At What Age Should Lovers Become Engaged?

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXI, Issue XVIII, 31 October 1903, Page 63

At What Age Should Lovers Become Engaged?

It is a proud moment in the life of the average young man when the girl he professes to love consents to wear his engagement ring. And it is quite safe to affirm that one of the happiest periods in a girl’s life is when she is able to exhibit the little hoop of gold on her finger, which proclaims the fact that there is someone who considers her the best and dearest little woman in the world. This, perhaps, accounts for the fact that no sooner do two young people become attracted toward one another, and indulge in lovers' walks, stolen interviews and kisses, than the young man makes all haste to purchase the best engagement ring he can afford, in order that he may be able to feel that the girl is pledged to him alone. The thought as to whether he and the one who has captivated his heart are old enough to plight their troth is a matter which probably both of them think of no consequence whatever. The young woman, as a rule, is quite willing to wear his engagement ring, in spite of the fact that their combined ages do not, perhaps, exceed thirty-four or thirty-five years, and her lover’s salary is such that some five or six years must elapse before they can think of getting married. To say the least of it. such an engagement is somewhat dangerous to the happiness of both concerned. Sometimes their patience and love are tried and not found wanting during the years of waiting, and the reward of their faithfulness to one another is many years of happy married life. But more often than not, after the first glamour of love has worn off and the engagement is a

year or so old, they discover that there are serious failings between them. They unhappily find that what they thought was love in the first place was purely boy and girl fancy, and probably by the time they reach the age of twenty-one or twenty-two each of them meets some one else who wins their real love. It more frequently happens, however, that one is true to his or her youthful vows, the other being rendered doubly miserable by the fact that he or she fears to bring unhappiness into the other’s life by confessing that someone else had gained his or her heart’s affection. Under such circumstances a young man has often felt himself in honour bound to continue his engagement to the girl who has loved and trusted him for so long, although he knows full well that his real love is bestowed elsewhere. And so it may happen with the woman. Such unhappy situations would undoubtedly be avoided to a great extent if couples would wait until they were twenty-one or twenty-two years of age. or even older, if the marriage day is far distant, before pledging themselves. It is far better that an acquaintanceship between two young people, even it they do love one another, should con tinue without any binding attachment until they are both of age. If their love for one another is true and sincere it will not lose any of its value because of the absence of any outward sign. The practical girl will perhaps say that it is not fair for a man to occupy two or three years of a young woman’s life without something definite being settled between them, and an’ engagement ring is necessarx in many cases to keep him to his promise of love and marriage. A man. however, who would not remain sincere and true to the woman he professed to love unless held to his pledge by the sight of an engagement ring upon her finger would not be worth a moment’s thought. o o o o o