Here and There.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXIII, Issue VI, 6 August 1904, Page 13

Here and There.

*The most magnificent piece of architecture in the world is the Taj Mahal, in Agra, India. It is octagonal in form, of pure white marble, inlaid with every sort of precious stone. The work took 22,000 men 20 years to complete, and though there were numerous gifts and the labour was free, the cost was £3,200,000.

“This manuscript,” remarked the mid-dle-aged, long-haired gentleman as he took a seat in the editorial sanctum, and produced a bulky packet from his pocket, “this manuscript is an inquiry regarding the whereabouts of the long lost ten tribes of Israel.”

‘Tost ten tribes?” replied the editor, briskly. “Our charge for ‘lost and found’ notices is a shilling a line. Apply at the publishing office, please.”

The horse dealer is said to be a man of great natural shrewdness, but wanting in a sense of honour or probity—as far as transactions over horses are concerned. You might buy a cow from him, for example, and trust to getting a fair deal. In this particular case there was a dispute with a customer which the dealer carried into court. “Is it not a fact,” asked the solicitor for the plaintiff, “that my client sold you a pair of carriage horses’” “No, it is not,” said the defendant emphatically. “The facts are that I bought and paid for a pair of carriage horses, but what lie sold me was a pair of cart horses. Do you see the difference?” The Court did, anyway.

Mr W. H. Phillips, late Mayor of Waihi, in company with a few friends had a most exciting experience when returning from a fishing expedition to Whale Island the other day. They were coming in a 5-ton yacht from Tauranga with a haul of some 300 schnapper. The yacht ran into a strong ebb tide. With a heavy sea running, little or no headway could be made, and for two hours the crew battled against sea and tide, and were in danger of getting into the breakers. A kcdge anchor .was got out, but was lost, wnen another was tried with better results. After considerable difficulty the party got clear of danger, but it is considered they had a narrow escape. —(Waihi correspondent.)

On a rainy day people carrying umbrellas in front of them frequently collide .with each other, but now this annoyance is to be avoided. Pedestrians picking their way through the rain are relieved of this bother and care by the use of an umbrella which is provided with a window, through which the pedestrian may pick his way iu absolute freedom from accidents of this character. The invention consists of a circular frame of metal sewed into the centre of one of the panels of the umbrella, and this holds a sheet of celluloid or other transparent material, through which the pedestrian can have a constant view of the path in front of him.

The indefatigable Felix Tanner is engaged in building another “ark” at Wellington. The new craft will measure 25ft long, 6ft in breadth, and oft depth of hold. The barrel, which is a prominent feature of the “ark,” will measure 12ft long, 6ft 6in broad, and sft deep. The vessel will carry one mast, and will be cutter-rigged. The craft will weigh about 18ewt. While pine will be Used for the planking, and the vessel, Mr fiuiwr says, will be a vast improvement on all previous “arks.” The new boat will be ready

for launching in abont a month, and will make a trial run from Wellington to Wanganui and back. It will then be exhibited at Wellington, after which Mr Tanner proposes to visit in turn Hokitika, West Coast ports, back en route to Nelson, Lyttelton, Drtnedin, Auckland, "'Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide, Albany, Zanzibar, Suez, Gibraltar, London, thence round the British Isles to the TJ.SiA.; and back to New Zealand. Mr Tanner paid a visit recently to the scene of the stranding of his last “ark." which he set fire to, as a safeguard to fneveut its being carried, to aga.

One of the queerest notices of marriages I have ever received,” says a Yorkshire parson, “was the following, which came from one of my parishioners: “ ‘This is to give you notis that I and Miss Jemima Arabela B is coming to your church on Saturday afternoon nex, to undergo the operation of matrimony at your hands. Pleas be promp, as the cab is hired by the hour.’

“Forewarned is forearmed. I was ‘promp,’ and the ‘operation’ was performed while the cab waited.”

A parish minister, who was getting up a sale of work, sent his man round the parish to deliver circulars regarding the event. Next afternoon he came upon the luckless beadle lying upon the roadside in a state of intoxication, “Dear me, John,” said the minister, in great concern, “how has this eoine about?” “Weel, ye see, sir,” John explained, with some difficulty, “when I gaed to the hooses wi’ thae circulars they insisted on gieiu’ me a dram, and, of course, I eouldna refuse, seein’ it was a’ for the benefit o’ the bazaar.” “But surely,” said the minister, “there were some total abstainers in the parish?” “Oh, ay,” replied the beadle, “but I sent them theirs by post.”

