The Way of the World.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXII, Issue XXIII, 4 June 1904, Page 4

The Way of the World.

THE TRIUMPHS OF “CHEEK.” In my daily paper this morning I read the following: “Counsel (examining bankrupt): When you started business you say you had no means whatever? Bankrupt : None. Counsel: You only possessed ‘cheek’? (Laughter.) Bankrupt: Well, ‘cheek’ is a valuable commodity nowadays. Counsel: Some people look on it as everything, but it seems not to go far when creditor* have to be paid.” There appears to be a good deal in (his little incident in the Bankruptcy Court. Is “cheek” a valuable commodity. as the witness imagined? One may well hesitate to accept as an authority on how to succeed in life a gentleman who finds himself in the awkward predicament of being only able to pay hjs creditors our and sevenpence halfpenny in the pound. But does “cheek” pay? Is it worth cultivating? If it does sue reed, why does it? And is it becoming more common? Upon the last point a great medical authority, in a recent lecture, declared: “The tendency of our life at present is towards people becoming more tense, more nervous, more self-introspective, and less confident in themselves. This pernicious tendency has been partly checked by the revival of athletics: but it is still alarmingly visible to the physician in the youth of the nation.” Now. if this medical authority is right, how is it that the present day is so commonly described as the “day of the ‘bounder’”? As far as I can make out, that very objectionable gentleman lias been common to every period of which we have historical records, and id ail of them he has scored his triumph-. “By a loud voice, a brazen count cull nee. and the pretence of gracious quali« lies which were far from his possession he did so work on people as to be ad vanced to this great honour.* says a writer describing an old-time Speaker of the House of Commons. And I can not imagine a more emphatic descriptioi of a “bounder” than that. I believe myself that he existed before the Fiood. Depend upon it th have always been people like that flourishing barrister who. by his impudence, excited the wrath of the late Lord Kus sell. “Sir.” the judge exclaimed al last, frowning down upon him from the Bench, “you are presumptuous!” “Thank you. my lord!” retorted the unabashed barrister, with a bow. His “brothers” at the Bar have always since declared that he regarded Lord Bussell’s words as a valuable test imo l i t'. That self - assertiveness triumphs around us to an alarming extent at the present day there can be no doubt. That, it does so because we have become more commonly infected with the spirit of “bounce.” I do not believe. The real reason why the “bounder” succeeds so is, I honestly believe, to be found in tin fact that nine-tenths of ordinary people do not think sufficiently well of themselves. and do not do themselves justice. A friend of Napoleon the Third told me that the unfortunate Emperor was peculiarly the victim of the self-assertive man. Upon one occasion, when he was

reproached with having made a specially unfortunate appointment, he declared that he had consulted a dozen men whom he thought most fitted for it. and each had said that he would endeavour his best to fulfil it. "Monsieur X”—the man who got it — “said he eould do everything I wanted.” explained the Emperor; “and how was I to know, when he said so. that he was the only man of the lot who could not?" It. was the false modesty of those other dozen men which prevented their own advancement, advanced the charlatan. and helped to ruin the Emperor. I was at an “At Home” a little while ago. in company with one of the most marvellous violinists the musical world has ever produced, when the occasion was seized on by an obtrusively self asertive individual to “treat” us to some of his exhibitions on a violin. When he had finished, the hostess eame to me. “Is not Mr A. a wonderful performer?” she asked me. referring to the gentleman who had been torturing us. “Very.” I answered. “I don't think anyone else could play like him." she went on. “And oh. Sir Vanity, who was that strange-looking gentleman you had with you? T do not sec him here now.” "Fie has fled, madam. I replied. “He is the master who onee tried to teach Mr A. music!” At the first scrape of Mr A.’s bow across the violin strings, the real musician made his escape, in spite of all my entreaties that he would stay and annihilate the charlatan by playing himself. He was seized with a panic, and beat a cowardly retreat. leaving all the honours to the musical “bounder.” Who has not been at a party at which the self-assertive individual has monopolised the w'hole occasion to himself, while a score of people, more sensible, more witty, have sat silent and abashed while he performed? Sydney* Smith once went to a dinner

at which he sat next to a man of this kind, a gentleman whose loud and unceasing voice hardly allowed his unfortunate neighbour an opportunity of open ill" his lips. "I hope yon have enjoyed vourself.” said his Lost, as the most brilliant wit of the day was leavilrg. “Very. Very!” replied Sydney Smith. "I fee] just as if T had spent a couple of hours in the middle of a thunderstorm.”

