Here and There.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXII, Issue XXIV, 11 June 1904, Page 13

Here and There.

His Majesty the King of Great Britain now owns seven curs. including the splendid new 18-24-horse Mercedes, which has just been delivered at Sandringham. Three of the King’s cars are 22-horse Daimlers, while another is a 24-horse Darraeq, which he purchased iu Paris early last year. The favourite car, however, is one of the Daimlers, a luagniticent car. in which only the King's most intimate friends are privileged to drive. Adeliua Patti tells a good story of a little girl whom she had been teaching music. “This little girl.” she said, “is a delight. Her questions and answers are as entertaining as a comedy. The other day I was explaining to her the meaning of the f and if. ‘F,’ I said, ‘means forte. Now, if f means forte, what does ff mean?’ “ ‘Eighty.’ said the little girl.” The Duke of the Abruzzi, son of the King of Italy, is shortly expected to pay a second visit to Australia. He is now touring the world in a warship, and it is anticipated that he will reach Melbourne some time in July, when he will be accorded a demonstration by the Italian residents of the State. Mr Summers, the secretary of the Melbourne Dante Society, is now engaged organising the reception. An inquirer has gathered together some interesting facts about the birthplaces of certain famous novels. Mrs. Humphry Ward's “Robert Elsmere.” for example, was written in two places. The larger portion, it appears, was written at Borough Farm, in Surrey, while the latter part was completed in Russell Square, London. “Adam Bede” was written at Richmond. Surrey, where George Eliot was staying, about 1559. Here, also, Alirian Evans wrote her first book, “Scenes from Clerical Life.” “John Halifax, Gentleman,” Dinah Alulock Craik’s famous novel, was composed at Rose Cottage, Amberley, in Sussex. “Wee Macgreegor Again.” by J.J.8., is a further instalment of the sayings and doings of the amusing youngster, who has come to be recognised as a typical representative of juvenile Scotland. Mr Bell shows us him at a Sun-day-school soiree, at the circus, in the museum, at Mrs M'Ostrich’s party, and in various predicaments. He is always the same preternaturally canny and aggressive, but truthful and not ungenerous. “small boy,” who is so persistent that l-.e generally gets what he wants, like the majority of his fellow-country-men of older growth. The subsidiary personages, for so the relatives and playmates of “Wee Macgreegor” may be considered, are sketched by Mr Bell with the individuality that marks all liis characters. Air Bent’s joke as to more pumpkins being grown in his electorate than could be made into apple jam recalls some oldtime revelations in the Insolvency Court (says the “Alelbourne Argus”). A wellfenown preserving firm of that day was declared bankrupt, and during the inquiry before the late Judge Noel it was noticed that the company purchased more vegetables than fruit, yet never appeared to sell vegetables, “f notice.” said the judge to a witness, “that you bought large quantities of turnips, but never sold any. What has become of these?” “They were made into raspberry jam.” said the witness in quite a matter of fact tone. “They were the very best kind of turnips.” The judge fairly gasped. “But there are seeds in raspberry jam,” he said, “and there are no seeds in turnips.” “Wo put in clover seed for that," explained the expert. “We always bought up large stocks of clover seed when it got too stale to be of any use to the farmers.” The judge turned to Mr Braham, and said, “f am rather fond of jam. and I shall not ask this witness any further questions. It is well to keep some of our illusions.” - - - —

The notes which Mr. J. Stewart Lockhart adds to his “Manual of Chinese Quotations' contains some whimsical explanations. We are told that the quaint phrase “A Wit cow gasping at the moon,” is used to ridicule excessive nervousness. For iu the province of Wit (or Kiangsu) the heat is so great that when the cattle see the moon they immediately gasp for breath, thinking that it is the snn! Po-yu, who cried when his mother whipped him. is a characteristically exaggerated pattern of filial piety. He wept, we are told, not on account of the pain, but because he did not feel the whipping as much as formerly, by which he knew that his mother was becoming more infirm.

The late Frances Power Cobbe was able to make a profession which few cau echo, viz., that, given the choice, she would live again her life just as it had been lived. Not long before her death she wrote: “I would gladly accept the permission to run my earthly race once more from beginning to end, taking sunshine and shade just as they flickered over the long vista of my 70 years.” If few would definitely . sav as much.

many who have known a fair amount of sunshine and success, no doubt, have the feeling in a modified degree. They could at least say. like Lord John (Earl) Russell, when he lay dying at Pembroke Lodge, that they had enjoyed their lives.