Mark Twain and W. D. Howells were one day lunching in a cafe. Two overdressed young men entered, and the first said in a loud voice:

“Waiter, bring me some bisque of lobster, a bottle of white wine, and a chop. Just mention my name to the cook, too, so that everything will be done to my liking.” The second young man said: “Bring me some sole with peas, and tell the cook who it’s for.”

Mr Twain gave his order a moment later. He said, with a wink at his com-

panion : “Bring me a half-dozen oysters, and mention my name to each of them.’’

The following little story of the late Mr Herbert Spencer illustrates his love for children. One day a little boy paid a visit to the great philosopher’s library. After a long and patient perusal of the titles of the works that lined the shelves, the- little chap walked up to Spencer, and asked in a grieved sort of way: “Haven’t you got ‘Jack the Giant Killer’’” The philosopher regretted to say that in all his immense library he had not a copy. The child looked at him in a pitying way. and silently left the room. The next morning he walked in with a couple of pennies clasped tightly in his chubby fist, and laying them down, told the philosopher “that he could now buy a ’Jack the Giant Killer’ of his own.”

Bulwer Lytton, Disraeli, and Macaulay were politicians first, authors incidentally. Nowadays the tables are turned, and the literary men are making letters a road to politics. Sir A. Conan Doyle has already contested Edinburgh, and will be seen again nt the coining election. Mr Rider Haggard is another Unionist who will possibly be returned for one division of Norfolk. Sir Gilbert Parker is in Parliament. Mr Anthony Hope has lost one election but may contest another. Mr Stanley Weyman has entered the arena as a supporter of Air Chamberlain: but Mr A. E. W. Mason, of “FontFeathers” fame, has joined the opposite camp, and has been adopted as Liberal candidate for a Midland constituency.

A true story of Herbert Spencer—none the worse, perhaps, for being a little belated. He once won a curious wager. He was staying for a fishing holiday in the house of Sir Francis Powell, the president of the Scottish Academy, and, while angling for trout, he happened to drop his eye-glasses into a deep pool of the river. In the evening he, related his misadventure to his host and the guests, and said that be was prepared to bet that he would recover the pince-nez from the bottom of the pool. His friends declared that this was an impossible feat, but Herbert Spencer still offered to make the bet. His challenge was nccepted by one of the visitors. Upon the following evening

Spencer returned to the house with the missing eye-glasses. He had fastened a strong magnet on the end of his fishiugline, and fished for the glasses until it came into contact with their steel rims.

The Auckland Scenery Conservation week by the committee, ’states that in terday by the committee, states that in the past year there was a considerable increase in membership nnd in revenue. The death of Mr W. Berry is recorded with regret. Thanks are accorded to the Cornwall Park Trust, Captain McQueen, Mrs Pierce and the Avoca School Committee for donations of trees and bulbs, and the Epsom Road Board for turf. These, with a number of trees purchased, were distributed to schools and public bodies anxious to improve their grounds. Considerable improvements have been made in the Parnell public school by the Board, School Committee and the society. The report records the part the society took in the Domain discussion, and regrets the failure to secure removal of the buildings in the Domain. The society recommended numerous places to the Scenery Preservation Commissioners for reserve, and was promised every consideration; and the representations of the society to the Government against the destruction of pohutnkawa for railway sleepers. The Survey Office has also decided to save the native bush on coastal cliffs, etc., where possible. The City Council is being approached to have a sundial erected iu Albert Park. The society is moving iu the direction of “having established a strong State Forestry Department.” The improvement of the city parks and reserves is recorded as now occupying the attention of the City Council.

It must be gratifying to all that substantial progress is being made with the great Indian memorial to Queen Victoria at Calcutta (says a Home paper). It is only three years since the project was raised, when it was then decided it should take the shape of a great marble hall, to be known as the Victoria Hall, and be erected on the Calcutta Maidun. It is to serve primarily as a monument to the great Empress Queen, and in the second place as a national gallery and Valhalla for the Indian Empire. It is being built with the subscriptions of the Princes and the people, the European and the native communities of India, and the money began at once to pour in. Within the space of three months thirtyfour lakhs of rupees (£227,000) were raised, and the fund now exceeds £350,000. So munificent were the offers of some of the Indian Princes—the Maharaja of Kashmir, for instance, offered 15 lakhs, the Maharaja of Gwalior 10, and the Maharaja of Jaipur five—that the Viceroy was compelled to suggest a curtailment, and fixed the limit at one lakh. The Victoria Hall is estimated to cost £300,000, and will be of pure white marble, in the Italian Renaissance style of architecture. It will stand upon a terrace, six or seven feet high, extending in some forty feet in width all round the building, and will face northwards across the parade ground. The great dome rising into the

air to a height of IGOlt, and surmounted by a statue of Victory, will cover the Central Hall, in which will be placed a marble statue representing the Queen in her youth. Que of the chief features of the Memorial is the Hall of Princes, which will be set apart for the contributions and collections of the Indian chiefs, and there will also be a Durbar Hall, to be used for investitures und public meetings.

