire companion of Crispi in his early wanderings, has just died in Rome at the age ot eighty-one. She had a remarkable career. Her father was a sexton, and the only education she received was in the duties of a household. When thirty-nine years of age, while employed in laundry work in the prison of Palazzo Madama, Turin, she met among the political prisoners the man who was to be several times Prime Minister of Italy, Francesco Crispi. A strong affection sprang up between them, and when Crispi was released and Went into exile Rosalia followed him, first to Genoa, and then to Malta. It was in Malta, while struggling with poverty, that Crispi resolved to legalise their union, and a Jesuit priest performed the ceremony.

flailed by his fellow-exiles to London, Crispi was accompanied by his wife, who, gifted with great talent, acted as intermediary between the Italian refugees and Mazzini.

In Garibaldi’s daring feat, which made Sicily and the whole of the south part of the new Italy, Rosalia was still with Crispi. She was present at all the actions fought, and at the end of the campaign was decorated with a diamond star.

Then began Crispi’s rapid ascent, but his faithful companion, who had bravelyfaced poverty and danger, proved unequal to the new prosperity. She became strange in her ways, developed a taste for costly 7, ridiculous dresses, and began to show an inordinate love for animals.

Dozens of dogs, cats, birds, and animals of all kinds invaded the apartments of the no-longer happy pair, and it is said that Crispi’s slumbers were often disturbed by the colony of white mice Rosalia would keep. One day the crisis came. Returning home after delivering a. great speech at the Chamber, Crispi found six new green dresses lying about the rooms, and dragging them about were the numerous pets of Rosalia. He left the house, never to return.

Crispi married again in 1870, and was charged with bigamy, but the Courts held that his first marriage was not valid. He allowed Rosalia an annuity, and successive Governments helped her up to the time of her death.

It is a terrible indictment which Dr Arabella Kenealy brings, in the “Nineteenth Century," against the use of stays. She begins by telling how a number of monkeys were dressed in Vshaped corsets, and in consequence died in misery. She declares that the use of corsets is more universal than ever. She indulges in this epigram, “Dress has been given to woman to conceal her deficiencies, and to this end she employs it, beauty and dress assuming generally an inverse ratio the one to the other.” The practice of tight-lacing, once confined to the upper classes, now permeates the humblest. The thing is becoming a national evil. The blight that falls on many developing girls is the result. She thus describes tho effect on the girl when she rises in the morning:—-“She encases herself in an abnormality of steel and whalebone, compressing vital organs in an unyielding grip. The resulting sense of construction, more irksome, as every woman knows but too well, in the morning, where it does not induce actual nausea, at all events occasions a feeling of pressure destructive of appetite; so that, after a fast of some twelve or fourteen hours, the girl, whose

growing, hungry tissues clamour for fresh supplies, is unable to take the food her system badly needs to start the day upon. Or if she takes it the cramped organs can but ill assimilate it- But the capacity of the constricted stomach is so encroached upon that it will not without pain or discomfort contain enough material for the needs of nutrition. Consequently only half enough or even less is taken. The abnormal pressure prevents the natural churning movements essential to assimilation. Added to which there is grave interference with nerve and blood supplies.” The storage power of the liver is diminished, the blood currents are impeded and become sluggish, the lungs shrink, and the starved blood cannot nourish the tissues. The abdominal muscles are atrophied, and later in life will probably yield altogether, “the woman becoming the shapeless personage we regard as the norm of middle-age.” “Dyspepsia may fairly be described as the feminine of digestion,” and is another sequel of tight-lacing. The athletic development of the muscles prevalent to-day does not counteract these baneful tendencies. “Even the platform of Woman’s Rights is an object lesson in wasp-waistedness." The writer hopes that women will realise that “the expedient of tight-lacing is in truth the most cruel and absolute destroyer of beauty that could ever have been devised,” and will therefore discontinue it. She lias no mercy for the cry that the stays are not tight. She says:—“That the stays are indeed tight is shown by the fact that although the physique and internal organs expand in every other direction, the waist of adult woman is actually less than that of the girl between ten and twelve. Moreover, it has been found that the waists of young women released from the abnormal bondage of corsets, described as ‘not the least bit tight,’ expand in the course of a few months to the extent of some three to seven inches. The female waist is naturally two inches larger than that of a male of corresponding height and weight. Yet the waist of woman unnaturally compressed is a very great many inches smaller, as we know, than that of her masculine fellow.”