Chinese is the most difficult language in the world to telegraph. This will be understood by any one who realises that in that language there is a separate character for each word. The method employed, which was the invention of Dane, is to group the characters as far as it is possible to do so, and then to attach numbers to them. It is these numbers which are telegraphed, and it will easily be seen that under such a system — the best which the peculiar character of the Chinese language allows—the possibilities of error are numerous.

The poetic instincts of the native Japanese are very strong, and this fact is well exemplified by the many poetic names which he gives to his fatherland. Just as we speak of Britain as the “Land of the Free,” the “Homeland,” the “Mother Country,” so do the Japanese apply a poetic namenclature to their island empire. Such titles as “Country of the Sun,” “Nest of the Sun,” “Between Heaven and Earth.” “Southern Country of Brave Warriors,” “Country of Peaceful Shores,” “Country Ruled by the Slender Sword,” “Princesses’ Country, “Land of Great Gentlemen,” “Honourable Country,” and others, are well known in Japanese literary circles. This story is told by ex-President Cleveland about a shopkeeper in a town visited by the ex-President last summer on a fishing excursion. For the purpose of advertising fishing roils which he had for sale, the shopkeeper had a large rod hanging outside his shop, with an artificial fish at the end of it. Late one night a townsman who had been dining a bit too well happened to see this fish. He looked at it. then went cautiously to the door and knocked gently. “W ho s there?" demanded the shopkeeper from an upper window. “Sh-h! Don't make a noise, but come down as quietly as you can,” was the reply. Thinking something serious the matter, the man dressed and stole downstairs. “Now. what's the matter?” he inquired. “Hist! Pull your line in quick: you’ve got a bite!” admonished the bibulous one. One of the perils of marriage is set out by a recent Benedict in the Loudon “Daily Mail” as follows: “I married a widow, who had a grown-up daughter. Aly father visited our house very often, fell in love with my step-daughter, and married her: so my father became my son-in-law and my step-daughter my mother, because she was my father's wife. Some time after rnv wife had a

son. He was my father's brot herinlaw and my unde, for he was the brother of my step- mother. My father'a wife— i.e, my step-daughter, had ah« a son. He was, of course, my brother, and in the meantime my grandchild, for he was the son of my daughter. My wife was my grandmother, because she was my father’s wife's, that is, my mother’s mother. . So 1 am the hu-band and the grandchild at the same time of my wife, and as the husband of a person's grandmother is his grandfather, it seems that through the force of circumstances I have become my own grandfather.”

That remarkable person for so many years known to readers of Australian newspa|»ers. Executioner Howard, otherwise “Nosey Bob,” is under retirement notice (says an Australian paper). The N-S.W. Government seeks a successor. Howard has despatched, or assisted to do so. about a hundred persons, men anil women, black and white. Christian and Pagan. In business he is without nerves or emotion. Laconically he remarks that he only does with a rope what judges do with their tongues. He was originally a cabman, and a steady, wellrespected cabman too, but a horse kicked him and so disfigured his face that there was no opening for him in ordinary walks. He accepted the Government billet through necessity. He lives in a cottage at Bondi, with a couple of sons, on a sandy beach that is barren and bleak in the extreme. He has amassed a little money, and. notwithstanding his repulsive work, is quiet and inoffensive in manner.

The “Athenaeum” tells of an interesting historical document, about to la* offered at auction, at Sotheby’s. It is ths original warrant, dated March 4. U;74-.», directing the apprehension of Buuyau, for that he had "preached or teaehed at a Conventicle meeting or assembly under eolr c-r p’tence of exercise of religion in other manner than according to tho Liturgie or practise cf the Church of England.” This warrant in 1887 camo into the possession of Air. W. G. Thorps from the Chauncy collection. He points out that It confirms the testimony of Bunyan's older biographers that he suffered a second imprisonment, during which the “Pilgrim’s Progress” almost certainly was written. It is signed by 13 justices, and is in singularly good condition, the seals being quite sharp. There is no contemporary record of Bunyan's conviction in 1G75, nor do wo certainly know iu what prison he was confined, but tradition says he was some time in the town gaol on the old bridge, and his imprisonment for 12 years, from IGGO to 1072. was in tho county gaol in Silver-street.