A German naturalist, M. Werner, of Vienna, has recently reported the result of observations that he has been making for some time ou the senses of interior vertebrates.

On certain points the conclusions of M. Werner are very surprising, and iu all they are worthy of notice. M, Werner has observed 136 individuals, of which one-third were at liberty. and he took all possible precautions not to let the creatures know they were watched.

One general fact is evident, that reptiles and amphibians are strongly attracted by water. They go straight for it, even when they are al a distance so great that they could not divine its presence by any of the senses known to us. It seems really that a sense of whicli we have no knowledge informs them of the direction in which waler may be found.

Alligators and crocodiles cannot distinguish a man at distances of more than six times their length, according to Al. Werner.

In the water, fishes see only at ycry close range —about half their own length. This will seem, perhaps, unlikely io anglers, although some of them can cite proofs.

Snakes seem to have a very mediocre sense of sight. The Loa, for instance, does not see at more than a quarter ora third of its own length: different species are limited to one-fifth or oneeighth of their length.

Isn’t it strange that people should go to New York to rest up? You know what Broadway and Fifth Avenue are’ from Thirtieth to Thirty-fifth street —the densest, noisiest place in the world. Yet I know a prominent Pittsburg business man. who, when he gets tired, slams down his roll-top desk, seizes his case and takes the train East. In New York he patronises a well-known hotel, much favoured by Pittsburgers, asks for a room on the twelfth floor, and if ho gets it, or one on the floor either above or below, he is happy. Twelve floors up he is removed from the noise of the busy pavement below. So far as quietude is concerned he might as well be in a country village. In the morning the bright sunshine steals in at his window, which overlooks the river and the docks below. At night the view is one of enchantment, watching the vessels moving to and fro with their myriad of lights. And, although there is gaiety below in a dozen corners of that self-same hotel, no sound of it over penetrates to his quarters. But this is only one of the many possibilities of a very wonderful town. —“Pittsburg Dispatch.”

We were levers when first we incut, my Or ever the Sphinx wax planned. r An«i 1 kissed the prints of your sandalled In the soft Sabaran sand. 3?ou wore a gown that was not so slow And 1 wore a cheerful smile, In the lonesome land of the Long Ago. On a neck of the nervous Nile. Jon were a maiden of Rome, my pet, Toga'd and trim and tail, And the fili t of your fan I remember yet Ar my legion marched for -Gaul. Rut we stoically stayed our trembling tears— That day in the brave year One— Fur we knew that our love could vanquish years j. And make a century run. In Ethelbert's time we sought, my dear, A bower of bitumen shade (Where the beasts and the birds did not look queer To a tapestry man and maid. And we saw no cloud in the saffron sky Ah you gave me a four leaved rose. But love leaped high ns wo said good bye For your pa wore pointed tors. Once more, on the age-old feast of birds, I thrill with the same sweet fears. Do I ask too much if I crave kind words But once in a thousand years? It is not my fault in the pitiless plan Of the centuries whir and whirl, M I am only a Remington man .While you are a Gibson girl. “Reincarnation.” by Herman Knickerbocker Vie 10, in the N.Y. “Bookman.” There was a boy named Grumble Tone, who ran away to sea. “I'm sick of things on land,’’ he said, “as Hick as I ran be. A life upon the bounding wave is just the life for uie!” But the seething ocean billows failed to stimulate his mirth, For he did not like the vess 1 or the dizzy, rolling berth, And he thought the sea was almost as unpleasant as the earl li. Me wandered into foreign lands, he saw each wondrous sight, But nothing that he heard or saw seemed just exactly right, Am! so he journeyed on and on, still seeking for delight. He talked with kings and ladies grand; he dined in courts, ’ they say. But always found the people dull and i longed to get away, To search for that mysterious land where he should want to stay. t lie wandered over all the world, his hair grew white as snow; He reached that final bourn at last where all of us must go, But never found the land ho sought; the reason would you know? <The reason was that north or south, where'er his steps were bent, On land or sea, in court or hall, he found .but discontent, - For he took his disposition with him, everywhere he went. ELLA WHEELER WILCOX. In the New Yor “American.” Here is a quaint zoological rhyme from hn English journel:— No sweeter girl “ewe” ever “gnu” Than Betty “Marten’s"’ daughter Sue. With “sable hare,” small “tapir” waist, And lips you'd “gopher” miles to taste; Bright “himh”-ent eyes, like tin* “gazelle.” “Sheep” pertly brought to “bear” so well; •‘Ape” pretty lass, it was avowed, Of whom her “marmot” to be proud. “Deer” girl! I loved her as my life, And vowed to “heifer"’ for my wife. Alas’ a sailor on the sly, Had east on her his “wether"* eye. He said iny love for her was bosh, And iny affection I “musquash.” He’d “dog” her footsteps everywhere •“Antenter” in the easy chair; J Ic'd “setter” round, this sailor chap, And “pointer” out upon the map Where once a pirate cruiser “boar” Mini captive to a foreign shore. The cruel captain far outdid The “yaks” and crimes of Robert “Kid.” lie oft would “whale” Jack with the “cat,” And say, “My ‘buck, doe’ you like that? What makes yon ‘stag’ around so. say! The ‘catamounts’ to something, hev?” Then he would “seal” it with an oath, And say, “Yon are a lazy ‘sloth!’ I 11 ntarye you down, my sailor fine. Until for beef nnd ‘porcupine!* ”, And, fairly “horse” with fiendish laughter, Would say, “Henceforth, mind what giraffe’ ter!” In short, the many risks he ran Might well a “llama"’ braver man. Then he was wrecked and •’castor” slidre While feebly clinging to “anon;” “Hyena” cleft among the rocks Mo crept, sans shoos, and minus “ox.” And when he fain would “goat” to b<?d, lie had to “lion” loaves instead. Then Sue would say with troubled face, “How ‘koodoo’ live in such a place?” And straightway into tears would melt. “How ‘badger’ must have felt!” While lie, the brute,- “woodchuck” her chin, - i And say, “‘Ay-ay,’ may lassand grin. • Excuse Uioso “steers” .... It’shver now! There’s naught* like grief the “hart” can “cow.” •’Jackassed” her to be his. and rbe— Rhe gave “Jackail,” and Jilted me. And now, nlas, the little “minx” It bound to him with Hymen s “linx.**