When you drink your next cup of coffee return thanks to Hadji Omar. It was he who discovered the divine berry in 1285, 01!) years ago. He was dying of hunger in the wilderness, when, finding some small round berries, he tried to cat them, but they were bitter. He tried roasting them, and these he finally steeped in some water held in the hollow of his hand, and found the decoction as refreshing as if he had partaken of solid food. He hurried back to Mocha, from which he had been banished, and, inviting tho wise men to partake of his discovery, they were so well pleased with it that they made him a, saint. The story- is told that coffee was introduced into the West Indies in 1723 by Chirac, a French physician, who gave a Norman gentleman by the name of De Clieux, a captain of infantry, on his way to Martinique, a single plant. The voyage was a stormy- one, the vessel was driven out of her course, and drinking water became so scarce tjrat it was distributed in rations. De Clieux, with an affection for his coffee plant, divided his portion of water with it, and succeeded in bringing it. to Martinique, although weak, not in a hopeless condition. There he planted it in his garden, protected it with a fence of thorns, and watched it daily until the end of the year, when he gathered (wo pounds of coffee. which he distributed among the inhabitants of the island to be planted by them.

From Martinique coffee trees in turn were sent to San Domingo, Gaudaloupe, and other neighbouring islands. Hadji Omar’s name should be enrolled among those of the other benefactors of the human race. It should rank beside that of Raleigh, who discovered sublime tobacco, or at any rate introduced it into civilised society. Who discovered chicory is not known, hut he deserves his obscurity.

Mr. Kipling is credited with many obscurities, but he seems at last to have written a poem which positively “no fellow can understand.” It appears in “The Times,” wider the title “Things and the Man,’’ and has as text the passage from Genesis, “and Joseph dreamed a dream and told it to his brethren, and they hated him yet the more." It is the men-

lion of “Joseph** only which causes (he press to tentatively assume that Mr. Chami crlain is probably “The Man.” Hero are the first three stanzas: “Oh jre who hold the written clue To nil save all unwritten tilings. Atid. half a league behind, pursue The accomplished Fact with flouts and flings. Look! To your knee your baby brings The oldest tale since Earth began - The answer to your worrying#: ‘puce on a time there was a man.’ “lie single-handed met and threw Magicians, Armies, Ogres. Klugs, lie lonely ’mid his doubting orew. ’in all the loneliness of wings,’ He fed the flarup, he Ailed ihe springs. He locked the ranks, he launched (he van Straight in the grinning Teeth of Things. Once on a time there was a man. “The peace of shocked Foundations flew Before his ribald questionings. He broke the Oracles in two. And bared the paltry wires and strings, lie headed desert wanderings; He led his soul, his cause, his clan A little from the Ruck of things. Once on a time there was a man.” So profound is ihe mystification caused 1»y this effort that ihe “Westminster Gazette” has tried to illumine matters by an imiration of the verses in which the exCo'onial Secretary is frankly accepted as the subject of the poet’s muse. “Oh ye who hold your cricket, blue Or on the game have written things. Not this time do I you pursue, You flunneled fools, with flouts and flings. Look! Here in print the poet sings The oldest tale since earth began With rhyme and rhythm worrylugs—•Once on a time there was a man.’ “Republican liis darts lie threw Once on a time at Thrones and Kings. He later with his family crew From Birmingham to town took wings. He caucused them, lie pulled the strings. He worked the wires, he launched the va n. And promised all No End of Things— Once ou a time there was a man. “The peace of party wallings flew Before his Irish questionings. He smashed the party straight in two And snapped the party wires and springs. He headed desert wanderings ; Until nt last he got his clan Well sett!ed In the Swim of Things. Once on a time there was a man.” Captain Mark Sykes, in “Dar-ul-Islam” (Home of Islam), gives a specimen of early morning Turkish “conversation.” On the way to llama it was his misfortune to pitch his camp near the residence of the Khanji, whom it is the etiquette of the country for every fellah to disturb at dawn as he brings in his market stuff. This particular Khanji was a heavy sleeper, but even he rouses at* last. Khanji: “Why do you wake the folk, dog of a dogs on?” Fellah: “I wake folk? I wake folk? Have I a voice like an old camel? Have I a ” Voices: “Silence, blight!” “Be quiet, dog!” “Pig! be still!” “A curse on the religion of loud-voiced bellowers!” Fellah (retiring): “May God blast you and your religion and affairs, and the khan and its Khanji, and may his wife. ,” etc., until the indignant fellah’s voice dies down in the distance, and the Khanji, being now aroused, commences rattling the key in the wooden lock that he may open the door. Khanji: “Blast the key and its maker—(rattle, rattle. rattle) —the tooth is broken—(rattle, rattle). Eh, to the right! ()ah! (rattle, rattle, rattle). Now it is nigh—Ya Hah—Eh! Blast this key and its religion, and may Allah (rattle, rattle) blast (rattle, rattle) its (rattle) belief and Alhamdollilah—Laud to the Lord—” (Enter three Cameleers).