There is a striking description in Aliss Alary Durham’s “ Through the Lands of the Serb” of those fierce, half-nouiail warriors, the Albanians, one of the mostperplexing factors in the Macedonian question. “The Albanian (writes Miss Durham) has many of the physical attributes of a beast of prey. A lean, wiry thing, all tough sinew, and as supple as a panther, he moves with a long, easy stride, quite silently, for his feet are shod with pliant leather sandals, with which he grips the rock as he climbs. He is heavily armed, and as he goes his keen eyes watch ceaselessly lor the foe he is always expecting to meet. . His boldly striped garments, with their lines and zigzags of black embroidery, recall the markings of the tiger ami zebra, and sundry venomous snakes and insects.’’ Emperor Francis Joseph of Austria is the most betitled monarch in the world. Without his Imperial crown —which is the identical tiara of Charlemagne—lie is nine times a king, twice a grand dnke, once a grand prince, twice a prince, four times a "margrave,” and the multitude of his titles as count and so forth is past enumeration. The total of his titles of sovereignty and nobility exceeds a hundred. In addition, as King of Hungary, he bears the title of “Alost Apostolic.” which is one of the four honours bestowed by the Pope. Were the sovereigns of Europe to meet in Council, there is no doubt that the premier place would be conceded to Emperor Francis Joseph—alike by reason of hi> hereditary prestige and of his representation of the ancient Holy Homan Empire.

Now that war is again raging, it is Interesting to con over the cost in men ami money of some of the great wars of the past sixty years. The American War of Secession is computed to have cost X IGO,OOU,OOG and 554.000 men. To Fiance alone the war with Germany cost £ 348,000.000 and 127,000 men. The Germans lost 44,890 men. Rusia’s last war with Turkey cost her £100,000,000. The total loss in men was about 30.000. The Crimea cost about £308,000.000 and 386,000 men.

Twa gentlemen, one of whom has been h lifelong friend of Thomas A. Edison, recently called at his laboratory, and asked to see him. They were somewhat surprised when told by the attendant that the inventor was very busy, and was not receiving visitors. “What?** said the friend. “Do you mean to say 1 cannot see ‘Tom* Edison? Why, I’ve known him intimately for twenty years!** “Oh. no! I don’t say lie won’t see you.” replied the servant, with a superior air. “But Mrs Edison waited here for two hours this morning, and had to go away without scein’ him. and I don’t s pose you know him any better’ll she •Joes.*’

She was out shopping, and she informed the very polite young man l»e--bind the counter that she desired ta •see some dress patterns. lie began on the lowest row of shelved compartments, and pulled out and epc.iefi box after box until the counter on either side of him was piled as high as his head with goods. Three times he climbed a ladder to the upper rows and staggered down under a weight of box ]>atterns, until but two patterns remains unopened. Then she said, very sweetly: “I don’t think I’ll buy any to-day. I am sorry Io have troubled you: but. you =ee. I only came in to look for a friend.*’ “No trouble whatever, madam.’’ he replied, politely. “If you think your friend is in either of the remaining boxes, 1 will open them, too.’’

Admiral Ito, who earned his viscounty for services in the (‘hino-Japanese war, must not be confounded with Marquis Ito, who was Premier of the Japanese Cabinet until 1901. The admiral is very European in his methods. A story is told, rather against him. when the Japanese landed a force after the battle of Yalu. Shortly after his establishment he was one day annoyed by the receipt of a telegram from a subordinate whom he had allowed off on furlough, which read: “Will not report to-day. as expected, on account unavoidable circumstances.” The tone of the message was not at all to Admiral Ito’s mind, and he wired at once in reply. “Report as expected, or give reasons.” Within an hour the following message came over the wires from a hospital in Yokosuka. “Train off—can’t ride: legs off—can’t walk. Will not report unless you insist.” The admiral did not insist. Referring to Stevenson’s break of 788 —a record since the al»olitioii of the “ push stroke ” —which the ex-champion put up in the match against Dawson, the present champion, the “Express” >ays: — I’herc was little indication in the early stages of the play that a record was forthcoming, for Stevenson went thirteen times to the table liefore accomplishing anything out of the ordinary. Dawson had made 121. and seemed likely io add to bis already comfortable lead, when Stevenson showed play of a brilliancy that electritied the company. Cannons and hazards, difficult strokes and simple ones, all came alike to him. Occasional difficulties were overcome in masterly fashion. some of his strokes Iteing really maivcllous. Favoured by fortune when he had made 510 —going into a pocket after narrowly mi-sing a cannon—he • ontinued to score superbly all round the talde, and when he parsed Daws"ii’s record break of 722 he was hailed with a rousing burst of cheers, lie looked good for almost double the number, so skilfully and confidently was he playing, but at laM he failed at an easy red winning hazard, am) the magnificent effort ended at 788. With the exception of the little piece of luck mentioned, it was a faultless effort, and it