Mr. Lewis Waller is coming out in a new role—that of a racehorse owner. Lilac with green sleeves and white cap are his newly registered racing colours. The famous actor, who has always taken a keen interest in the turf, will doubtless have as big a following of racegoers as he has of playgoers. Among people connected with the stage who own racehorses may be mentioned Mr. “Gaiety” Edwardes, Airs. Langtry (known on the turf as “Mr. Jersey”), and Mr. Sleath Skelton.—Loudon “P.1.P.”

Humboldt raised seeds in a solution of chlorine in six hours, instead of the 30 to 30 hours they would otherwise have required. These seeds may be steeped for 10 hours in ordinary water, and then in a solution of three grammes of chlorine to the litre. After being exposed to the sun foi‘ six hours, they are dried and sown in the usual way. Seed steeped for eight hours in a solution of a gramme of camphor in two litres of water containing a few drops of alcohol ■will produce an excellent effect. It not only hastens the germination, but if the solution is afterwards used for watering the plant, the plant is greatly strengthened. Heckel’s experiments with radish seed showed that if the seed be soaked in a solution of iodine it will germinate in five days; three days are required alter soaking in a solution of bromine, and the solation of chlorine will reduce the period to two days, which is a quarter of tiie normal time required. Heckel eventually reduced the period to a day and a half by a solution of camphor and bromine. In fact, all substances which readily part with the oxygen they contain, have this accelerating power. Sulphuric, nitric, muriatic acids, litharge, all, of course, strongly diluted, possess this property.—“Wesminster “Gazette.”

Once upon a time there was a Bathing Suit which differed from all its associates, for it was modest. It was much distressed at being so much talked about and caricatured in the papers. It had figured in the seashore, scene in a spectacular play. But, as I say, its mortification was extreme that it was obliged to bear- such undesirable publicity. No one would believe that a retiring disposition could belong to a bathing suit, and it was merely laughed at for its attempted vindication of its character.