The puzzled host sought Smith’s companion. and asked him what he thought of hit.i.

“A very nice fellow. Very!” he replied. "But. good heavens! how these fellows with big reputations are overrated! He never said a witty thing the whole evening, only ‘Ah!’ and ‘Oh!’”

It the sensible people, the real able people, '-onld only attain to a proper degree of self-confidence, these charlatans would find their tight for pre-emin-ence unavailing, and the world would be infinitely the better for their discomfort. Their success is founded on the nervousness and self - diffidence 01 others. The greatest eheek the “bound-

er (an receive is the cultivation of a general, proper self-confidence in other people. If this is “the day of the bounder’." it is so because never was there before so much timidity, seidepreciation, and want of confidence felt

by thousands of young people. They invite the the brutality of the “bounder.” just as a timid old lady invites the foot pad to rob her.

I have received a letter from a correspondent in which he asks me if I can advise him how to overcome a shyness which makes him wholly unable to do justice to himself in society. His is an acute instance of a complaint a good deal more common than influenza.

Charles Kingsley once told me that when in a room with strangers he. often felt as if he could wish the floor to open beneath him and let him escape. Kingsley had the courage of a lion in any real danger, and while he stammered and stuttered in private conversation, could preach to thousands without halting. I have a friend who occupied a post in a large mercantile firm for five years before they accidentally discovered that he wrote and spoke French like a native. and had an excellent knowledge of German. They were qualifications which, had the firm known of them, would have secured him a better berth years before. He could never summon up courage to speak to his employers on the question. T do not suppose that there is any occupation which mak«... more demamis on self-confidence than that of a commercial traveller. “I remember the first day T started and the first call I made,” a gentleman who travels for one of the most renowned stationery firms told me. “When I eame to the shop T was to call at I walked up and down the street for at least an hour before T dare enter it.” That gentleman did not do much Business the first month. Athletics in moderation are undoubtedly of the greatest service in conquering an excess of nerves, and the best of all. a West-End physician informs me. is cycling. “■Whenever I can. I insist upon it for nervous patients.” he said. “It's not I he exercise alone—though that is worth gold, but the nerve discipline it entails. Every yard that the nervous cyclist gets over he finds some wonderful disaster which his mind had conjured up has not happened, and he gains courage, and more and more as he goes on. Learning to cycle is a nerve tonic which has been of incalculable benefit to thousands.”

But the first thing necessary is for a man to discover that he lacks *clf-confi dence. and to make up his mind to remedy it. Tf he has anything “in him.” he will do it, and it is worth doing.

"Thp word takes a man at his own valuation,” a philosopher has said. Like most philosophers sayings, it is about as false as it is true. But the world, though it certainly does not always readily believe what a man says in his own praise, accepts very quickly any con fession of weakness he may make. And when the world is clamouring for ability in all directions, if a man who is able to do something keeps his mouth closed, it accepts his silence as a confession of impotence. Can one blame the world? A great explorer once told me that he hanged one of his band for not disclosing to him his knowledge of the country in which they had been wandering for weeks.

“Every day the fellow did not speak was treachery.” he declared, in answer to my objection that thp proeppding ap peared rather arbitrary. The world, in a way, resorts to the explorer’s methods with people who have abilities that, through self-diffi dence. they allow to go undiscovered. They are traitors to themselves; and their punishment—the world’s neglect «>f them—is even more sure than was my friend’s rope. “For one who has succeeded in the legal profession by self-advertisement and presumption. T have known twenty fail through the lack of confidence in and loyalty to their abilities.” Lord Cockburn once said. And T most firmly believe that his lordship was in that judgment as right as he usually was.