is safe to say that some time will elapse liefore it is beaten. Other breaks have exceeded this, but the ciriuDistances were different. John Robert-' 1392 at Manchester in May, 1894, was made with the “push” in, and so was Diggle's 985 ar the Argyll Hall in 1895. Then T. Taylor compiled a mammoth break of 1467 at the Aquarium in April. 1891, but on that occasion he got the balls jammed in the jaws of the left top pocket, and made 729 consecutive cannons.

There was a remarkable instance of ‘•splitting justice’’ on the frontier of France and Belgium in a recent case, in which three Belgians and n Frenchman were implicated. In a little wooden shed, built exactly over the frontier line between the two countries, at the town of Jenmont, three Belgian Anarchists on trial for the bomb outrage at Liege were confronted with their French accomplice Philippe. The latter, standing on the French isde of the line, was guarded by two gendarme*, while the Belgian prisoners, in the charge of two of their countrymen. stood a couple of yards away across the line of demarcation. In the middle and exactly over the frontier was a table, half in France and half in Belgium, the Belgian magistrate sitting in his own country, while M. Leydet. accompanied by the local justice, sat on the French side.

A new cafe adds to the gaiety of Col-lins-street, remarks a Melbourne correspondent. It is a big, bright, beautifully toned establishment, and only in its infancy. They say that it is going to revolutionise cafe life. Head waiters are to be imported from London. Later on a first-class orchestra is to make music of a classic but still inspiriting order. Thousands more are to be spent in bringing about a continental environment. Meanwhile the crowd passes in to tea or supper—the latter is a sparkling feature, and finds the pastel grey walls and the dado of sportive peacocks something quite new and diverting. The waitress is: a bona fide waitress, and not the highly superior and tip-scorning attendant of the Melbourne tea-room. But the majority of us would prefer to see the good-looking Hebe—frill and all —- rather than the old order of commonplace waitress. The arrival of such a cafe sets one thinking. It seems as if a golden age were coming to the Metropolis—that the sad era of booms and c rashes, bubbles and failures, had passed with a grim procession of the bankrupt, and now all was to he sparkling prosperity. A great cafe with practical schemes of elaboration is an offering to the god. Success. And whether we patronise the swagger resort or not, there is the satisfactory thought that things are progressing, that the city is moving onward, that the practical optimism as show n in such an ambitious scheme in our midst augur- a brighter future for the luxurious tastes of the community. The newest parlour puzzle to amuse afternoon-tea guests (writes “Ellen” in the “Australasian”) is built up on the old game of discovering smaller words in a long word. This, however, is on up-to-date lines. A eard is given to each visitor, with a long word written at the top —Mesopotamia, for instance, or formidable, or any long enough to produce the necessary answers. Then underneath are the questions—Give the name of a well-known politician, of a Melbourne actress, of a favourite cake, of a street in Hawthorn, a wicked man, a wi-.-ked woman, etc. The questions are 10 to 12 in number, and the answers must coincide with those fixed upon by the bo-:ess. Ingenuity in finding a suitable long word i» necessary, and the questions should be definite, and not give room for too much doubt among several answers. A more elaborate form is taken vs hen each answer depends on the last, and the whole makes a humorous or punning scrap of information. Thus, if a politician's name is asked for. and it is declared to be Deakin, the next question may l>e a play on Bent's name, the next on Ri id's, the next on the Conciliation and Arbitration Bill. If an actress' name is asked for, the succeeding answers must depend on some ingenious play on her songs, phrases, or dames. However, the simpler form promises to be most popular, in which each answer is independent of the ot hers. ■w-—-