But after thinking for a very long time on a possible course of action, it remembered that everyone called the violet modest, and determined to go and ask the little flower what it did to get up such an international reputation. So the Bathing Suit came to the Violet and asked it the momentous question, “What do yon do to make people all call you modest?” The Violet dropped her pretty head, and softly answered, “I shrink!” So the Bathing Suit went away and began to shrink, and the more it shrank the more it got itself talked about, until at last there was an unbearable scandal. Which goes to show that what is eminently proper and respectable for one person to do is often poor taste for another.—“ Puck.” Since more boys than girls are born in the countries of Western Europe, the. proportion being from 1040 to 1000 boys to every 1000 girls, how can we account for the fact that there are more women than men in those countries? To this question M. de Varigny, a French scientist, replies at length in a leading Paris paper: “Since there are more women, although more zren are born,” he says, “we must conclude that more men die than women, because they are not as healthy. There is no other solution, and, moreover, all the obtainable facts point in the same direction. More boys arc born than girls, yet there are almost always more girls alive than bo’ys. Mahy persons think that the principal reason why more men die than women is because t hey lead intemperate Jives. But though there may be some truth in this, it cannot be the sole solution of the problem, as the mortality among males is greatest during their early years, before, they know what vice or intemperance means. The first two years of life are extremely dangerous in the ease of boys, and those among them who are attacked by almost any ailment are less likely to recover than girls of the same age are. Indeed, until he is five years old the average boy is delicate, and this fact alone explains why the number of women exceeds that of men.”

The tune of “Bedelia,” which George Lauri introduced in “Tapu,” is now being whistled by every “dvoruik” in Moscow. Au ingenious Russian named Mirsky, being at a loss for music for a patriotic song, adopted the popular melody which lias “caught on.” The music is nightly played in the Grand restaurant, and ultra-patriotic diners sometimes rise and chant the Muscovite version, the first verse of ■which runs as follows:

“Japanese, we’re going to liek you. Japanese, O, pig-tailed dwarfs! tret your back to your geishas, O cowards! Leave fighting to men!”

The “London Gazette” of a late date states that the Lord Chancellor has abolished the following fees received in the office of the Clerk of the Crown in Chancery:—(l) The warrant for letters patent to be passed under the Great Seal on the grant of the dignity of a Knight Bachelor, £10; (2) the letters patent for the creation of a Knight Bachelor, £5O. Honours are officially granted by means of letters patent, on which fixed stamp duties are payable. These are as under:—Duke, £350; Marquis, £300; Earl, £250; Viscount, £200; Baron, £150; Baronet, £lOO. These are the bare fees alone; there are “extras,” which add heavily -to them. The great Orders are more costly still. It will be remembered that in December 1902 Lord Roberts contested the demand of the Court officials for a payment of some £450 for the Order of the Garter which was bestowed upon him. Altogether the famous soldier was asked to pay nearly £lOOO for his honours. In the case of the Garter there is material wealth to show for the sum paid. The collar alone, richly enamelled with roses and mottoes, weighs twenty ounces of pure gold, and is jewelled as well.

Not a few readers of the “Songs and Verses” of Lady John Scott, edited by her grandniece, and published by Mr David Douglas, of Edinburgh, will regret the omission of “Annie Laurie,” one of the most popular songs in the English-speaking world (remarks a London journal). Lady John Scott, who died four years ago, at the age of 90, was a sister-in-law of the late Duke of Buecleuch, for whom she made a collection of old Scotch songs and tunes; she was an accomplished musician as well as a verse-writer, and it is worth remarking, that, in her youth, she was for some time under the tuition of Manuel Garcia, who is now in his 100th year. Lady Scott, who, with Lady Cawdor, was the only person, it may be recalled, in Dalkeith Palace to receive Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, on the occasion of their visit in 1842—related to Lord Napier the story of “Annie Laurie.” “1 made the tunc long ago,” she stated, “to an absurd ballad, and once, before I was married, I was staying at Marehmont, and fell in with a collection of Allan Cunningham's poetry. I took a fancy to the words of ‘Annie Laurie,’ and thought they would go well to the tune I speak of. I didn’t quite like the words, how’ever, and I altered the verse—‘She’s baekit like a peacock’—to what it is now; and made the third verse —‘Like dew on the

go wan lyin’—myself, only for my own amusement.” Lady Jehu Scott, -who disliked publicity, gave “Annie Laurie” and other songs to a Lbndoa publisher, in 1850, in aid of the widows and orphans of soldiers killed in the Crimean War. A volume of Lady John Seott’s music will be ready shortly.

In an article in “Photography,” the editor irrefutably dispels the supposition cherished in certain circles that the spirits of the departed can be photographed. ,

With infinite care he has “treated” a large number of photographs alleged to represent the ‘spirits’ of dead persons,’’ and he shows them all to be “mere fakes.” ■'

“The allegations of the spiritualists,” he says, “are sufficiently striking to justify an inquiry, and that inquiry we have pursued for several years.” Among the points to which he draws particular attention are the following: — “The ‘spirit form’ in many cases is ‘lit’ from the opposite side to the sitter, “The peculiar degradation of tone values, well known and easily recognised: by photographers as resulting from copying a photograph, characterises the ‘spiritual’ part of nearly all ‘spirit photogrophs.’ “ ‘Spirit portraits’ of persons who died before the introduction of photography take the form of copies of paintings, or even crude engravings or line drawings.