First Cameleer: “That’s my corn.” Second Cameleer: “You lie!” Third Cameleer: Silence! It is mine, you thieves twain.”

A Trfaveller: “Ya’oob! For goodness’ sake tell tho Zaptieh to keep those men quiet.”

Ya’oob: “E-eh! () brave! Silence me these cuckolds, that my masters may sleep!” Zaptieh (under a blanket, rattling a Snider): “Curse you, swines of herds! Begone!”

First Muezzin (from neighbouring mosque): “There is no God bul THE God, and Mohammed is tho Prophet of God.” Second Muezzin: “The Prophet of God!”

Third Muezzin: “There is no God, bul THE God.”

, Thenceforward for one hour (ho Muezzins elm nt in splendid tenors, in wheezy wails, in hoars.' croakings, (he truth of Al Islam, and of all noises in a Moslem city it is the most pleasant.

Mrs Besnnt has l>eou expounding to ati apparently mystified “Chronicle** reviewer the theosophical tenets relating to animals and their future. We are told that this latter is not by any means a negligible quantity. It seems that the devotion of the “brute” for his master is really “a form of worship. To the animal, man is a god, his sun, his superior, to whom he pays homage.” This point of view opens upon n vista of rather terrifying responsibility, for as Mrs Besnnt added: ”Hy putting animals to a wrong use, their spiritual evolution can be retarded, certainly. By a wrong use, 1 will instance ratting. Lt is a dis tinct throwback in animal morality to kill except, for food. Broadly speaking, in a wild state they are never guilty of it. Under any conditions, though, the contact with humanity tends to increase consciousness, and thus shorten the intermediate state.”

The enormous area of 3,071,103 acres of Crown land are now open to selection in the colony under the various forms of tenure. Of this great area 910,257 acres are in the Auckland province, comprising 20,086 acres of surveyed rural land in 34 sections, 99,0GG acres (505 sections) of similar land under the Bush and Swamp Lands Act, 224,805 acres of unsurveyed rural land, 3055 acres under lease-in-perDctuity (395 sections), 7 acres of village settlement land (4 sections), 255,949 acres of pastoral land divided into ten rims, ten small grazing runs containing 61,051 acres, and 252,238 acres of the Hauraki Pastoral leasehold. Of the whole area of land open 976,869 is rural land open to purchase on the optional system, 119,738 acres for lease as sma’t grazing runs, 2,554,183 acres lease as pastoral runs, 1625 acres of township and other lands for lease, and in terms of the Lands for Settlement Act< 18.688 acres for lease-in-perpetuity.