A little bit of real Japan has been planted in Loudon. No. 39, King-street, Covcnt Garden, now bears a brass plate inscribed with the mysterious words, “Nihon-jin-Kai,” which, being interpret ted, means “Society of Japanese People”—in other word®, the Japanese Club. Viscount Hayashi, the Japanese Minister. is the president, and the members number about 100, or two-thirds of the entire Japanese community in 1-ondon. Hr Yoshii, of the Nippon Yusen Kaisha, is the secretary. The clnb is thoroughly Japanese. Refreshments prepared by three Japanese cooks will be supplied as in Tokio and brought on to the table on the peculiar square tray •‘ozen” and the little porcelain basin “ehawan,” with the awkwardlooking chopsticks. At the entrance stands a smiling little Jap, whose chief function appears to be to look extremely pleased at the advent of a stranger and to fail to understand what is said to him. On the walls are formidable crossed swords made familiar to Londoners by •’The Darling of the Gods," and brightly coloured drawings and scrolls, whieii, of course, mean much to the members, but very little to English visitors.

Piri te Kauohl Nga wham kei hea ra O nguta e te Tau Tou pai te uiauawa Tou rae ano te nia. Dressed in a loose costume of finelyspun flax, covered with feathers of the sacred huia bird, his dusky chest, arms and legs quite bare, and presenting altogether a handsome figure. Rangi Via, the Maori chieftain, sang “Aroha,” from which the above verse is selected, to a fashionable audience at the residence of Mrs W. tV. Grantham, in Cadogan Place, says a London paper concerning a young Maori who will be remembered by many in this colony. The costume was similar to that which he wore when he led the war-dance witnessed by the Prinee and Princess of Wales on the occasion of their visit to New Zealand. The pity of it was that no one understood the words of his songs. They were all of his own composition, and bore the following titles: “Slave Song,” "Te Poi,” “Aroha,-” “Apakura” (lament), “Waiata E Hine,” “The Echo,” “Takaro,” (mirth). The chief, who possesses a rich and powerful tenor voice, which has been trained in New Zealand, sang with intense feeling, and accompanied his words with quaint, rhythmic gestures. His presence in England, for the purpose of introducing his native songs to English audiences, was justified by the rapturous applause with which his efforts were greeted. Among those who listened to the melodies were the Countess of Seafield, Lady Romer. Lady Alston, Sir A. and Lady De la Rue, Sir John and Lady Steevens, and Mr Abe. first secretary of the Japanese Legation, and Mrs Abe.

Men on board other ships in Sydney Harbour were not altogether sorry when H.M.s. Euryalus left (says a Sydney writer). The flagship is so much bigger than the Royal Arthur that when swinging at her buoy in Farm Cove she narrows the channel very much, and

when the tide turns her across Pinchgut, it is all that some ships eanda to get past. Quite a fleet of boats are stowed on the boat-deek of the Euryalus, when not in use. There are nineteen altogether, ranging from the steam picket-boat and the 42ft sailing launch to a light pulling-boat. Three steam launches are attached to the flagship. The boats are swung on board by machinery. Although there is .so much that is modern on board the Euryalus, the officers of the Royal Navy still cling to the old customs. Invitations are delivered by hand, as they were hundred* of years ago. Invited guests are relieved of the etiquette of ' delivering their names in the same way, because they are not required to answer to the person in whose name the invitation is sent, but to the Admiral's or Mrs Fanshawe’s representative, the flag-lieuten-ant. Long ago in Melbourne, invitations were sent by hand from Government House. Answers were expected to be sent in the same way. Sailors, stepping on board a man-o'-war, still salute the quarter-deck. The ship’s flag used to cover the capstan on the quarter-deck, and the men saluted the flag. The flag is no longer there, but-they still salute the deck. Pipes are still played when the Admiral walks up the gangway. In former times the Admiral had to ba hoisted on board in a boat, and the piper’s duty was to encourage the men who were hauling. An Admiral nowgoes up without assistance, but he is piped on board all the same.

“The Lancet” contains an energetfa protest, both on moral and medical grounds, against Air Austen Chamberlain's decision to raise the moisture in tobacco from 30 to 33 per cent. There may be good revenue reasons for the step, says the “Lancet,” but the principle of the proposal is open to objection. "To pay 5/ a pound for water in tobacco may not appear on all fours with paying 5d a quart for water in milk, or 1/6 a pound in butter, but morally there is no difference. The State allows it in the first case, but not in the second or third.” In regard to its objections to the step on medical grounds the “Lancet” says:—“The presence of moisture in tobacco is of some importance to the publie health, since the combustion of tobacco containing a large proportion of moisture is impeded, while as the generation of vapour is increased so are the changes of the poisonous principles being carried into the mouth.” A well-known physician who was consulted on the matter, strongly supported the views of the “Lancet.” “There is no use denying,” said he, “that tobacco is a poison, and in these days when not only men but women and children indulge in it it is very desirable that it should be taken in the most innocent form. This increase of moisture will certainly augment the injuriousness of the tobacco habit, because the more slowly the tobacco burns the heavier will be the vapours and the longer they will linger in the system.” In plain language, this means that the moister the tobacco the more nicotine it yields.