“A notable case was shown of the actor Kean, in which the ‘spirit’ was clearly a copy of an early Victorian engraving.

“In no instance of a ‘spirit portrait’ of a well-known or eminent person is the ‘spirit’ represented as looking at or welcoming the material person, as suggested by the medium, but is in one of the weltkuown attitudes in which he was photographed in life. “Many ‘spirit faces’ bear unmistakable evidence of the interposition at sonic stage of the process of a half-tone screen.

“Somewhere or other, in the production of these photographs,” he adds, “where or by whom we are not called upon to show, there has been deliberate, intentional, and, as we hope we have made plain, very clumsy trickery.”

A reeent issue of the “Leisure Hour” has an interesting article on the British Ambassador, by Miss Mary Spencer Warren.

Miss Warren begins her article by telling us of the Ambassador’s apprenticeship—how he passes through the various grades of secretaryship to that of charge d’affaires, how he may become an envoy and receive his credentials from the Sovereign, and then a Minister formally accredited to a foreign Sovereign or State, and, finally, after several years’ service, how he may attain to the exalted position of Ambassador. Only very few, however, can hope to attain this high position; for although the Diplomatic Corps of Great Britain is large, there are only seven personages of the rank of Ambassador, and the countries to which they are attached are Franco, Germany, Russia, Austria, Italy, America and Turkey. The salaries range from £4OOO in Italy to £9OOO in France. Every Ambassador has an official residence, and he may at any, moment be called upon to receive in his house the monarch of the country where

he is residing. He practically plays the role of a king. Also he can negotiate with foreign Governments, for when he first arrives at. the I’oiirt to which he is admitted he has .with him a sealed letter from his Sovereign to the Sovereign to whom he is sent, saying that the former will approve of everything his representative does in his name.

An Ambassador has many privileges; he is entitled to either public or private audience with the Sovereign of the Court to which he is attached, and lie may, if he choose to do so, enter and remain in that Sovereign’s presence with bis hat on. An Ambassador is exempt from the taxes of the country in which he resides, and may even refuse the payment of local rates. Moreover, he enjoys perfect immunity from that country’s laws, and not only he, but his family, his staff, and his servants. He and they cannot be arrested for debt, and he can import a certain amount of foreign goods free of duty, the amount varying in different countries; that is, some concede free importation for first six months of office with after annual concessions; others give periodical free importation up to a certain value. Should His Excellency be guilty of any offence against the country his recall can be demanded of the British Court, and, needless to say, if any member of an Ambassador’s suite should offend the criminal law of the country, the Minister would probably hand him over for trial, otherwise a grave breach between the countries might lie incurred; but the emissaries of the law could not by any possibility enter the Embassy to make an arrest or serve a writ, as, once having erossed the threshold, they would be on English ground; everyone living beneath that roof is amenable to British law pn'y. - . j I’W *

' John Kendrick Bangs, who wrote “The House Boat on the Styx,” is giving the “New York Herald” some choice extracts from “The Diary of Father Time.” This is how the diarist deals with the tactfulness of hid ward VII.:—If there is one characteristic for which the seventh Edward of Great Britain has always been noted it is his tactfulness. Many anecdotes illustrative of this have been told by his loyal subjects of the British Erapire. and by his numerous staunch admirers in America as well. I recall visiting the royal nursery on an afternoon in 1844, or thereabouts. The Prince was enjoying all the delights of babyhood, and he took the greatest pleasure in contemplating his own name—which, as my readers may recall, in full is ’Albert Edward George Henry Fitzmorris John Thomas William Hubert Reginald Chauncey Theodore Henderson Alfred Howard Lewis Edgar James Saxe-Coburg de Gotha-Mecklenburg-Strelitz Wattin, lie having been named after all the family who could be recalled at the time of his christening. It was a long name and hard to remember, and yet when one of his distant relatives who had been forgotten at the moment the Prince was named—a certain Prince Peter from Russia—asked the child what his name was, upon the occasion to which 1 refer, he replied instantly, but with rare tact: “Well, my name in full is Albert Edward George Henry Fitzmorris continued in our next Wattin, but ray best friends call me ‘Pete’ for short.” It was predicted by the Platinum Stick in Waiting at that time that the young Prince would prove the most diplomatic monarch in history, a prophecy Which was no doubt in the mind of “Punch’s” editor, who said that Edward would not consent to reign until all his subjects were provided with umbrellas. The precocity of Alfred Austin is another subject upon which Father Time descants. He says: —However much surprise certain persons may have felt at the appointment of Mr Alfred Austin to the Poet Laureateship, his friends who had followed his career from boyhood up took the selection as a matter of course. I must confess that my own acquaintance w ; ith the poet began with that appointment, and 1 have always rejoiced at the selection, because otherwise I should probably never have heard of him and should thereby have missed much in the way of Eiiglish verse that is unquestionably charming. From the aforesaid friends, however, I have heard much of the earlier days of the Laureate, and from otic little incident, dating back to the poet’s seventh year, I can quite understand how it was that the friends Of his youth expected great things of iiim. The incident referred to tells A ery fampljr of a limerick jvhich (he boy

