The Tiff Matrimonial.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXIII, Issue IX, 27 August 1904, Page 58

The Tiff Matrimonial.

A fellow’s always in the wrong when he quarrels with a woman, and even if he wasn’t at the start he’s sure to be before he gets through. And a man who’s decided to marry can’t be too quick at learning to apologise for things he doesn’t say and to be forgiven for things he didn’t do. When you differ with your wife never try to reason out who’s in the wrong, because you’ll find that after you’ve proved it to her she’ll still have a lot of talk left that she hasn’t used. Of course, it isn’t natural and it isn’t safe for married people —and especially young married people—not to quarrel a little, but you’ll save a heap of trouble if you make it a rule never to refuse a request before breakfast and never to grant one after dinner. I don't know why it is, but most women get up in the morning as cheerful as a breakfast food ad., while a man will snort and paw for trouble the minute his hoofs touch the floor. Then, if you’ll remember that the longer the last word is kept the bitterer it gets and that your wife is bound to have it anyway, you'll cut the rest of your quarrels so short that she’ll never find out just how much meanness there is in you. Be the silent partner at home and the thinking one at the office. Do your loose talking in your sleep. Of course, if you get a woman who’s really fond of quarrelling there isn’t any special use in keeping still, because she’ll holler if you talk back and yell if you don't. The best that you can do is to pretend that you’ve got a chronic ease of earache, and keep your ears stuffed with cotton. Then, like as not, she’ll buy one of those things that you hold in

your mouth so that you can hear through your teeth. —By the author of “Letters of a Self-made Merchant to HiSon.” Sentence Sermons. To restrain prayer is to retain care. Oppressing truth never suppresses it. A little faith is worth a lot of feel ing. There is no sacrament without sei vice. Safe sins are the most dangerous ones. Love is the great power that levels up. Patience is the perfume of crushed joys. Legislation cannot take the place ot love. He cannot be sovereign who will not serve. There can be no education without in spiration. Light is the only protection against darkness. R-al religion is the only remedy for irreligion Burning the ledgers will not balance the books. A man does not have to be gullible to be gentle. Half of what we call difficulty is only danger. A sham religion is the costliest thing a man can get. The best cure for your sorrow is care for another’s. Better fail trying to do right than succeed in doing wrong. There is no merit in the wait-till-I-get-a-chance forgiveness. No day is more dangerous than the one that dawns without its duty.