••Oh. love!" he cried. Aud died. Two ■ wemen. oil the other shore. JVho had been wires to him before, Heard bis appealing cry And rose to dr To meet him at the gate. And met eaeh other—we hesitate Right here and slop. Because we think it best .To let the matter drop. When your 'phone is out of order, and the only voice you know Is your own. which wildly bellows in the box a tierce. "Hello!" You ean understand the feelings of a murderer. and see Many mitigating things that might have happened easily. Oh. you bop around In frenzy till you’re goggle-eyed and faint—- . When your 'phone is out of order—but your roiee and feelings ain’t.

When your 'phone is out of order yon say many, many things Which recur in calmer moments like a bunch of adder stings— As yon curse the poor transmitter you forget your solemn perch On the ladder of Society- a pillar of the church; Isut the devil listens gleefully, somewhere alone the line. .When your 'phone is out of order —but . your voice is working tine. First, the foal. Wobbly, and nursing at its mother's side; And then the whinnying colt, with geutle eyes And softly tloalliig mane, frisking In paddock. Nibbling luscious green. Then comes the saddle. Fiercely fought at first, with many a But later l>orne with grace. Th n daily training. Mouths of pampering care, and trials on .a course. Travelling, and racing under clever hands. Eager to records make or break. ;Win Cup or land fat purse. And then a mishap. Tendon strained, and as a "selling plater ” bartered; Il's days of money-earning nipped in butt. For him no more iite soft caress of hand. And he has played his part. The sixth age shows The horse of geutle breed docked, and drawing cab .With weary stride, eyes bulging and mark of whip On his shrunk shank: and the full, deep breath. Once drawn in measure strong, labours And whistles in its sound!’ Last scene of all That ends this strange, pathetic history. For which 'twere mercy to implore oblivion— Sans tail, sans sight, sans strength, sans everything! I . ■ Four hundred new rooms have just been added to the famous Savoy Hotel in the Strand, London, and the total cost of the extension is over one million sterling. The foyer will be one of London’s show-places. Hanging from an elaborate ceiling of wonderful beauty, supported by gold-capped marble pillars, are six great electroliers, exact replicas of the famous glass chandeliers at the Louvre. Forty men were required to carry the great roll of new earpet through the grand entrance into the foyer. It is 48ft square, was made in Austria, and is the largest and heaviest carpet in one piece ever manufactured for this country. On the left Of the covered carriageway is the French restaurant and grill—a room of dazzling whiteness, decorated with exquisite refinement. The great span of stone, which forms a proscenium to the covered and rubber-paved carriageway at the new Strand entrance will soon be surmounted by a bronze statue of the first Duke of Savoy. The grand entrance is enriched with exquisitely carved mahogany screens, beautiful marbles. Kind a classical sculptured frieze of dancing maidens. Simpson’s new tavern is a work of art. The ladies’ restaurant, with its oak panelling and oil paintings in the carved ceiling, its beautiful electroliers, and general air of elegance, will rank as one of the finest apartments in London. The famous round table of the Knights’ Club, housemate of Simpson’s, leans against the wall ready to be placed on its three logs when the decorators have finished their work (says the “Express’’).

Speaking to a newspaper representative recently.. Mr Carnegie referred to the Chinese labour question, and said that English political history was marked by three great blunders. The first Cost Great Britain her great North American dependency. the second was the Crimean war. and the third was the Boer war. The last was n far more serious mistake than the Crimean war. as when the latter was over the trouble Was at an end. As far as the Boer war

was concerned, the troublesome effect* and consequences were all to come, and they were only now beginning to make themselves felt. The blunder of the Boer war was second in magnitude only to that by which Great Britain lost the North American colonies, and it might have similar consequences. The introduction of Chinese labour would not make the colony British, nor could it possibly tend to bind it to the Empire. There could be no doubt that the Government were confronted by a very serious problem in South Africa, and he’regarded it as an even more difficult problem than that by which the Americans were confronted in the Philippines.