Alfred wrote at that tender age. As re peated to us it ran this way:

“There was a young lady of France, Whose father he came trom New Jersey; When asked, ‘What’s his name?’ She said. ‘I don't know. But I think it is spelt with a Q.’ ’*

“That,” said my informant, “strikes me as the most remarkable Limerick that was ever written.” And considering that it was written by a lad not yet seven years of age, I must agree that the poet’s friend was right. As has been said by another, it takes real genius to rhyme French with New Jersey, not to mention the Q.

“A great army,” Napoleon once said, “marches on its belly”; but it must pay for everything out of its own pockets. When war breaks out, enormous purchases must be made of materials of every kind—in the South African War England spent nearly Ji 17,000,000 in foreign count lies in the purchase of horses and mules alone—means of transport by sea and land must be hired or bought, and credit or paper money counts for little when the guns are firing. The commander of any army in the field must drag with him a cash-box of stupendous size and weight. Nations engaged in fighting must have agents in every civilised land buying supplies, hiring means of transport, etc., and for this purpose hard cash is necessary. All the Great Powers, therefore, hold in reserve vast accumulations of actual gold and silver in readiness for war purposes, The exact locality of these secret hoards, and their scale, are, of course, kept profoundly secret. But a list of the “warchests” of the Great Powers, with an account of the precautions taken in guarding them, would be a highly interesting bit of literature. Air Henry Norman was allowed to visit, and to actually photograph, the war-treasure of the Russian Government, it may be shrewdly suspected, for the purpose of persuading a somewhat credulous world that Russia has sufficient cash in hand for the purpose of carrying on the war. “I felt,” says Mr Norman, “as if some fairy had conducted me to one of the caves of gold I used to read about with awe as a child. Alost of the floor-space was occupied by long rows of bags, ten bags high, two bags wide, and from .fifteen to thirty bags long. When I had .made .a general inspection, I was informed that 1 had only to indicate which of the cupboards or bags I desired to have opened, and it would immediately be done. First of all, therefore, I went iu succession to three of the cupboards. the seals were broken and the locks removed, and I examined the ingots. There was no doubt about them —they were the real thing. Then I weife to one of the rows of bags, walked down it to the twentieth vertical row. and pointed to the third bag from the top. It was at once carried to the iron table, the seal broken, and the contents turned out. There were several smaller bags, of which I selected one, which was opened, and out poured a si ream of new live-rouble gold pieces. There. were 30,000 roubles in each large bag. and the row from which I had selected one was thirty bags long, two wide, and ten deep. Of the cupboards round the walls, about forty were full and a number partly full of gold ingots.” Within the little room in which Air Norman stood was over £02,000,000 sterling! The Monte Chisto treasure cave, or the cave of Aladdin in Eastern fable, seems tawdry compared with the t’zar’s treasure chamber in St. Petersburg.

The authoress of “An English Girl in Paris” (Miss Constance E. .Maud) has some amusing passages in her new book. “Aly French Friends.” One of the best of the casual character sketches is that of a hairdresser, who extols the virtues of a wig for young ladies, which he terms “transformation”: —

'“They are indispensable, see you. for the traversing of the ocean. Alademoiselle, she who has made the traversing to England, she will support me, is it not so? The own hairs they become, except in .cases rare, of an ugliness, of a limpness insupportable—no means otherwise—by the humidity of the sea. While with the transformation behold the difference, the beauty of these travellers is not only preserved, it is enhanced, and without trouble or inconvenience of any kind. Never, mademoiselle, must she make the imprudence pf a long voyage on the sea without this

precaution,’ lie warned me. ‘The ether day only it was that a real tragedy arrived to a young friend of one of niy clients, a demoiselle Angiaise. young, beautiful even as mademoiselle herself! She was fiancee, and should celebrate her marriage immediately on arriving at the Indias. On the road she is to encounter the fiance, and complete with him the voyage. She embarked from England with a eotisin, a miss no longer in her first youth, it appears, and lacking altogether the beauty of the other, so one says, but of the appearance as you say. “tailor-made,” well-conserved, and—observe the essential —-coiffed always in transformation, enfin, at fourpins. The misfortune behold it thou, when mister the fiance he joins these two young ladies at the Suez. 'I iie young fiancee she wears no transformation. Iler hairs they rest never in place; they become of an ugliness extreme, framing the face in torn rags, as though she represented an old sorceress. No longer can her fiancee support to look at her. and to console himself he turns the eyes to the picture more agreeable of her companion. That one finds herself only too content to replace her young cousin. Before the end of the voyage behold it is all finished with our poor demoiselle! It is a history true but true that,’ wound up Monsieur Rodolphe, impressively. “ ‘ Well,’ I observed, ‘he will be finely punished, that fianee false ami fickle. One cannot voyage, always on the sea, and imagine to yourself what will be the emotions of that bridegroom when he beholds cm the toilette-table of his bride the transformation. For no Englishman would have realised that it was a wig she wore.’ “‘No?’ asked Monsieur Rodolphe, in surprise. ‘The Englishman he is innocent till that point there? The Frenchman no, not, he is initiated —he knows all—that one! ’ ”

Of all the ceremonies connected with the sea. perhaps that held on board some ships when crossing the line, as the equator is called, is the oldest of all. It has been in vogue possibly for centuries, though of late years it has, unfortunately, rather fallen into disuse. But the most venerable sea-dog will tell you that in his early days to forego the ceremonial when the vessel was crossing the line would amount to almost a crime in the opinion of seasoned sailors.

When the ship is nearing the equator, a strange-looking figure appears at the bows one morning, with a long beard and hair made of oakum. He is supposed to be Neptune, the God of the Sea. and he comes to convene his court. When all are gathered round him. including the captain, he asks, in a loud voice: "Have you any chickens aboard?” By which he "means the youngsters who are now crossing the line for the first time. “Yes. sir,” answers the captain, in his politest tone; for does not this strange figure represent the God of the Sea. the controller of all the craft that sails on the mighty main? “Then,” answers the deity, “1 will hold my court on board at half-past nine to-morrow morning.”

Throughout the day extensive preparations are made. A sail is rigged up on the gangway of the upper deck, and when half-past nine, the next morning arrives it is filled with sea water. At. the same time a throne, generally consisting of a gnn-carrnage. is brought, alongside, so that when Neptune and his court approach everything is in readiness.

The sea-god and his satellites, to the number of twenty or thereabouts, make their way to the captain’s quarters, and are regaled with grog prior to the opening of the court. Then, followed by the captain, they go to where Hie throne stands waiting, and Neptune and Amphitrite sit in the centre, while the barbers, the “bears.” and others range themselves on his side.

Aleanwhile the sailors have been hunting the eraft over for the youngsters, and one by one they are dragged before the gaudily-dressed tribunal, whereupon they are. tried and sentenced according to the trouble they have given in being brought to justice.

As soon as the sentence is passed th« victim finds his arms pinioned behind him. and an executioner approaches with a bucket filled with a mixture of grease and lime, and with the aid of a whitewash brush he then proceeds to lather the youngster’s face with this concoction. At the same time Neptune puts a number of questions to the victim, eppeerning (he date of his birth, the

county from which !*• comes, and so forth; and when the latter opens .bis mouth to reply, the whitewash brush is quickly pushed inAfter five minutes' good lathering, one of the barbels conies forward with bis razor, which is nothing more or leas than a barrel-hoop considerably not. lied. There are three barbers, and the razor of each is notched to three different depths. If the victim has been condemned to the full sentence the court can puss he is shaved with the worstnotched razor of the three, which, as can lie imagined, scrapes the face until the skin becomes thoroughly sore. The ceremony of shaving the victim lasts five minutes or so. and then, al a signal from Father Neptune. Hie “chicken” is tilted head over heels into the sail filled with salt water, where the “bears," standing up to their waists, are ready to receive him. Here ho is ducked time after time, and pushed under by, one person and another until he is practically exhausted. Every time he attempts to break away from his tormentors and climbs up the slippery sides of the sail he is hit iu the face by someone standing on the deck armed with n truncheon filled with oatmeal; while simultaneously some of the “bears” will grab at his legs and drag him back again for an extra ducking as a reward for his audacity in trying to escape. Not until lie is thoroughly exhausted is lie allowed to go in peace, and a fresh’ victim is taken in hand to be treated in the same way. The court generally holds this revel up till mid-day, whereupon a number of sailors, with hose-pipes, appear on the scene, and send sharp jets of water into the faces of everybody. I'p in the rigging several men arc waiting with buckets of water, which they empty on to the head of a victim as he passes beneath. This sort of thing may be kept up for several hours, until the decks are running with water and everyone is drenched to the skin.