To convert a new oak chair into an ••'old" one, worth twice the money, within the space of a day or two, seems incredible even in this advanced age, but with the assistance of X-rays it can be done. Therefore, buyers of “antique" furniture from unreliable dealers had better be careful that when ostensibly purchasing a beautiful old sideboard or table of the “Elizabethan period” they are not really paying an enormous sum for an article “manufactured in Germany” a fortnight previously. “Now that the worms with wood-eat-ing propensities have been discovered and placed under cultivation, fraud of this kind is rendered comparatively easy by unscrupulous persons,” said an expert connected with a fashionable furnishing house to an "Express” representative. “First of all some potatoes are reduced to a pulp and treated with glycerine. After a chemical process the mixture is rubbed on the new furniture that is to be transformed, and then the worms are ‘let loose.* Revelling in the potato substance, they eat into the woodwork until such time as the ‘operator’ considers that they have given to it a satisfactory appearance of old age. “This is where the X-rays come in. A strong douche of ozone is given to the article, all the germs are killed instantly, and there you have your ‘antique furniture.’ “Although I have never tried it, I believe the fierce application of X-rays to furniture alone gives it the appearance of old age," said Air Harry W. Cox, the head of the large firm of manufacturers of X-ray appliances bearing his name. “The etleet would be to darken the colour, and the sofa or overmantel would look as. if long usage had turned it from a light to a dark colour. “Host probably the same thing would result if a new violin were subjected to the rays. The purchaser might then pay heavily for a comparatively worthless instrument instead of. as he thought, a beautiful Stradivarius.”—“London Express.”

It is now well known that for months —nay. years—before the outbreak of the Russo-Japanese war the country likely to become the scene of operations was swarming with the agents of the Intelligence Department of the Japanese Army. Officers of high rank have not disdained to disguise themselves as coolies, and perform all kinds of menial labour, if by doing so they could only obtain information likely to be useful during a campaign.

Such work is best done in time of peace; but a general commanding an army in the field always has an intelligence department, w-ho conduct their secret work in the enemy’s country at imminent risk of death. The chief of the intelligence department is attached to the general’s headquarters, and is directly responsible to the chief of the staff. In the British Army the chief intelligence officer is nominally an aidedo eamp. and pains are taken to prevent the field force generally knowing that he is in control of the spies. In all European armies there are half a dozen approved methods of obtaining information, all of which arc practised by a capable intelligence officer. A spy who is also an operator can tap the telegraph wires with his small pocket instrument, and one such man is worth a dozen ordinary spies. He is useful in conveying false information to the enemy, or ordering him to concentrate on points'where has has no business to be.

Prisoners are often useful in giving information, and arc always questioned by the chief intelligence officer separately. queries being put as to which corps, division, and regiment the prisoner belongs to, where it is encamped, and

how long it has been there, to begin with. The intelligence officer already has in bh possession the rianies of the commanding officers of the various diviaions. etc.; he talks of them familiarly, and the unfortunate prisoner, bewildered by finding that his questioner already knows so much, readily yields up his remaining stock of information. Now we come to the most Useful part of the intelligence officer’s material—his own spies. It is a hard and fast rule that no spy is made known to any of the others; each is allowed to believe that he is the only one engaged on that particular work- Large rewards are given for really, valuable information, and a useful spy is always well treated. All bona fide spies (if such a contradiction in terms is allowable) carry about with them some secret means of proving themselves to be really what they represent. A Testament, with a certain leaf torn out. a coin of a certain date, are typical tokens of identity, and these are frequently changed. Some intelligence officers prefer as a token some gesture—such as touching the chin with certain fingers, and so on. In this way spies can easily make themselves known to the intelligence department of any division of the army with which they come in contact. Special paper and ink—the latter of the kind known as “sympathetic”—are used for conveying messages by means of spies, and a non-committal letter in ordinary ink written between the lines of the secret information. Letters are sometimes written on very thin paper, and put into an inch-long quill, which may easily be concealed in the hair or beard. Sir George White sent- messages to General Buller from beleaguered Ladysmith in this way. Semi - seriously. semi - satirically. '' Truth ' discussed the dismal outlook presented by the declining marriage and birth rate. After surveying various suggested remedies, ineluding the stringent taxation of bachelors andbachelor girls”, (who cannot attest that they have had no offers), the writer discusses the question of plural marriage—whether it would not be “ wiser, and perhaps kinder, to arrive at the desiredend by the Oriental arrangement.” He proceeds:—“Of course, in any argument on these lines it must be assumed that the men who are already married will have no objection to become more so. I think we may take it that a certain number would. . . What we must remember is that there is still a very large body of respectable, steady going British husbands whose language and conduct prove their high regard for the marriage state and the joys of paternity. May we not assume that if the matter were put to them in the right, light, if the gravity of the national crisis were sufficiently impressed upon them, some of them—at any rate, those who could afford it—might be induced to enlarge their responsibilities’ It may. perhaps, be urged that their present wives would object. I can hardly believe this. Of course, one never knows in advance what a woman will do or think in any given circumstances. But what higher compliment, I ask, ean a man possibly pay his wife than to desire another after he has been married two or three years? Think of it for a moment, my clear Mrs Grundy. When Grundy popped that momentous question, your girlish vanity was tickled a little, eh? You felt somewhere, did you not. a flutter of maidenly satisfaction that your undeniable charms had done their work? But reflect that Grundy—though a dashing young spark, no doubt —had only seen, so to speak, the drawingroom and tenuis-lawn side of you: while, as regards the humdrum, jog-trot business

of married life, he was as innocent as your three-montba-old babe, the youngest of six. "But suppose that the Grnndy whom yott know to-day. th* staid paterfamilias of nine years’ standing. with the domesticated habits and expanding waistband, were to come home with his brig from the city one night and say, ‘ Emily, my dear, you have been a good wife to me. I was a happy man when you accepted me. but 1 hail little idea then of the joys that married life had in store. 1 have been thinking, my dear, what I ean possibly do to show my love for you and the children. I want you to know that you have made me feel that a happy marriage and a growing family are the only joys in life worth having. So now for a little .surprise. I have proposed to little Marjory Dawson, and the darling girl has accepted me. I chose her because she is the exact image of you—at her age. The Encouragement of Matrimony Act comes into force. as you know, on the first of April. Marjory and I are to be married on the second. Now. I want you to give me away, and Marjory is most anxious that our Emily shall be one of her bridesmaids.’ I ask, my dear madam, whether you would nof feel this disinterested action on the part of the mature and experienced Grundy infinitely more flattering to your womanly qualities than the homage of the raw youth who popped the question ten years ago? No. Whoever may object to the new Act, it ought not to be Mrs Grundy.”

"The servant question in Spain, as in most other countries, is one which demands much attention from the housekeeper/’ writes Mrs. Dorothy Cole in a delightful article on "My Spanish Servants” in the "Wide World.” "During the many years 1 have lived in Spain 1 have had occasion to employ a large number of servants, and in doing so I have had some very odd experiences.” Mrs. Cole tells some quaint anecdotes in illustration. Here arc a couple. The first relates to a brilliant handmaid named Julia: One evening just after tea I stopped into the drawing-room, and was horrified to see smoke coming from the bottom of some heavy window curtains. As 1 entered a tiny curling tongue of flame, shot up as if to warn me that if I was to act at all it must be instantly. I jumped for the door of the dining room near by, and screamed out for Julia. She came at once. "Julia, run to the kitchen and bring some water, or we shall have the whole house in flames,” I said, agitatedly. The girl made a hurried exit in the direction of the kitchen, and I dodged into my bedroom to get a ewer. By good chance my husband was in the room, and twenty seconds later the fire was extinguished with the aid of two jugs of water, and my husband was receiving a sound curtain lecture on the necessity of careful habits. "Please, senora,” the girl replied, "1 was waiting till it lioiled! It will l>e ready in a minute.” And she pointed triumphantly to a couple of kettles that were just beginning to sing! The male servants were equally eccentric. Mrs. Cole’s husband sent his servant Jose to the tobacconist’s one day. giving him the following instructions: "Jose, here is a peseta. With this peseta buy me some Havana cigarettes. Here is another peseta. With this other peseta buy me some wax matches.” Thus adjured Jose departed. An hour passed and he did not return. Deciding to wait no longer for his smoke, my husband hied himself to the tobacco shop, and there found Jose. The poor boy was evidently in the deepest despair. Questioner! as to his trouble, lie explained, my husband says, that upon reaching the shop he found he had got the two pesetas mixed, and was unable to tell which was the peseta for the cigarette* and which one for the matches!